snapshots of an idle mind

September 27, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 12:08 pm

pics are up in the post now
crap crap crap

kde spent like 30 hours building and then it ran out of space. fuck. so i have to start from scratch and you all will have to wait for your regularly scheduled blog comments [lynx can’t see the word verification image. word verification bitches] crap.

i really want a working gui i really do… i’m all spoiled now and this lynx thing isn’t doing it for me. That’s okay, I can still post even if I can only comment on some blogs (NONE of which are updated *grumble*) and at least I can still read them. This is sorta neat. Lynx gives you a line of text to write on and then keeps scrolling and scrolling so the actual edit and check your work functionality is totally gone. I just have to trust my brain to remember what I just said.

Don’t laugh, I’m not high right now I should be able to do it. I think I’m going to spend the day watching tv and occasionally typing things like make installkernel KERNCONF=MANTICORE about once an hour or so. Currently the world is building and that’s actually strangely fun to watch. You just see this crazy code stuff go scrolling across the screen and eventually it sort of makes sense.

So I posted my sledge pic to okcupid after all and it’s getting some good comments. Only from people who are already interested in my profile but nonetheless it seems to be working. I’m starting to wonder if my pics on that site are somehow misleading. Why you ask? Well I get a lot of attention from the 18-21 set and that seems a bit odd for a 34 year old woman. Hubris tells me that I underestimate the older woman effect. Sure fine… 6, 8, 10 years maybe but 16? That seems like a lot. I know that when I was 28 I dated a guy who was 44 and we had a pretty good time but the age difference really did make itself felt. When it comes to an eighteen year old I’m thinking that that 16 years is even longer. I mean I’m effectively twice the guy’s age. The pics I have up are my sledge picture, my blogspot profile pic and a couple of others where you can actually see my face. I’ll post them to this post later if I can ever get the gui working.

I think I look my age in those photos. It says 34 in my profile after all… so what’s with the kids coming after me? (for the record anyone over 25 is exempt from these comments… it’s the 21 year olds I can’t comprehend)

Maybe I’m being sexist. I know when I was 20 and dating my 31 year old boyfriend I didn’t think anything of it. In fact it was one of the healthiest relationships I was ever in. Sometimes I am so tempted to track that guy down, but I did once and we talked a bit and I grew and changed and he well… didn’t really. Why would he after all, he was a fully formed human when I met him. So why was it okay for me to date way above my own age and yet I think it weird when way younger men come after me? Hrm… methinks I feel some old prejudice working itself out.

That said, a 32 year old woman that I know recently split with her 21 year old boyfriend and apparently it was just those problems that split them up. She was just in a totally different place in her life than he was and it just wasn’t reconcileable. I think once both parties are over 25 there is a possibility for meeting somewhere in the middle of the life stages you’re both at, but until then I’m just not sure it’s possible. This guy she was dating was living with his mother and making like 60k/year and so would lecture her on her finances. She’s got debts, life history, an apartment to pay for and so on and here’s this kid lecturing her about how to save money. Apparently it about made her want to kill him.

So there is a happy medium somewhere with the age thing and I think it’s 25. I think somehow that that’s a magic number for figuring out relationships with or without an age difference.

Of course not all 25 year olds are created equal *grin*

[oh man, mouse jumped up on the windowsill which harriet considers her exclusive domain and harriet has spent like the last 40 minutes trying to get up there and mouse keeps just looking at her and not sharing. So harriet has finally figured a way up there and now mouse wants down and can’t figure out how. So they’re wrestling in the window… damm you guys are cute! And now they’re chasing each other around the place and sliding around the floors…]

I guess I just wonder what would possess an 18 year old to come after a 34 year old. I can understand 25-45 really but after that it seems a bit strange to me. It could be that I already have done massive age differences and so I’m aware that anything over ten years gets really weird. You’re just so not in the same place in your lives and often your priorities and needs or desires just don’t jive. I know there are exceptions, I’m pretty sure bo derek was happy every day of her marriage to that guy who’s 25 years older than she is… but she seems a bit of an extraordinary woman really.

Okay really I don’t care, I just want to know why on earth teenagers are after me and people anywhere near my actual age range just aren’t. Weirdness.



