snapshots of an idle mind

January 14, 2006

tag tag tag tag

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 1:34 am

there’s a tag hiding in this post:

go read this beautiful post right now. my mother gave me a drawing of my grandfather that makes me feel like that dream matt had does.

check out this awesome quote i read in the letter from the editor in othercat’s latest yoga journal.

“a lot of lip service is given to the concept of self-acceptance in yoga classes. but what does it really mean? it’s not an excuse for behaving badly. Rather, it’s a call to recognize when we’re acting unskillfully, forgive our imperfections, and then find new, wholesome ways of acting. So when we start to blame our significant other for our unhappiness or we despair at our wrinkled visage in the mirror, we need to take responsibility for what we’re feeling and accept conditions for being what they are. In moments when i practice accepting my circumstances, my life becomes a lot more pleasant. Perhaps one day self acceptance will become a habit.”

kathryn arnold – editor – yoga journal

1. technical support
2. carnie
3. program director at a tiny tv station
4. pharmacist’s assistant

1. tank girl
2. gi jane
3. spitfire grill
4. any of the old classics like my fair lady and white christmas and mary poppins and and

1. vancouver
2. rome
3. thunder bay
4. ottawa

1. house
2. gilmore girls
3. one tree hill
4. charmed (wow, i did just admit that)

1. italy
2. florida
3. oregon
4. ireland

1. chocolate
2. breakfast
3. indian
4. sushi

1. sleeping
2. italy
3. :)
4. i like it here

tag: othercat, lsd, elle and bubbles

damm. othercat and i just had the perfect evening. seriously.

i had this crazy day [no really, like my class of THREE in the fall is a class of SIXTEEN now!] and then i went to his place and we had this awesome dinner:

and then we sat around and got mildly trashed and listened to mostly obscure vinyl. it was awesome. we hardly talked all night but we had a really nice time.

and let me tell you that guy has the best music collection ever. in fact i made a list of 16 CDs to borrow and LEFT THEM THERE. geeze. serves me right for rushing out after that last album ended.

thanks for a great evening othercat!



  1. Hey, I’m really glad you liked it. Writing every day (or trying to) has been really good for me.

    I’m getting hungry just looking at that picture! YUM

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 14, 2006 @ 10:53 am | Reply

  2. self acceptance…i would do that more if i just remembered to.

    i’ve got a lot of things in my life i need to make some peace with and just accept already.

    AND…so you were a carnie, were you?

    ummmm…what is that amber pipe-looking situation between the fork and the lighter there in the pic??? i only ask cuz you mention getting mildly trashed and listening to obscure vinyl…

    i dunno. i’m just sayin

    Comment by Jenn! — January 14, 2006 @ 10:56 am | Reply

  3. I like the quote, btw. Something I get out of that is that relating to your self is like any other relationship – it takes work.

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 14, 2006 @ 12:37 pm | Reply

  4. matt…”relating to yourself is like any other relationship”. solid.

    kinda fun to comment on each others comments while sass is gone ;)

    Comment by Jenn! — January 14, 2006 @ 1:39 pm | Reply


    Ohmuhgahhhhh, one of these days I want that story!!!

    Comment by Blondie — January 14, 2006 @ 2:09 pm | Reply

  6. matt: i liked it a lot, i don’t link that many posts. but it really makes me feel the way i felt when mom handed me that drawing. so hey.

    dude othercat can cook. it was all really good food with really light but appropriate seasoning and yum!

    jenn: self acceptance is brutal but always worth working on.

    yup, yup i was.

    it’s a pipe that’s half smoked that’s full of marijuana. what’s it look like? :)

    matt: yeah it’s great isn’t it?

    jenn: :P was takin’ a workshop

    blondie: i WAS!

    and it was FUN! :)

    whaddya wanna know?

    Comment by sassinak — January 14, 2006 @ 4:31 pm | Reply

  7. holy jesus..take out the salmon..and i’m in!!

    word up to the carnie…….do tell!

