snapshots of an idle mind

January 31, 2006

different takes…

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 8:45 pm

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i’m freaking exhausted right now so i can’t speak as to how much sense the following post will make… but i owe you guys a post so.

as y’all know i headed out visiting this weekend which is always fun but. my god did i ever miss my ridiculously expensive and overly comfortable bed. don’t get me wrong, there was nothing wrong with the sleeping space provided to me it just wasn’t my tragically expensive bed with the wonderful flannel sheets that were a gift from my sister.

mix in too much caffeine (seriously java chip ice cream from STARBUCKS at 3am is not a wise move when you’re caffeine sensitive) and funny house noises and you get a recipe for a sass who’s really fucking tired when she gets home on monday after a nice six hour drive.

the good news? my slippy clutch made it okay and i didn’t fall asleep on the drive home. this was in fact a potential risk along about 9:30am. in fact i was sleepy enough that i stopped at *blush* mcdonalds for breakfast and coffee.

aside: STAY AWAY from the biscuits at mcd’s in the states. man those things are vile and disgusting. the egg mcmuffin proved safe but that biscuit thingy? man *shudder* it was bad. like picked off the egg and dumped the biscuit bad.

anyway i had all these grandiose plans about sleeping early last night but then i ended up closing the climbing gym and dropping by hubris’ place on the way home and then my neighbour wanted to gossip about his weekend and boys and then i had to gossip about my weekend and so on and so on and suddenly it has half past one and my eight hours of sleep had become 7 if i fell asleep RIGHT NOW!

which i didn’t do.

i did get an excellently restful six and a half hours which caused me to wander around in a daze all day today and yawn at everyone but i’m teaching good classes and i’m in a great mood so they’re not too upset about the yawning.

i’m a little worried though because in two minutes flat i have to leave for a session with the goddess and i can’t swear i’ll stay awake through it. what’s funny is that i’m really, really tired but i’m in a fantastic mood.

no dudes fantastic. i had a client that ‘wanted to talk’ and i was all “oh shit…” and it turns out that he wanted PRIVATE lessons and had no beef. in fact he’s feeling much better since he started my classes and i got hit on at the climbing gym and chatted up by some guys who hadn’t bothered to talk with me before and i had a great talk with my mom who called 20 minutes after i walked in the door yesterday from my drive and i think i’ve decided that my clutch will make it whether it wants to or not and that the universe will unfold as it should because, you know? it tends to. in fact i feel free.

amazing what a few days in someone else’s life will do to give you perspective on your own.
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god james blunt rocks my world.
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so yeah it’s funny. i go see rr and she puts me back together and i resent it. i’m like ‘stop making me hurt this much my body works FINE dammit!’ and then i go back to killing myself to move some obscure body part an inch or two. we did make some fantastic progress today though and i got a lot of homework to take me through until the next time i get a private with her.

looks to be a while since all my disposable income is tied up in things like rent and buying a clutch. the good news? the homework i got is long term and will take a while so it’s all right that she has no space for me again for a bit.

i don’t need her nearly as much as most folks that see her do so i’m okay with being fit in when regulars go on vacation. in some ways once a week is too often because the work that we do is so deep and strange that it takes a while to take and implement.
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so. i’ve taught my last eight thirty am class on a sunday and i didn’t even know it. i got replaced as of february first and my boss didn’t even tell me. she stuck it on the door of the studio on a poster instead.

don’t misunderstand, i totally wanted to drop the class but i wanted to get to tell them that this was happening. i didn’t want it to be a poster on the door. these people are loyal to me and have faithfully shown up at 8:30am on sundays for well over a year because of me.

there should have been announcing and not door postering.

maybe that’s just me?
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do you ever have the experience of being so alien in a world that all you can really do is sit around and observe it? you’ll dip the proverbial toe in the water but you can’t dive in because you haven’t even learned to wade in that pond?

god i love water, even in metaphor.

anyway i had the pleasure of watching (as part of a larger group) a man i know well interact with his ex and incidentally watching her react to me. funnily i saw a lot of my younger self in her and it made me so relieved not to be in my twenties anymore i can’t even tell you.

she is as clearly not over him as he is clearly over her and yet they’re both doing this dance around each other thing. she reminds me of a moth dancing around a flame and yet he’s clearly no longer willing to be her light so she just keeps burning herself. frankly i think she’d be better off if she stopped hanging out with him altogether, it actually made me kind of sad.

the part that was intriguing for me was watching this woman respond to me… i’m pretty sure she knows who i am AND that he isn’t into me that way and yet she spent the entire evening warning me off and marking territory that is no longer hers. irony is that if he WERE into me that way and we had been planning to hook up i think this would have pushed us closer together and thus accomplished the opposite of what she wanted. [for the record she was quite friendly, just marking territory… i in no way want to imply rudeness or meanness from her]

right so, since i am not part of that group i was free to do a lot of sitting in the corner unnoticed or solitary dart playing or whatever and just observe which is not something that usually happens when i’m in a situation where i’m familiar with the players.

usually i’m a member of the group too and it’s harder to observe dispassionately. so i learned a lot about human behaviour in that particular few hours of my life and it brings home to me ever more the idea that if a guy isn’t going to ask me out i’m not going to chase him.

i’ll make myself available for chasing… i’ll wear hot clothes and hang out but i’m not making moves. you can have my number but i won’t take yours.

why?

because i’m a hell of a handful and i’m pretty sure that if a guy can’t muster up the balls to ask for my number or a date or make a move then well… he probably can’t keep up with me anyway. there’s more to it though. somehow it seems like if you make yourself easy they don’t want you.

actually i think that has a lot to do with the kind of woman that i am. i’m difficult and challenging and opinionated but i’m perfectly willing to compromise if you’re willing to tell me what you want. what i am not is willing to try and be psychic while figuring out what you want.

my ex was so unaware of what he wanted that it was impossible to get along with him. hell it was even hard to cook for him, he’d tell me after i served him ‘oh i don’t like blah’ when i had JUST SAID that i was cooking that.