  1. Sometimes age just doesn’t matter. I have generally dated older women all of my life and had for a time gone with a woman in her 30’s when I was 18

    Comment by art — September 27, 2005 @ 2:25 pm | Reply

  2. art it didn’t get weird? i mean what did y’all talk about over breakfast?

    i know some really cool teenagers but i confess that i haven’t met one yet that i can imagine dating…

    i don’t particularly care about age but i do find the idea of dating a teenager sort of gross…

    like how would i look his mother in the face? especially since i’d be closer to her age then his…

    Comment by sassinak — September 27, 2005 @ 4:11 pm | Reply

  3. I dated someone who was 12 years older than me. Some stuff we were ok with, other items, like music and the like we didn’t click on. She didn’t understand how I could wake up at 5:30am to go surf, I didn’t understand how she could wake up at 5:30am to go teach. We looked the age difference apart, people did glance when we went out. I’d do it again if I was in the same situation.

    I killed word verification today, it’s annoying.

    Comment by castufari — September 27, 2005 @ 6:58 pm | Reply

  4. how old were you at the time?

    i have to say if you were going to go surf i would just come with you. also i get up at 5:30 on wednesdays to teach…

    i don’t really care about age differences dude but dating a teenager seems wrong. I think my hard limit is 25… though i am willing to be convinced…

    yeah i just delete the spam and be done with it… it’s settled down a lot since the word verification showed up all over

    Comment by sassinak — September 27, 2005 @ 7:17 pm | Reply

  5. I think it all depends on maturity level and life experience. Some 18 year olds are more mature and worldly than some 25 year olds, though I admit it’s rare.

    As for why 18 year old men like mid-30s women, there are probably a couple of factors. 1. There’s the MILF thing; 2. There’s the teacher thing (learning from a willing, experienced woman); 3. Sexual peak of both is about the same, in terms of having lotsa sex.

    I dated an older woman while in college. I learned a LOT. ;)

    Comment by DZER — September 27, 2005 @ 7:38 pm | Reply

  6. maybe that’s what bugs me… most of the time these vast age gap relationships are transient. and i guess that’s cool and all but i don’t know that i want to start a relationship i expect to have end based in large part on our differing places in life. I mean i know the majority of relationships end but i’m not sure i want to start one that’s already sorta doomed. though i hear ashton and demi got married *grin*

    i too know some 18 year olds that impress the shit out of me, so i’m certainly not saying it isn’t possible I just don’t really get the attraction for them. i know where the temptation is for the older woman, these boys are still immortal and that’s charming as hell… it’s just why would you want a woman who is admiring her wrinkles and cellulite when you could have something that’s young, sweet and innocent?

    it’s weird dude. i don’t get it…

    glad you had a nice mrs. robinson experience though :) seems a lot of people have to have those at least once…

    Comment by sassinak — September 27, 2005 @ 7:46 pm | Reply

  7. At the ripe young age of 26, I’ve dated women both 5 years older and younger than myself, and can very definitely say that the younger women were much more difficult to relate to than those who were older than I.

    (And the older ones were much better…uhm…teachers.)

    So maybe that’s what these young men are after??

    Comment by SonusExMachina — September 27, 2005 @ 8:32 pm | Reply

  8. well i’m 8 years older than you… do you think you would approach someone SIXTEEN years older though?

    I mean i can see eight years, but sixteen?

    hee uhm teachers… i recall sex being fun but i’m not sure i could teach anymore it’s been so long…

    Comment by sassinak — September 27, 2005 @ 9:41 pm | Reply

  9. it’s like riding a bicycle, darlin’ … except you don’t have to pedal ;)

    Comment by DZER — September 27, 2005 @ 10:11 pm | Reply

  10. *snicker*

    i may not have to pedal but i’m pretty sure i’m supposed to participate.

    i have to do something about my scruples clearly… there’s all these teenagers waiting to get jumped…

    so ewwy. just can’t get past the whole cougar thingy. Even 22 is better than 18 somehow…

    Comment by sassinak — September 27, 2005 @ 10:33 pm | Reply

  11. do two of them at once … they’ll be 36 together ;)

    Comment by DZER — September 27, 2005 @ 10:40 pm | Reply

  12. *lmao* not that i mind a good 3some… well at least in my early/mid 20s i didn’t… :)

    ahhh my twenties *fond reminiscing slightly naughty smile*

    Comment by sassinak — September 27, 2005 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

  13. ooh! ooh! I wanna hear these reminisces! And I’m sure a large portion of your blog faithful do too ;)

    Comment by DZER — September 28, 2005 @ 1:50 am | Reply

  14. but dzer if i told then it wouldn’t be teasing now would it?

