this is me feeding my cats

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see that? how i went to the closet and got cat food and gave it to my cats? and see how they stopped yowling for food?

no?

well all right then.

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so the leafs have had another disappointing season. there are in fact nine games left so they have a decent chance of catching up from tweflth where they are currently sitting to ninth or so.

it’s weird how they’ve had terrible luck and the worst calls and are definitely not going to make the playoffs *again* and yet i’m still madly in love with them. i mean there are a few mitigating circumstances but geeze it’s not like they’re very good either.

by all rights i should be over this team. i should have stopped having a crush on mats sundin and i should definitely not be thinking that they’re playing better than their position in the scoring charts would indicate.

and yet… and yet i realize that i’m not really telling the truth. although they are better than where they are sitting in the standings? they still aren’t *good.*

i can tell the difference. i’ve seen what montreal has done with their young players and the magic word. what magic word? why teamwork of course.

that thing where they practice passing the puck again and again before they actually shoot. the thing where they play together.

god it’s pretty to watch.

please don’t tell anyone that i’m enjoying watching the habs play hockey okay? i mean i’m supposed to hate them they’re like hockey evil or something since i’m a leafs fan. and i am a leafs fan i am…

but i sure am glad my other conference team (calgary!) is playing better…

mmm iginla and kiprusoff… here comes the cup playoffs…

[don't tell anyone but i think montreal is a major contendor this year]

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i just went to play a game of dress-up clue where i turned out to be the villain!

check out my awesome card:

anyway it was a surprisingly good time and i confess that i was extra delighted to be the murderer!

plus?

i got called beautiful!

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i know it’s silly to love the nice things people say about me but well… go me! compliments like that really do make a body feel good.

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nayrb got a haircut and he looks all extra cute… pretty nice if you’re me also.

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incidentally?  nayrb fed the cats… thanks nayrb!

it’s interesting how little i have to complain about these days. most of the things in my life that had been causing me to complain (or blog)have been fixed.

i can actually afford shoes and i don’t hurt much anymore and i have a nice apartment and my business is finally doing better and then?  after all that falls into place?

i meet a nice man.

seems so impossible really to be living an angst free life.  impossible but fucking awesome!

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nayrb and i went to a crocodile farm in cuba and here we are molesting a child:

night kids!

wishes

how lovely is this? i got it in an email that informed me i had to forward it or i would have bad luck… of course good luck follows the forward. whatever. that said, it’s such a nice wish that i really would wish it for anyone i knew:

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

and see the thing that’s neat about this? i would absolutely wish that on anyone i know. anyone. this is what i want your life to be; you who is anyone that reads this blog ever.

the world would be better if that wish were true for everyone. people would share more and be nicer and maybe relax and slow down just a little bit. when did we lose the sitting on the porch with a lemonade or a mint julep and watching the sun go down?

why did such lovely moments of simple relaxation disappear? how is it that free time is the one thing we don’t seem to treasure anymore?

i say that, of course, in the middle of a day where i refused to leave the house (after a class i took this morning) and all i did was watch television and blog.  so it isn’t like i don’t treasure my time off.

in fact?  since i took a vacation it’s all i can do not to immediately take another one!

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in point of fact my current financial dilemma is more interesting than that.  you see there are these two courses  that i want to take and they are in may and within a few weeks of each other.  one is a weekend in austin texas which would allow me to a) go to austin b) meet a buncha folks i’ve known on the net for years c) learn from a pilates elder and d) experience a good pilates conference again.

the other involves a really great second generation teacher who is coming to toronto from her town to do a weekend on the cadillac.  my most underutilized but much loved cadillac.  the cadillac that i drove to virginia to get (with my father natch… in his truck)  and use constantly and do not know enough about.

so yeah, i want to do them both!

i want to do them both but i keep spending money and i really don’t have any savings.  i get that i have to invest in myself but it’s really hard because i also get that i need to continue learning because it’s that continued learning that keeps me on top of my field.

[not on top like my teacher or marie jose... on top like competent and involved and steadily evolving]

i want to take these great educational opportunities that would cost me about a thousand dollars in flight and hotel (but probably little to no food) and six hundred and forty dollars in tuition and throw two thousand dollars at them and just do them both but.

but i just got back from a vacation and while i’m doing okay with money in the sense that i’m making slightly more than i spend i am totally failing to save anything.

i have no rainy day cushion whatsoever and i hate that.

for five years i’ve been choosing the business and throwing money at it but it sucks.  it sucks because much as i love my business this constant living on the edge financially is draining and exhausting.

i hate making my rent with pennies to spare.  i hate having a few hundred dollars in my account in one of those ‘between cheque’ periods and i most assuredly hate being terrified of getting sick.

i can afford a week off now.  i have earned five sick days and two weeks vacation a year.  i can even take long weekends but savings?

i guess that’s the next hurdle.  i had thought it would come before time off but it turns out that one needs breaks to maintain sanity.  weird i know.

so there it is…. thirty six and starting to save money.

so now remind me… how do i save money AND go to school?