    Comment by da buttah — January 14, 2006 @ 6:24 pm | Reply

  8. yeah i don’t eat much salmon because of the farming issues but when i eat it i like it. we had designer beer, weed, red breast irish whisky, fresh spinach, basmati rice, salmon and then sweet yellow peppers dipped in hummus for dessert

    AND dark chocolate for an appetizer

    damm it was awesome.

    as for the carnie… geeze what do y’all wanna know?

    Comment by sassinak — January 14, 2006 @ 6:38 pm | Reply

  9. sass, pass the dutchie…then let othercat cook for me too…lord knows i need something to chill me out…hahaha

    what workshop?

    and like, what does a carnie do??? details plz.

    Comment by Jenn! — January 14, 2006 @ 7:16 pm | Reply

  10. Is there anybody who doesn’t have House on their favouritest tv show list? If so, I’ve got a spare 28″ TV in the bedroom if you need one.

    It’s incredible how different people read the same thing and come away with different questions about what they’ve read. For instance, I am more interested in hearing about the program director position.

    And why the heck isn’t Kraft Dinner on your fav foods list?

    Comment by Mike — January 14, 2006 @ 7:48 pm | Reply

  11. i just hate salmon

    and darlin…you said you were a carnie…you said CARNIE, and personified it with you

    that’s enough for all of us to go “ZUH?!!” and want to know more :)

    Comment by da buttah — January 14, 2006 @ 8:29 pm | Reply

  12. I GOT TAGGED!!! I feel so special!

    Ummm. liked the reference to chocolate under the foods you like to eat :)

    I like chocolate to *snicker* But not as much as you like chocolate.

    chocolate. *ahem*

    K, that looks like some kick ass food, and at first I was sure the ‘other utensil’ being caught in the picture was a mistake… but then..


    And you HAVE to know that you didn’t forget your list of 16 cd’s because you rushed honey, it was dessert!!

    Comment by Everything nice — January 14, 2006 @ 9:01 pm | Reply

  13. Jenn: *passes*

    it’s fun hanging with othercat, he played the weirdest but cool music and it was awesome. also some dylan which was also awesome.

    i took an anatomy in clay work shop on the hip today.

    okay i’ll post about it.

    mike: house rocks. hugh laurie is dreamy also.

    oh it was fun, i got to do junior C hockey live and interview politicians and beauty pageant organizers and stuff.

    also town council. very exciting.

    because kraft dinner sucks ass?

    elle: i was a carnie yes… and i was still me. it was great, i played with kids all day and made a killing.

    clearly i’m posting about it.

    bubbles: hush now, i tag everyone randomly. it’s just fun.

    chocolate rocks. i have it for dinner on a regular basis. i’m telling you … nutella and pretzels is the shizzle.

    that utensil is there for clear purpose. APPETITE STIMULANT!


    oh i have the LIST, it’s the CDs i forgot!

    Comment by sassinak — January 14, 2006 @ 10:08 pm | Reply

  14. sass, i don’t know if it was the last pass there or what, but utensil…appetite stimulant…YOWZA!!!

    somebody find me a hot punk kid quick…cuz i need an appetite stimulant something fierce this saturday nite alone…

    (and sad news…my shit is staying in canada…)

    Comment by Jenn! — January 14, 2006 @ 10:33 pm | Reply

  15. jenn that blows. i was just commenting on your blog actually. oh yeah it’s saturday, i work in 9 hours so i forget.

    appetite stimulants are yummy yes.

    Comment by sassinak — January 14, 2006 @ 10:45 pm | Reply

  16. Nice food and nice company. I’m glad you enjoyed the feed. As I was saying, I was disappointed by my lack of effort on this one, but as long as my guest is happy, that’s all that matters.

    One of these days, I’m going to step up to the plate (groan), and try something from the vegetarian cookbook that you got for me. The fake cheesecake has to happen one of these days.

