snapshots of an idle mind

October 8, 2005

well now

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 4:02 pm

that was unexpected.

I had a really good time with climber guy yesterday and i really wasn’t prepared for that. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating more than one person (well maybe if you start having sex with one of them… or if you don’t inform them what’s up…) i’m just surprised that i enjoyed his company as much as i did. More in fact than the first time I met him.

Unexpected I guess because when i asked him climbing i wasn’t asking him out… but somehow taking two weeks to plan something takes it from ‘fun activity’ to ‘date’ (especially when it gets bumped to a friday).

Several of my friends inform me that they wish they had such problems… but it really is a problem. At some point I’ll have to make a decision and I’m feeling all greedy. Of course I believe such decisions make themselves and cannot be imposed on your heart for all the trying in the world but I feel sorta greedy anyway.

I am a greedy bithc. So there. Hrm, what’s a bithc? *chuckle*

Anyway I never did the ‘dating’ thing before. I always met someone and started seeing them and we sort of fell into some sort of exclusivity thingy after a bit and dated for a certain amount of time before we each went on our merry ways. This idea that I can be seeing multiple folks is just fully strange to me.

I do wonder how it makes them feel and I do occasionally get my guilt on but then my friends are like:
have you discussed commitment?
have you gotten naked?
have you lied to either of them?
have either of them asked you to stop seeing other people?
are you READY to commit to someone?

to which the answers are no no no no and no

In fact I’m feeling a bit commitment phobic really. I always dive into things and fall for people in thirty seconds flat and I just don’t want to. That never works out for me after all. It doesn’t make me feel any less weird about this whole idea of ‘dating’ (which is apparently defined as seeing lots of folks …) but it does help me to feel less wrong about it.

Why do I feel weird is the thing. So MANY people in my life look at me fully strangely when I start talking like this. They don’t even get how it could be something to think about. Hell they don’t even get why I think it’s weird to have sex with someone when you’re dating multiple people. Hell several of them think I should boink all the folks i’m dating/into.

They think I’m nuts actually. I have been informed by most of my friends that I should just go out there and boink someone and get it over with. I can see the temptation, I mean hell I’ve been working the pelvic floor for years now and it seems sort of wrong not to USE the dammed thing and yet.

I would feel icky in the morning. I don’t have to love someone to boink them but I have to feel intimate toward them. Funny really cause when it comes to necking I am a full on tart. No dude a tart. I will make out with pretty much anyone that asks. Necking is like… mmmm one of my top five ways to spend an hour. It’s just certain more naked acts that take me a while.

That doesn’t really make any sense does it? In a lot of ways kissing with tongue is one of the most intimate things you can do and yet i’m not remotely proprietary about that.

[Holy SHIT okcupid guy this cd is fucking awesome! And it just keeps getting better!]

Anyway at least I’m having feast rather than famine for a change. I’m sure it will all end badly and there will be some ‘never date sass cause she’s fully nuts’ club formed or something but for now I’m sure having a good time.

Still and all… multiple folks is just weird.



  1. man, life is rough for you right now — professional side getting ready to take off; dating life having to deal with two interesting men who seem to like you.

    ya poor thing. LOL

    Seriously though sass, as long as you or they aren’t emotionally vested, I say keep dating both. Once the intimacy level rises, with either, I’m sure you’ll make a decision for one of them, because I can’t see you wanting to hurt anyone. Right now, with the early just-dating vibe, that’s not an issue.

    Like you said, better the feast than the famine. Enjoy an eat heartily while you can ;)

    Comment by DZER — October 8, 2005 @ 8:45 pm | Reply

  2. See, you DID talk about sex on this post. HA.

    So it was in an indirect sort-of way.. but you said ‘boink’.

    I want to hear OKCupidboy’s cd…pls pass along the playlist if passing is permissible.

    Say that 5 times fast, sheesh

    Comment by Everything nice — October 8, 2005 @ 9:07 pm | Reply

  3. dzer: in a way it is rough but only because i’m very suspicious of this kind of fortune. Too many times things just start to ease (as in i just start to get some sheckels in the bank or i fix some ongoing car problem) the universe kicks me in the teeth. So there’s a certain waiting for the other shoe to drop sensibility happening here.

    I think you’re right dzer, as long as those 5 questions continue to be answered no then i’m really not doing anything wrong, it just feels a little odd. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone for sure but i can see myself doing it unintentionally. hee eat heartily *removes mind forcible from gutter*

    bubbles: okay i did talk about sex you are correct, but i certainly didn’t talk about sex the way you do! :) Mmmm boink *grin*

    well i’ll have to ask him but he says he gives em out like postcards so i can’t imagine him caring. care to comment ok cupid guy?

    Comment by sassinak — October 8, 2005 @ 10:02 pm | Reply

  4. OKcupidguy… totally have to. Really now. *he he he* “boink”

    Oh, and there’s nothing wrong with multiple folks by the way.

    Comment by Everything nice — October 9, 2005 @ 12:53 am | Reply

  5. OKcupidguy here.
    I dunno about all this ‘multiple folks’ thing. Is this all at once? In the same room? Sass?!?
    I mean, anything might happen!
    What if Climber Guy and I end up liking each other more than Sass (it is the 21st century) and run off together, leaving Sass completely Boinkless!! De-Boinked! With no reserve penii…or penuseses…..peanuckles?!
    Sigh. It is complicated.

