snapshots of an idle mind

September 9, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 12:24 am

hrm, i wonder if i’ve correctly spelled weird.

i can’t spell that word, i have a weird mental block.

today has been a really strange day. I watched some tv (season finale of alias) and smoked pot and went to band practise… and mostly sat around and was sore. like really sore. it’s weird to have my body hurt this much since it’s been years since i hurt this way.

it’s totally different than the pain i got used to before. this is sharper and more immediate and somehow both more and less annoying. more because my repaired body is being broken. less because it’s broken from overuse. more because i am used to having it around and useful and it’s lame and tired. less because i know it will be fine in a couple of days instead of a year….

that kind of crap.

also i’m in recovery. i was fully lost in an unhealthy mental pattern but i think i’ve let it go and started to move out of that and into a more healthy place. wishes us luck. i really dislike those thought patterns that just swirl around and around like a hurricane forms in the gulf. sometimes they dissipate and sometimes they make a giant mess. this time i think it’s dissipating.

speaking of hurricanes… i’m not going to. i will say that this appears to be the first major coastal change caused in large part by mankind being stupid about their waterway maintenance and well, planetary maintenance. I wish i thought it would be the last.

i’m so exhausted, i wish i could sleep for like 9 hours tonight but i can’t… i can, however, do that on friday night as long as i’m in bed by 2. that’s a good sign for an evening.

you know, i’m too tired to post more, i had a pile of thoughts but they will have to wait until later.



  1. “wishes us luck.”

    Yes, my precious … we will not hurtssss the massster. We will notsssss!!

    LOL … sorry; but you WERE a bit gollum-ish with that statement ;)

    but kudos for unloading the unhealthy mental pattern.

    and the problem with humans is that we, as a species, think that we can overcome Mother Nature’s worst. While we can abate the worst, and adapt better than most, sometimes we’re just ants under the magnifying glass.

    • We build homes and developments in flood plains.
    • We build homes like 10 feet from the beach in areas hit by hurricanes.
    • We live in trailer homes in tornado alley.
    • We build homes along hills and mountains subject to landslides.
    • We construct cities right along major fault lines.
    • We live in homes on or near active volcanoes.

    Our hubris knows no bounds … and then we cry out, “Why? Why?!?”

    happy sleepy time!!

    Comment by DZER — September 9, 2005 @ 5:05 am | Reply

  2. Hope you feel better, sometimes I feel overwhelmed with stuff to post, and then I forget, Fuck, I forgot what I was going to tell you. ;). Get some rest.

    Comment by -RM — September 9, 2005 @ 5:49 am | Reply

  3. dzer: i’m just glad someone noticed the gollumishness of that comment… else i would have been sad :)

    dzer i was dumping expectations into a situation and my head was going around and around in circles… it’s nice to let that sort of shit go.

    i don’t cry out why… i just sigh and try to keep on keeping on. that said, i moved away from the scary giant fault not toward it *grin*

    rm yeah me too… i’ll have all this great stuff in my head and it’s gone when i sit down to type!

    Comment by sassinak — September 9, 2005 @ 9:10 am | Reply

  4. ah … it was intentional gollumishness … +4 points

    I just remembered what a good climber gollum is … and if you dated him, he would be two boyfriends in one … LOL

    and I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow … and the next day ;)

    Comment by DZER — September 9, 2005 @ 9:35 am | Reply

  5. I noticed… yaay gollum… and yaay for the healthier pattern in thoughts :)


    Comment by Natalia — September 9, 2005 @ 11:47 am | Reply

  6. yay +4 for gollum referencing!

    you know dzer i really would like to date someone who climbs, it would be SO much easier when i wanted to find a belayer *grin*

    also i spend a lot of time doing it, would be nice to do it with someone i cared for on occasion.

    rubbing in the sleeping in :P

    natalia: yay for noticing! :)

    and yeah, it’s sure nice to let that thought morass go.

    Comment by sassinak — September 9, 2005 @ 11:59 am | Reply

  7. Take a break, pull back and relax. I’m doing the same…taking a gym break for a couple of weeks. Did 900# x6 on the leg press and I started to feel like I was going to toss it so I bailed. My trainer told me to take it easy for a while, so I am.

    Oh, KK and bride are getting married Oct 21, 2006.

    Comment by castufari — September 9, 2005 @ 12:03 pm | Reply

  8. um dude

    i can’t take it easy, i’m unemployed and broke

    Comment by sassinak — September 9, 2005 @ 12:17 pm | Reply

  9. belay that!

    I miss the days when I was just broke … broke would be a step up the financial ladder for me LOL

    Comment by DZER — September 9, 2005 @ 8:11 pm | Reply

  10. I mean take it easy as in skip climbing for a couple of days, maybe find a grassy knoll and sleep in the sun.

    Being broke sux0rs. I recall my broke days when I was doing every consulting job that came my way just so I could eat. Damn I hated it.

    I am too amped to sleep.

    Comment by castufari — September 9, 2005 @ 10:02 pm | Reply

  11. Hey I liked your blog about BB King and thanks for giving him his props. I just saw Jimmy Buffet in Chicago and Next weekend I am going to see Farm Aid. Should be an excellent all day show. John Melloncamp,Willie Nelson, Neil Young, DAve Mathews, Buddy Guy, Susan Tradechi, Los Lonely Boys, Wilco, and More should be a god show check my blog for updates and reviews.

    Comment by BigBill — September 9, 2005 @ 10:34 pm | Reply

  12. Good news about the low pressure system moving out. I think that its weird that you spelled weird right every time without knowing how to spell it. You body being broken is a good thing. It will recover and be stronger for its healing troubles. However, I think, from one climber to another that you and Hubris might want to pace yourselves bouldering. A bad tendon injury to one of your fingers is disaster in the short term and deblitating in the long term. Tendons usually break down slowly and build slowly as well. Be kind to your joints. OK, I am off my soap box for the evening. Have a good night.

    Comment by Light Strikes A Deal — September 10, 2005 @ 12:19 am | Reply

  13. dzer you made a climbing joke. alternately a sailor joke… :)

    dude i don’t owe much but i don’t have enough income to pay my bills of a sudden. that did get me off my ass enough to get an interview or two for next week to teach… so if i keep on like that for another week i should be good.


    cast: yeah dude that’s what i’m doing. i don’t like the feelings i have in a couple of places, not the least of which is my lower back. taught a nice class this morning and went and danced a teeny bit tonight. tomorrow a workshow and a chance to ask my teacher some advice on how to make my fingers happier. anyway i probably won’t go until sunday and then maybe wednesday or not. see how i feel on sunday :)

    grassy knoll… i did take a boat cruise around the harbour tonight?

    Comment by sassinak — September 10, 2005 @ 1:51 am | Reply

  14. onward :)
    bill dude that sounds fucking awesome… i’m envious and so is at least tania cause she *loooves* wilco.

    light: dude i can’t figure out how to shorten your nickname.

    anyway yeah, i pushed myself exactly as hard as you can and i think not more. i’m recovering well, already today i was like hrm… that problem. hrm.

    so i figure i’ll just wait until my thumb recovers from chopping wood :)

    i need to do more routes also, the bouldering is awesome but it’s too hard to do all the time. must make hubris get a harness!

    Comment by sassinak — September 10, 2005 @ 1:53 am | Reply

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