    Comment by othercat — January 14, 2006 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

  17. If you think Hugh Laurie is dreamy, then maybe I have a chance!!! Woo-hoo!!

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 12:33 am | Reply

  18. oc: i loved the feed it was great. simplicity rocks. i don’t see why you’re disappointed, it’s not like i *like* sauce on my food :)

    dude that pun was so bad.

    mmmm fake cheesecake silken chocolatey goodness…

    mike: dude what’s not to like? he’s hot, he has great eyes, he’s sarcastic as fuck and he’s brilliant… AND? he likes motorcycles…

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 9:55 am | Reply

  19. Damn!!! and my quest for s hot chick who’s into really homely guys continues…

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 10:32 am | Reply

  20. You know the only thing that would have made this place setting more perfect? If the plate had been one of those that had a picture of Winnie the Pooh and friends, that gets reveealed as you eat.

    It’s still the only way I’ve found to encourage myself to finish my supper, so I can get some dessert.

    And no more tantrums and having to send myself to bed early!!!

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 10:43 am | Reply

  21. now really what are you doing talking about yourself that way? it just isn’t nice to say such things about yourself…

    winnie the pooh and pot… me likey!

    okay i’m imagining a grown man throwing a tantrum. man that’s a funny mental image.

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 11:02 am | Reply

  22. Well you’d have to cover the Winnie the Pooh picture before you lit up. Or else he’d go telling Christopher Robin.

    Of course if you got high enough you copuld imagine Winnie is having an adventure and got himself into a fix, and he needs the help of Eeyore and Tigger

    And talking about myself that way…well the jokes I made about myself could be considered rude if I said them about someone else…and I have no ego… had I mentioned that? I’m a 7 year old inside the body of a 37-year old.

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 1:11 pm | Reply

  23. And tantrums…I only stamp and yell and hold my breath when I get turned down for sex or on Monday mornings when they tell me to stop running around the office with my arms outstretched and yelling “weeeeeee”, and make me sit down at my desk. My boss has a box of cookies in his drawer though.

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 1:19 pm | Reply

  24. ummmm…mike? will you marry me?

    Comment by Jenn! — January 15, 2006 @ 4:32 pm | Reply

  25. hmmm i want to get married!

    oh! and sass!! crush watch ’06 has passed ;)

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 5:04 pm | Reply

  26. mike: isn’t winnie always having an adventure? i mean even going for a walk somehow turns into an adventure for the pooh bear.

    my old roomie has hugging tigger on her upper right breast actually.

    you have no ego? then why do you call yourself homely?

    regarding tantrums? *lmao*

    jenn: you’ll have to take that up with mike… :)

    elle: no you don’t. well you do but only in an abstract way.

    how did you kill it?

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 5:09 pm | Reply

  27. da buttah…let’s get married too! in an abstract way, of course! you’re funny as shit!

    Comment by Jenn! — January 15, 2006 @ 5:17 pm | Reply

  28. no idea how i killed it


    but..i still like the fucker. just not as hung up on how it turns out. i’ve got a plan

    Jenn–hmmmm, well..i’m all about the ladies ;)

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 5:43 pm | Reply

  29. elle: impressive stuff getting deobsessed that fast.

    that said, getting clarity is good. and i’ve learned that you can be gone on someone AND have clarity and that shit is pretty good. it’s much better than the lost in your head obsessive bullshit. (i’m telling you, it’s all about nat’s burner theory)

    what’s your plan?

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 6:43 pm | Reply

  30. zee plan: text him tomorrow, ask him what his favorite meal is

    if he responds…i’ll say “good..come over thursday for it”

    (i want to cook…been a while…)

    then..on thursday, after he’s fed and had a few the whole “for my own clarification…is this just a sex thing..or blah blah blah”…that was his guard is down (and mine too)..and he’s he’s content :)

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 7:12 pm | Reply

  31. elle: EXCELLENT plan :)

    it’s such a shitty conversation to have but worthy i guess. i never know how to organize those…

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 8:04 pm | Reply

  32. I have a plan. Jen, let’s get married. Only let’s do it right. Let’s all get married in an abstract way giant cyber-union of all of the sarcastic people on the internet. It will be freaky and none of us will get spousal benefits until the governments of both the United States and Canada recognize poly-poly-cyber-based marriages.

    But it will entitle all of us to have sex with each other.

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 8:37 pm | Reply

  33. i’m down mike. bring on the sex!

    Sass: think it’s a decent plan? i’m at a loss for anything else to do..and ya know what? i don’t give a shit….i’ve reached the point of “eh.”

    oh..and before i go and schedule my bastard summer…were y’all serious about nyc?

