20 *good* questions

i lifted these from a guy’s profile on okcupid.com of all things… but don’t they look fun?

1. What is the most foolishly dangerous thing you have ever done?

i don’t know because i’m not really afraid of much.  i think it’s probably either some kind of driving insanity or unprotected sex…

2. What is something that you have always wanted to do, but haven’t had the nerve to try?

skydive and surf… one is knees and the other is money rather than nerve.

3. Have you ever embarrassed yourself (vs. gotten in trouble) in front of the law? If so, how?

i was waiting for my father to pick me up in naples, florida when a cop tried to arrest me for soliciting.  this is particularly funny because i was a virgin at the time.

4. Is there anything you regularly spend more money on than you should? If so, what?

any of eating out, books, shoes or chocolate…

5. What is your guiltiest pleasure? (vs. your naughtiest pleasure)

REALITY TEEVEE!!!!

6. What one thing most perplexes you about the opposite sex?

why say you’ll call if you’re not going to?  why bother?  i wasn’t even thinking you would until you said “i’ll call you” or “that was perfect” … if you’re not going to call?  don’t SAY YOU WILL!

7. What is the biggest thing you have ever done totally spontaneously?

lsd

8. Have you ever had the opportunity to partake in a big adventure or fulfill a major fantasy, but passed on it doing so, to your regret? Is so, what?

i could have spent the winter with the carnival in puerto rico, barbados and bahamas.  five hour workdays from 5-10pm and winter in the tropics… still regret that one.

9. Is there anything you would really like to know about a guy (gal) you meet, but feel it is inappropriate to ask too quickly? If so, what?

heh

do you mind that in about two months i’m going to start actively trying to get pregnant?  from a sperm donor?  who isn’t you?

wait wait where did you go???

otherwise: do you have any stds?

10. What is the worst or most embarrassing date you have ever had?

the one where he didn’t show up, on valentine’s day.

11. What is the most decadent thing that you have ever done?

mani-pedi at the stillwater spa at the hyatt?

hrm… it all comes back to food, i’m italian and i LOVE food so whatever it was it was food. ahhh maybe new year’s eve dinner in a restaurant in italy?

12. If you could instantly be an expert in anything, what would you choose and why?

languages.  i would love to speak a bunch of them.

why?  because with each language i learn i find a new facet of myself and learn about the world and broaden my mind and…

13. Is there anything that both turns you off and excites you? If so, what?

pain.

14. If you could be a member of the opposite sex for one day, what would you do besides have sex?

you know i hadn’t really thought beyond the sex, but i think really it would be investigate my treatment by people to see if it really is different man vs woman.

15. What is the most noteworthy outfit you have worn out on an ordinary day? (Halloween or costume parties excluded.)

aw geeze now i can’t mention my bettie page night outfits…

um… when i was a sweet young thing i used to hang out in rock and roll bars…

so something like a hot pink miniskirt, tall boots and a fringed leather jacket plus bra and a LOT of makeup and BIG hair…

16. What is something outrageous you have done that you can’t believe you got away with, without being caught?

still as a teenager… shoplifting.

a lot.

17. What is something that you now know about the opposite sex that you wish you had known a long-time ago?

not to take them so seriously … life without a man in it is still a fine life.  or maybe not to invest until they proved worth caring about.

18. If a genie granted you three kinky wishes, what would they be?

an orgy

having a penis for a day

hrm… *smiles*

19. Do you have any inhibitions that you wish you could give up? If so, what?

i worry too much about other people when i should be worrying about myself.  who cares if they are uncomfortable… me that’s who.

i kind of wish i cared less about my cats and my clients and wasn’t afraid to sell it all and move somewhere at the opposite ends of the earth… just because

(as i typed that my cat mouse head butted me)

20. What do you think of these 20 questions?

i think they were fun and that they might just become a blogmeme  :)

maintenance

.

there’s this thing that men that like me say about me along about the second or third date and it always makes me crazy.  it makes me crazy the way being called perfect does and for many of the same nebulous and hard to pin down reasons.

they tell me that i’m awesome because i’m not high maintenance.  and at first i thought this was a great thing to hear, i mean who wants to be high maintenance right?  who wants to be that kind of pain in the ass person right?

it’s just that somehow there’s this entire host of assumptions that go along with this idea that i’m low maintenance.

see that?  see that little switch i pulled?  yeah i didn’t either for a while.  you see when they say that i’m not high maintenance what they mean is that i’m low maintenance and you know what?

those two terms are not interchangeable.

i still want flowers and bon bons and random dinners just because.

i want champagne and door holding and silly romance just for the sake of it.

i’m still difficult and capricious and stubborn and i want my own way and i’m always right of course.

i want valentine’s day in july and my birthday in march and i want to be treasured and respected and wooed.

i also want to be treated like an equal and expected to participate fully in the building and caring for a shared life.  i don’t mean that i want to be a sheltered daisy but i do want something that being ‘low maintenance’ doesn’t seem to lead to.

somehow when you’re low maintenance you’re a host of other things too, things that i don’t entirely have words or descriptions for.  thinks like easy, passive, not stubborn, without strong opinions… and yet that’s not what i mean.

somehow low maintenance equals don’t have to try or something.  i’m not being fair to at least one man i’ve dated in the past okay?

i don’t even know how to protest it really i mean what do you say?  how do you put this into words on a second or third date without coming across like some sore of semantically insane woman who is too picky about words?

.

it’s kind of like the word perfect. somehow being beautiful and fascinating and hot and stunningly intelligent are all good where the word perfect makes my skin crawl.

literally.

perfect puts you up on some kind of pedestal that no one can actually survive the fall from.  it’s as though you are stuck up in the aerie and admired from a distance until the little things start to add up and then the rocks start flying.

the rocks start flying and you fall off the damn pedestal and there you are beaten and bloody on the ground and no longer good enough.

and you can’t measure up to that initial impression, you just can’t.

what i can’t figure out is how to sort the pedestalling men from the regular men.  like how exactly can you tell when a man is going to stick you on a pedestal and hate you when you fall off versus just thinking that you’re awesome but recognizing you as a human being?

because at first?  at first i think those two things probably look exactly the same.

.

i really don’t want to start having to wear four inch heels as a symbol of my high maintenanceness i really don’t but i fear that my easy hair and casual demeanor may be getting me in trouble.

setting me up as it were to be something i’m actually not because you know what?

i’m high maintenance too, i’m just not high maintenance about my fucking hair!

:)