snapshots of an idle mind

July 9, 2005

so much to think about, so little to say

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 11:39 pm

I feel the little black thoughts coming… the ones that creep in in little rivulets of black goo like that black oil from the later seasons of the X-Files. Just a smidgen here and a smidgen there and suddenly you’re just not your usual happy self.

if only they weren’t so insidious…

Today this can most likely be explained by the fact that I taught a class at a studio I don’t usually teach at followed directly by a certification exam upon which I believe I did very well. I don’t; however, think that my class went half as well as my exam. I think I was scattered and lacked focus which I DO NOT like. I’m supposed to be good at this dammit.

And I am, it’s just that I’m destroyed from teaching giant classes. I’ve sort of lost the talent for finding the right class for a tiny group. I think I was probably distracted by test also but that’s no excuse. Ah well… win some… lose more. I’ll just go take a group class and remind myself how a good one goes. Hope I get another shot!

I just feel like there’s something I’m missing. Something in the way that I teach that just doesn’t quite jive with the students. I see some of them … the ones who need this work the most.. just shake their heads and leave and I know that I’ve lost them and I don’t know why…

Now I’ve seen this happen to my favourite teacher… i’ve seen the people I thought most needed her be turned off by her. So it can’t just be me… but still there’s a ring of truth with her and I used to have it and I feel that I’ve lost it.

Hopefully now that I’m not studying for a certification exam I can go back to learning how to BE a teacher. :)

Off to sleep, hope to be cheerier in the morning.



  1. hey thanks for the link and the kind words there as well.

    tomorrow’s a better day. cheers :)

    Comment by Stoned.Nerd — July 10, 2005 @ 10:30 am | Reply

  2. you’re welcome.

    and you’re right, today is in fact a much better day. I’m so tired from climbing that I can hardly type!


    Comment by sassinak — July 10, 2005 @ 7:21 pm | Reply

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