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 8:48 pm | Reply

  34. i wish i was a casual sex person. i wonder if a poly-poly-cyber-based marriage would squelch my icky in the morning feeling factor.


    elle: i think it’s a good plan. now go ask uncle matt how to do it :)

    i’m serious as a heart attack about nyc. need a few months to get some cash but summer should be okay. do you have date limitations? i prefer june or august… er LATE august.

    jenn? bubbles? anyone else?

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 8:55 pm | Reply

  35. elle: guy’s perspective…

    asking the question “is this just a sex thing” with a predefined value judgement “just a sex thing” is not going to leave him with the ability to say yes. If you want to find out if he only wants a sexual relationship (and I don’t know all the fact here), you need to position it properly. If for instance, he is interested in a relationship, then if you suggest to him that you want your relationship to only be about sex then he will protest. If he says “cool”, then you will know he’s just in it for the sex.

    But if you make it sound like he would be a bastard if he answered yes just a sex relationship, he will have no choice but to lie, and you’ll never truly feel that you know his intentions

    Sorry for butting in.

    Comment by Mike — January 15, 2006 @ 9:13 pm | Reply

  36. so far, my only plan for school..perhaps a part time law job..and bartending

    so i should be okay date wise as long as i have decent enough notice for my professors and for work (if i’m working)

    however, people like to invite me to shit that, in all honesty, i really don’t want to go to (ie engagement party i’m being dragged to in long island in a week) helps to get out of those things with a more concrete excuse than “well i could be working..and i have homework”..ya know?

    UNCLE MATT!! help a sista out yo!

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 9:16 pm | Reply

  37. mike: i agree with you. her intentions are good but her wording is bad.

    elle: he’s linked in my recent finds… go ask him on HIS blog :)

    okay it’s time to write a post about nyc isn’t it?

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 9:20 pm | Reply

  38. haha i think uncle matt thinks i’m a crazy derranged mid twenties female based on my “fuck liking yourself” post :)

    umm yea….totally your call

    if you need location highlights, let me know :) ie. the russian vodka room, nobu, the awesome jazz club i never remember the name off but always is fantastic with relatively cheap alcohol for the area….etc

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 9:22 pm | Reply

  39. mike! NOOO!! butt in!

    i was going to phrase it more as a “for my own sanity, i just kind of want some perspective as how you view this whole thing..”

    which i’m assuming will get a “what do you mean”..and then it goes into the whole “well superficially, it’s seemingly sex..seeing as that’s all we do…but i also know we haven’t hung out much blah blah blah..just wanted to know what your intentions were”

    that’s shitty too?

    fuck!…he still has to accept my gay dinner offer anyway..i got time

    Comment by da buttah — January 15, 2006 @ 9:27 pm | Reply

  40. elle: nah, he’s old enough to know that you’re pretty special for a crazed mid twenties female *grin*

    i’ll post it in the next week or two? suits?

    i always wanted to try nobu and jazz is good anytime. also want to see a show cause i love me some theatre.

    yeah mike, butt in!

    i don’t know how to have that conversation elle, most of my relationships sorta happened when i wasn’t looking so i never really needed to. or it was totally easy, or they brought it up…

    and yeah, that’s shitty too, i know that but i don’t know what you SHOULD say :)

    it’s not gay :P

    Comment by sassinak — January 15, 2006 @ 10:07 pm | Reply

  41. Elle – no, I don’t think you’re crazy. If I didn’t like the cut of your jib, I wouldn’t have posted up on your site like I did.

    If I’m not up to date on what’s going on, lemme know. So…

    So yeah, tough call on your dilemma because it’s soooooo early. Hey, right now – it might be just sex for both of you. I’m all for going with your gut on things – so if it felt right, cool.

    And if you feel really special about someone like you described…here’s what I would do.

    Run with it – don’t squelch it. Trying to avoid your feelings will only hurt you in the long run. Trying to erase the fact that you’re way into someone because you fear getting hurt later is a self fulfilling prophecy.