    *evil grin*

    Comment by sassinak — September 28, 2005 @ 6:08 am | Reply

  15. Did I miss the post about how your date went??????


    Comment by Natalia — September 28, 2005 @ 10:17 am | Reply

  16. I tend toward older women myself though sixteen years is a bit much. I percieve a sense of entitlement in younger woman (oh I want to spank you. You little brat) that is not there with older ladies (thank you for trying to understand my my perspective) that have been knocked around by life a little. I am sure this applies to young men as well.
    Still, if I had to guess as to why a eighteen year old would be emailing a thirty hummmm year old, I would guess its because he is banking on you being as desprite and horney as he is. Obviously not the case, but I wonder how often it works? I have this one swinging friend that goes out in his shining tight shirt every other night or so and preceeds to get turned down by every available woman in the club until he finds a taker. The guy gets layed more often than one might think using this tactic.

    Comment by Light Strikes A Deal — September 28, 2005 @ 10:57 am | Reply

  17. I had no idea how old my “Mrs Robinson” was until we went clubbing one night and she asked me to hold her ID. Then I met one of her kids one day at a beach cleanup….that was sort of freaky, since my little brother was only a few years older.

    I wonder the attraction is that younger guys are supposed to be all full of sexual energy and older women are supposed to be at their peak. Seems like a nice connection to me thought as an older guy it’s like “uh oh”.

    /me says that dropping a few # and gaining some muscle mass has helped TONS

    Comment by castufari — September 28, 2005 @ 11:06 am | Reply

  18. age is just a number.

    i think older ladies have this allure about them. sexually and intellectually.

    but as my other guy mates always like to tell me, for guys, there’s this threshold age, say 28. before that, guys like older women. after that, they want younger ones to make themselves feel younger…. not sure how correct that hypothesis is? ;)

    Comment by Stoned.Nerd — September 28, 2005 @ 11:46 am | Reply

  19. natalia: no you did not… there wasn’t much to say.

    lsd: oh I so know what you mean about the teenagers… someone actually said to me once like i was supposed to be all honoured ‘but a `19 year old WANTS to fuck you’ as though i was so desperate and sad that i would fuck him JUST because he wanted me. It was highly insulting. What’s funny about it is that I find that the teens that are after me have basically nothing of interest to say. (i do know a very interesting 19yo international relations major but he’s gay… and complains that the older men he prefers won’t give him a chance)

    that’s really not a bad tactic for getting laid if you have no scruples and no desire for something real. i want realness. sucks to be me.

    castu: i’m way thinner, hotter and more muscular than i was two years ago and it hasn’t helped at ALL. at ALL. i expected it would, i used it as my excuse for why i wans’t getting any action but i’m still not getting any so… yeah, i don’t really know what it is, i do wonder if i’m putting out some sort of vibe…

    i don’t want to date a teenager dammit. 25 okay… but 18? fuck no. too much raising and not enough partnering. Er raising as in raising kids not um.. *giggle*

    nerd: i think you’re dead on right. the men my age seem universally to be after girls in their mid twenties or so. makes you wonder what would happen if i did hook up with someone in their 20s… want to lay bets on me getting dumped before they hit 30?

    course i do have that pelvic floor control… *eg*

    Comment by sassinak — September 28, 2005 @ 11:59 am | Reply

  20. I asked someone I know who routinely dated older guys (like 16 years older) what the attraction was, she said the maturity. Younger guys had no business sense, etc and were more concerned about having a good time than becoming good citizens. (She’s sort of prudish). I’ll ask my other female friends (who are your age) what the attraction is.

    Oh…NEVER mention that someone is looking for a “daddy” when they date someone much older than they are.

    Comment by castufari — September 28, 2005 @ 8:28 pm | Reply

  21. oh my god. did you seriously say that?

    *collapses in teary pool of helpless laughter*

    what did she say???

    oh my god *wiping tears*

    anyway, i’m curious to know what they say. it’s not like i’m averse, when my nana was my age she done snagged herself a younger man :)

    Comment by sassinak — September 29, 2005 @ 12:59 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: