swirls

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it’s all swirly in my head right now:

part of me wants to talk about my friend adam eating’s dog getting killed last week and how sad i am about that

part of me wants to talk about running off to cuba on my first vacation in five years with nayrb

chunks of me are most fascinated that i came back from cuba and like my boyfriend more… which like, really, i didn’t think was possible

some of me wants to wonder why some people can’t just let me go even though they chased me out the door

bits are wondering about posting a couple of cuba pictures… here’s one that nayrb took of me at a crocodile farm we visited, a lovely cuban man handed me this bird…:

whole divisions wish to crow about my facility in cuba because i speak italian a little.  one lady even asked me if i spoke spanish!  go me!  not to mention?  i learned some spanish!

some of me is pretty excited about being back in my life.  in fact i got a little bored toward the end there… but that’s as it should be

parts of me wonder how it’s possible that fidel castro stepped down when *i* was in cuba!  like what are the odds?

the eastern division has me thinking about my beloved leafs and their captain.  it’s interesting that he chose to stay but i think ultimately the right thing.  i mean really, was it worth it to the leafs to lose him?  not for me.  of course i know i have a crush on him but i’m also realistic and this is a guy with a lot to teach the kids that are coming

my heart wants to talk to my parents and my sister but they’re always in bed when i have free time…

nayrb went in the ocean for his first time ever… i’m glad i was there:

my heart is very heavy for my friend lsd

my skin feels particularly happy and glowing at the moment.  i turned all italian while i was away and i love it. i wish i had a tan all year long…

yeah, so as you can see, i’m feeling a little discombobulated.  kind of can’t figure out which way is up and at the same time feeling a little disconnected from it all.

ah well, i’ll try to enjoy it while it lasts

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i am now addicted to vacations.  i’ve already chosen my next four weeks off… one of them is the week i just passed… but next year  :)

holy unfairness batman

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so yeah i’m having a day.

i’m sure you’re all having days too, some better than others… but i’m having a day. i woke up a little late and couldn’t get my head on straight and taught a funny class and went to class where i never quite felt like i was there and then…

and then the day improved of course.

i mean who doesn’t want to spend the first day of their first vacation in five years shovelling out their car after they’ve gotten it stuck? heaving on it with a few helpers? dumping salt all over the place to get traction for the feet as we push?

how about getting it out of the rut only to rub it up against a fence while doing so? calling your boyfriend at home to get you a tow truck? waiting for it and then watching as it pulls your car off the fence… now with a broken mirror and fresh scratches and sixty bucks to the awesome little old tow truck driver named luigi?

almost but not quite killing a pedestrian?

how about realising that you are no longer competent and that beyond calling a cab at three am and MAYBE, just MAYBE managing to pack you are done? can’t even write a fuck you suckers i’m on vacation post done?

doesn’t that sound like the best vacational first day ever?

how about if i tell you that’s only half of the shit that’s wrong right now? that i have a bladder and a yeast infection? [and if you know about my other ...issue? that is acting up too.]

don’t you think the universe might be having a little fun with me?

dear universe, i really need a rest okay? would you mind making the rest of the week a little easier than the first day? pretty please?

cherries on top?
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for the record, i’m still feeling pretty good. i’m aware rationally that although i’m having a brutal day i have in no way impacted my actual vacation in any damaging way.

i mean hell the mirror was halfway broken already!

not to mention? it’s a chilly twenty four degrees in cayo coco right now.. i think that might be the temperature here in fahrenheit today…

all you can eat food and drink… beautiful man to share it with…

five star beach and cuban music to lull me into a drunken stupor…

average daily temperature of 26 degrees celsius and nightly of 21…

yeah, sounds good to me.

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hopefully this day will stop piling little disasters on top of each other. i’m really hoping that i can finish my laundry and make my bed and pack between now and three am without too much trauma…

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but you know what happens at 11:10am tomorrow morning?

oh yeah, i land in cuba for day one of my first vacation in five years…

sayonara kids!

relief

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i am looking at a cleaner desk.

i am looking at a cleaner desk that is symbolic of something so much better.

you see i hired my friend to come over and sort through all my papers. she will take all those myriad statements and bills and receipts and turn them in to some kind of useful filing system.

after that? she will enter all of this data into a spreadsheet and then? and then we will hire a bookkeeper who will do my taxes for the last five years.

yeah shut up, i am aware that i should have done them more recently. that said, i pretty much always do them every five years so this is nothing new. in fact i think the government will faint when i start to file annually.

so there are a few interesting thoughts hiding in the above, not the least of which is that i have finally accepted that *i* will NEVER get this crap done. i have been trying to make myself do this stuff for two years!

two years!

do you want to know when even some of it happened? yeah, last time i got this friend to come over and help me.

*sigh* i suck at this stuff. i can hardly call clients back and answer email let alone get my filing and paperwork done; so here’s the thing, i have accepted that i will not do this and chosen to spend some money so that it happens anyway.

i think this is akin to admitting that i cannot keep my house clean enough to run a business in and hiring a maid. i think it’s delegating of the highest order. this is extra funny because i’m always telling my boyfriend that he needs to learn to delegate.

but well, it’s a lot easier to see what other people need than what you do.

the other interesting thing hiding in the above is that i hired someone.

i have in fact hired another human being simply to make my life go better.  not only have i hired them but i’ve committed to paying them.  you know what this means?  this means that i actually BELIEVE my business is doing well enough to commit a couple of hundred dollars a month to making it run better.

yeah i’m kind of stunned to find myself in that position too but there it is.   i actually believe in my business enough to ask someone else to believe in it enough to work for me in expectation of money.  i mean she can make financial decisions because of me!

that’s so strange it is.

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in other news, nayrb and i have finally booked our vacation.

i know!  i’m going away for a WHOLE WEEK!!!!!

no work for a WEEK!

that mythical vacation i’ve been talking about for four years?  finally here!

*snoopydance of glee*

here’s the beach:

and because i know you guys love this shit, here is the link to the resort.

the best part?

it’s in cuba which is one of the few places i had really despaired of visiting in time.  by this i mean that when fidel dies something is going to get different in cuba and i really wanted to see it the way it is now rather than the way it will be.  not that it isn’t possible that what’s coming will be better but still, it’s worth seeing now.

i don’t think we’ll be near enough to see havana, but there is apparently a quaint little town nearby that should satisfy our urge to see some real cuba… but let’s be honest, i just want to sleep and eat and drink and swim in the ocean and hang out with my boyfriend…

ahhh bliss.