    Here’s another “what I’d do” – er, or “what I think”. Now is too early to be asking about whether it was just sex or if it’s going to be more. Be there for him, ask him out, get to know what he’s all about, have fun – for a month or two. Maybe three. Then it’s a good idea to ask about where things are going.

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 15, 2006 @ 10:23 pm | Reply

  42. poly-poly-cyber-based sex plz…it’s just so much easier that way…

    and mike…we will be cyber-divorced before we even get poly-cyber-nasty if you don’t know how to properly spell my name yo…j-e-double-n-!

    oh and sass, you can buy the no-icky-in-the-morning-soap from Lush.

    also, late august is looking good for me.

    Comment by Jenn! — January 15, 2006 @ 10:36 pm | Reply

  43. Life in Sass’s comment section

    Elle I think Matt is right. The best thing you can do is to not give him the impression you are worrying about the direction of your relationship. Play it cool (and give me the nasty details). If you feel you absolutely have to know though, don’t let him know you have been thinking about it. The “for my own sanity” line is something that will start making him think you are needy. And then there will be no way to come back from that.

    I’m just giving you a guy’s perspective.

    Jennn: you’ve already got our poly-poly-cyber-based divorce planned? Maybe I’m old fashioned, but maybe we need a pre-nup to decide how to split up the…. electrons.

    Sass: you are obviously old fashioned too. I’ll respect that and wait til we have a real wedding before we have sex. And to make you feel like I’m trying to fit into your life I’ll start climbing the stairs into the bank instead of the wheelchair ramp.

    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 12:03 am | Reply

  44. matt: i figured you thought she rocked. basically if you read the comments of this post you’re up to date.

    i like your advice actually but what does she do with the whole wide open heart while she waits to see which way he’s swinging?

    like can she at least ask if he’s sleeping with someone else?

    i TOTALLY agree on the run with it thing by the way.

    jenn: too much ick factor for me. it’s a squick thing. i’m all having to be into someone to boink them. although i fully respect the idea of poly it does NOT work for me. i’m an alpha bitch and i like alpha males. we don’t share well.

    also i can’t make it in the door at lush, the smell drives me across the street. WAY too much perfume and my head would ache for a week.

    i’d love to get in the door at lush, i hear those bath bombs rock but i’d have to find one with basically no scent…

    late august okay
    anyone have any no way weekends?

    no august 12th, it’s my birthday and i’ll be hanging ’round here. may have a large bash with tents though… and probably not 18-20 cause of summerfolk

    so that leaves? [i can miss summerfolk but i don’t really want to…]

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 12:03 am | Reply

  45. I need a life.

    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 12:06 am | Reply

  46. this is fully weird. my recent comments SEES a comment from mike that starts: “life in sass’ comments section” but it doesn’t show up here or on the post…

    blogger why do you tease with the comments???

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 12:14 am | Reply

  47. As a man, I wouldn’t mind being asked if I’m seeing someone else – but only in those terms.

    Asked bluntly if I’m having sex with other girls…early on in a relationship…that’d send up alarm bells.

    Take it slow. What I told my wife (back when she was my gf) early and often was, “If I’m here, it means I’m interested. If I’m interested, it means I’m going to stick around a while. If I’m going to stick around a while, what’s the rush?”.

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 16, 2006 @ 12:25 am | Reply

  48. matt: i love the not rushing. the slow getting to know you thing. the time when the inside of someone’s elbow is like the most fascinating thing ever. when you just groove on someone cause you know there will be more grooving time to come and you have no need to hurry.

    man that’s the best.

    so it’s okay to say ‘are we seeing other people?’ but it’s not okay to say ‘do you mind if i sleep with that guy at the gym?’ and it’s less okay to say ‘are you sleeping with that girl in your class?’


    mike: my comments section has taken on a life of it’s own, i’m afraid to post again :)

    for my sanity is a shitty line… but ‘are we reserving our genitals for each other until further notice’ one also doesn’t work well somehow. and frankly if i’m sleeping with someone i want to know i’m the only uh.. inkwell.

    can i arbitrate the cyber divorce?

    yes, i found out ages ago that, in spite of myself, i’m a nice girl. it’s really annoying but whatfuckingever.

    you’re going to climb stairs? wow.
    it’s okay to stop and rest half way up you know?