    Ms. Nice:
    I think Sass is rockin’ to Johnny Tunes Volume #4, a sonic postcard, whose playlist runs as follows…

    1. Club Foot – Kasabian
    2. ABC – Jackson 5
    3. If You Can Want it – Dirtbombs
    4. Here it Comes – Doves
    5. The Sun and the Rain – Madness
    6. Feelgood by Numbers – The Go! Team
    7. The One I Love – Coldplay (Live in Paris, Aug 27, 2002)
    8. Smells Like Teen Booty – Soulwax Radio
    9. Pusherman – Curtis Mayfield
    10. Everywhere with Helicopter – Guided By Voices (Live in Atlanta, July 10, 2002)
    11. Tick – Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Live 2002, Peel Session)
    12. The List – Metric
    13. Our Lips are Sealed – Go Gos
    14. Linus and Lucy – Vince Guaraldi Trio (Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack)
    15. Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out) – The Arcade Fire
    16. Say No Go (Say No Dope Mix) – De La Soul
    17. Allergic – Deep Roots (Mixed by Amon Tobin on his amazing turn at the Solid Steel party mix series)
    18. Who’s Gonna Help a Brother Get further? – Lee Dorsey
    19. Panther Dash – The Go! Team (I loves them)
    20. The Dripping Dream – Sonic Youth
    21. Nice Work if You Can Get It – Billie Holiday

    Sorry to hijack the blog and all, but it is some of what Sass is putting into her brain right now.


    P.S.: Some of the above tunes you might have to ferret out via shady means, like Soulseek. Especially the live stuff, which is totally Usenet acquired.

    Comment by Johnny Canuck — October 9, 2005 @ 1:24 am | Reply

  6. Ah, the days of wine and boinking …

    I’m looking forward do some sit-comesque situation here: a testing of each, and then accidently scheduling dates with both at the same restaurant at the same time … and the ensuing hijinks as sass tries to pull off both dates at once … and then Mr. Roper ruins it all …

    Comment by DZER — October 9, 2005 @ 2:06 am | Reply

  7. Don’t (as I have) let overanalyzing get in the way of a good time.

    Comment by Dominator — October 9, 2005 @ 5:00 am | Reply

  8. bubbles: hey multiple folks is fun… especially if they’re all in bed together!

    johnny: thanks for hijacking my blog, that’s just what i was hoping you would do. As for the you and climber guy running off together idea it had occured to me how funny it would be if we all ran into each other and ended up out having beer together… course that’s not as dirty as where your brain went (or as funny actually). According to my mom when she was younger it was perfectly normal to date lots of folks… BUT there was a lot less sex so it wasn’t as weird as it gets today. I like the 50s for that I really do.

    dzer: trust me that scenario had occured to me as well. Although with a little bit less 3’s company and a little more truth from the sass :)

    dominator: i want to know what you did now! [or didn’t do as it were]

    Comment by sassinak — October 9, 2005 @ 10:23 am | Reply

  9. sass: by the way … have I told you how much I like saying “Sassinak”?





    Comment by DZER — October 9, 2005 @ 11:09 am | Reply

  10. it’s a really satisfying word to say actually… sass i nakk :)

    i’d say the closest actual word is sassenach though my i is shorter than the e in sassenach :)

    lalala i’m having a great day :)

    Comment by sassinak — October 9, 2005 @ 11:21 am | Reply

  11. yay for you!

    Comment by DZER — October 9, 2005 @ 11:25 am | Reply

  12. yup
    now i’m killing five minutes at the community centre before my class

    Comment by sassinak — October 9, 2005 @ 11:53 am | Reply

  13. Johnny:
    I was at Sass’ last night. Awesome cds can I just say. Songs I identified & LOVE:

    Tick- YYY
    Positive Tension- Bloc Party
    Caring is Creepy- Shins

    others that I heard & liked:
    She fucking refused to let me read the track list to maintain the wonder of a new mixed cd… fair enough. I’ll learn them in time.

    I told Sass in jest that we shouldn’t meet… I may want to run off with you… or at least your musical tastes.

    Comment by green_hedonist — October 9, 2005 @ 12:24 pm | Reply

  14. yeah dude half my friends are threatening to run off with johnny and the majority of those folks are boys!

    yeah hubris you went nuts for that version of tick… ask me nicely in about a month and you can borrow it :)

    Comment by sassinak — October 9, 2005 @ 1:37 pm | Reply

  15. A MONTH!?
    okay I can understand that. But all you need to do is bring it with you when you visit. Let me rip it. Then take it home. :)

    Comment by green_hedonist — October 9, 2005 @ 7:06 pm | Reply

  16. muhahahaha

    but then it wouldn’t be hedonist torture now would it????


    Comment by sassinak — October 9, 2005 @ 9:35 pm | Reply

  17. Uh. Im coming back into this late… but Im checking out the playlist… thanks OKCupid guy!

    Hey, Sass honestly. Heed the word of OKCupid guy and accept a threesome if one should happen to fall into your lap.

    Leaving Sass boinkless is just not nice at all… If that happens, call me. Seriously.

    Comment by Everything nice — October 9, 2005 @ 11:25 pm | Reply

  18. dude i don’t think he meant it… but i have in the past *grin*

    also yeah going into third year of boinklessness… in fact i’m at 2 years and uh 4 months. damm

    that’s pathetic.

    Comment by sassinak — October 10, 2005 @ 12:46 am | Reply

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