    *ducks and runs*

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 12:32 am | Reply

  49. Yes.




    Comment by Matt Vella — January 16, 2006 @ 12:43 am | Reply

  50. *lmao*

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 12:43 am | Reply

  51. wait
    so it IS okay to ask if he minds if i sleep with the gym at the gym? hrm… i didn’t phrase that question clearly…

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 1:18 am | Reply

  52. “so it’s okay to say ‘are we seeing other people?'”

    yes, this is fair game for sure.

    “but it’s not okay to say ‘do you mind if i sleep with that guy at the gym?'”

    it’s ok, but um…don’t expect the dude to stick around after you ask.

    “and it’s less okay to say ‘are you sleeping with that girl in your class?'”

    yes, it is less ok. at least early on – maybe it’s happening, but if you’re not in a relationship per se (and you don’t want to chase the dude off) – why bait the bear?

    again, TAKE YOUR TIME. do not attempt to corner the male. he is hungry, horny and confused – almost ALL THE TIME. putting him on the spot makes him react in unpredictable (read: undesirable) ways.

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 16, 2006 @ 1:36 am | Reply

  53. oh man you’re funny. (thanks btw)

    okay elle have we covered it for you? or do you need more?

    i have to say the taking your time thing is totally true. it’s fun let it be. that said, you do want to know just what kind of risks you’re taking when you sleep with this guy so ‘are we seeing other people’ is definetely the way to go :)

    hungry… mmmm food *grin*

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 2:07 am | Reply

  54. I’m going to be late just for writing this, but Matt said something there, the hungry horny comment, that made me think. I’l have to wait til I get home to write about it though


    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 7:37 am | Reply

  55. hungry and horny

    that’s why i’m feeding him and doing him

    c’mon people!

    thanks a lot for your help y’all. i’ve been out of the dating game so long i’m 23 and i have no idea what the fuck is going on in it.

    much love :)

    Comment by da buttah — January 16, 2006 @ 7:58 am | Reply

  56. oh! and the reason i’m so unsure what to do and went to do ’cause the last guy actually thought we were dating/in a relationship for like three months..when i thought it was just a sex thing.

    i don’t want that to happen again ’cause i ended up getting suckered into sticking around and trying to make it work for way longer than i should have, given the fact he was an ass bastard dickhead.

    but, i guess i’ll just go with the flow..see what happens..and not say anything/ask anything. just take it for what it is: nothing, right now.

    like i said thanks…and uhh sorry i had to double up on the post things..i’m a tard when i haven’t had my morning caffine pill!

    Comment by da buttah — January 16, 2006 @ 8:49 am | Reply

  57. mike: soare you going to keep us in suspense?

    elle: it’s not always wise to do them right away but i didn’t learn that for a long time AND i think it’s a lot harder when you’re in school to take your time. don’t really know why that is.

    nobody knows what the fuck is going on dude, we’ve just been around the block more times than you have *grin*

    i can’t imagine people not being into you since you seem pretty awesome and i can see that you being convinced you’re unlikeable would combine to get you into that sort of trouble semi regular like.

    you are allowed to ask about seeing other people and frankly i wouldn’t say that’s a bad idea at all … i mean if nothing else you want to protect yourself from disease.

    double all you like, my comments broke 50 on a SUNDAY! :)

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 10:03 am | Reply

  58. I’m avoiding the new comment section in the new post. Those people are WEIRD!!!! Talking about lats and delts and obliques and quads and lifting things up and down for no reason…they are weird.

    OK, was thinking about the Elle thing. OK something is wrong in my life when I spend my break at work thinking about something from someone’s blog comment section.

    I was thinking about how we guys tend to look at women almost like a buffet. Imagine a wonderful buffet of beautiful looking food, from every country and culture, and you are starving. You are allowed to sample everything but you are only allowed to fill your plate from one dish, so you taste the different choices until you find one you really like. Then you take the sample into your mouth, allow the flavour to fill your mouth, and you slowly chew and savour it, while you decide if this is what you want to pick as the one dish you will choose to eat from. With all of the choices though, if at any time that sample has a hint of sourness or something displeasing, it will be spit out and more samples will be tried.

    (I’m eating salad with goat-cheese and balsamic dressing as I write)

    The point is Elle that you need to keep being that tasty beautiful person he met and decided he wanted to get to know. Until you reach a point where you are confident that you can start making demands without driving him away, don’t. When we start seeing someone, we have illusions that they are as beautiful and perfect inside as they are outside. But none of us are perfect and we all have our little crazy traits that we try to hide. If you want him, you have to keep the illusion going as long as possible. If you let him see your neuroses too soon, he will bolt. Don’t get me wrong, we all have similar neoroses.

    Then once you have your hooks on him you can rip his manhood into pieces until he doesn’t even remember who he is anymore.

    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 6:56 pm | Reply

  59. Oh dear, who wrote all that rubbish and signed my name to it?

    Actually I have a second metaphor, about a candy-coated pill, but I decided one was enough.

    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 7:01 pm | Reply

  60. i can’t believe that i’m the SIXTIETH comment on this post. gotta love talking about relationships :)

    mike: i’d avoid it too… people are passing around weight lifting tips and other creepy things.

    dude if it makes you feel any better i think about blogging alla time.

    anyway i can totally see the metaphor you’re making and i utterly disagree with it. this may explain some of my dating problems. now in terms of asking a guy if you’re exclusive i agree with the prevailing opinion in the comments here BUT

    what i don’t agree with is the basic premise that she should pretend to be someone she isn’t. if she’s cranky or mad or not her happy bouncy beautiful self she should do that. i mean i don’t want someone to fall in love with a personality i’m projecting i want them to fall in love with ME. me with my warts and everything. and if you’re not into me enough to get over the fact that (for example) my brain loses the ability to track when i’m exhausted then chances are you aren’t into me enough.

    i’d rather be myself and alone than pretend to be someone i’m not and dating. i’m more likely to fall for the man i am most myself with than the one i think is the prettiest though so…

    (salad sounds awesome)

    hiding yourself seems a recipe for disaster to me.

    maybe there’s a happy medium?

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 8:32 pm | Reply

  61. well, the thing about it is not so much a matter of acting like or unlike yourself. But people do act differently after they are in a relationship, and the jealousy and control things come into play. Sometimes those things can manifest themselves in ugly ways, in ways that may make the other person wonder what happened to the wonderful person they met.

    So to boil it all down, mqaybe it’s best to keep the jealousy and control things under control at first… and I guess after that too.

    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 10:00 pm | Reply

  62. let’s keep the comments going on this post…where’d everyone go?

    Comment by Mike — January 16, 2006 @ 10:33 pm | Reply

  63. well yeah it’s hard to be yourself and live with someone else. you naturally take on things of theirs just from exposure. so you change each other by meeting each other.

    unfortunately communication is hard and intimacy is scary and telling the truth is scarier. but i think it’s important to try.

    jealousy and control are bad ideas though most of us fall victim to that crap on occasion.

    dunno but i’m enjoying it.

    Comment by sassinak — January 16, 2006 @ 11:58 pm | Reply

  64. bedtime.

    You’rte just having fun watching the numbers go up. It’s OK. Even if it’s just you and me, I’m sure we’ll hit 100 in a few days.

    Comment by Mike — January 17, 2006 @ 12:13 am | Reply

  65. night dude

    i am having fun. also i think it’s an interesting conversation and i’m sad elle and matt left.

    Comment by sassinak — January 17, 2006 @ 12:58 am | Reply

  66. I know, Elle was the reason that we were discussing this, is she still checking this out to hear all of our bad advice?

    And what happened to Jenn? Oh well, we may have to accept the death of this comment section. So sad…but we’ll have our memories, right?

    Comment by Mike — January 17, 2006 @ 7:02 am | Reply

  67. mike: i suppose… but it’s sad since we’re not far off my record :)

    Comment by sassinak — January 17, 2006 @ 2:09 pm | Reply

  68. I’ll miss you sass…….

    Comment by Mike — January 17, 2006 @ 4:44 pm | Reply

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