*hee* pushed one of my own buttons right there.

anyway the point is that to date me you have to have balls. you just do. i’m the type who will push and push until i hit something unyielding. and i *like* the unyielding you see. course i do also appreciate willingness to compromise and to hear my side of things but.

give me an inch and i’ll take a mile if you let me.

[and yes, i get that this is also a recipe for continuing to make friends out of men that i want. but you know what? if they want me back i’m sure we can figure something out…]
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gah this post doesn’t feel done but wtf.

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49 Comments »

  1. ooo! first comment!! SHWING!

    i always have that experience of being alien. that’s what i do..i sit and watch everything. there are very few people in this world that i truly know, and around them..i’m amidst it all…but otherwise? i keep to myself, which for some reason shocks people. shocks people that i’m not this attention whore either. what worries me is that sometimes i get that alien feeling when i’m with my family…but even that’s my own fault..so whatever.

    glad to see you’re in such good spirits darlin! and i totally agree with your tao-o-dating. you are a force to be rekoned with, and if he can’t even muster the guts to ask for a phone number or a date, then he’s really got nothing to bring to your table.

    there is such a thing as making it to easy, and to be honest, everyone enjoys the thrill of the hunt. not a hunt that leads to nothing, but a mini hunt..a hunt that lets you know “i worked for this, and i got it”…it’s self-satisfying..even if something as petty as getting someones phone number.

    that said, when it’s all said and done it’s always about knowing when to compromise and knowing when to steamplow through and take no prisoners. it’s finding that delicate balance that is the source of all inter-personal relations.

    ps: friends are always better than a potential fling. if it’s meant to be, it’ll be….

    Comment by da buttah — January 31, 2006 @ 9:44 pm | Reply

  2. You ate breakfast food at McDonalds? What are you, high?

    Comment by R. U. Serious — January 31, 2006 @ 10:59 pm | Reply

  3. Sass – Sounds like you learned a hell of a lot over the course of the weekend – and I’m really, really glad to see you in such good spirits.

    :)

    Buttah – don’t feel alone in the feeling somewhat alien with your own family. No, it’s not your fault – it’s pretty natural. Try not to get too caught up in it, though.

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 31, 2006 @ 11:05 pm | Reply

  4. Buttah – PS – last two paragraphs – yeah, what you said.

    Comment by Matt Vella — January 31, 2006 @ 11:07 pm | Reply

  5. elle: ^5 on the first comment!

    yeah i can be alien in the middle of a group of my favourite people in the world for sure, it’s just harder to be dispassionate at the same time. in this case i was both alien and removed which is what made it so interesting. even moreso because i had background knowledge without really knowing anyone.

    dude i’m in a great mood… work is good, life is good, boys are dropping out of the woodwork, what’s not to like? i’m a force to be reckoned with. nice.

    yeah i think you’re right. i’m not an easy person, why should i be easy to date? my mom would tell me to change and be less difficult but then she’s her and i’m me :)

    yeah i’m not so good at the steamplow thing i’m much better at just letting go.

    re your ps you are correct. forcing things has never worked and will never work either.

    RUS: i was passing out and desperate and FUCK is breakfast ever better at mcdonalds in canada. the food is actually kind of tasty here.

    and no, i’m not high, i ran out last wednesday.

    matt: i did learn a lot this weekend. it’s really fun visiting other people’s lives/worlds/cultures because it teaches you about your own.

    and yeah i feel the most alien with my family sometimes but i love them the more for it.

    and re your second comment? yeah what she said :)

    Comment by sassinak — January 31, 2006 @ 11:17 pm | Reply

  6. Wow, awesome metaphors in this post. Especially liked the moth to a flame. Reminds me of a couple I know.

    You sound so happy and I’m so glad for you!

    Comment by Sign Gurl — January 31, 2006 @ 11:25 pm | Reply

  7. OK…so first…so very happy that you are back… Yaay!

    Also, dude, you are in an awesome mood and that just rocks…you are radiating loads of happiness even through the computer. So this whole taking time off is sooo worth it.

    Sounds like stuff is great and you are totally pumped about life in general…yaay indeed.

    And so with you on the not being THAT girl who has THAT reaction in THAT situation. I am indeed happy to be older and wiser. I don’t throw myself at men and find it so horrible to witness when other women do, especially when the man is clearly not interested. Sad. One wishes one could just freeze everyone but the clueless girl and give her some advice. But then again, she might not get it. Some things take learning from experience for some.

    Damn I am verbosing again.

    I am just happy you are back safely and feeling so good :)

    -N

    Comment by Natalia — January 31, 2006 @ 11:33 pm | Reply

  8. signgurl: thanks dude, i do love my metaphors :)

    i am really happy, thanks. i feel blessed.

    nat: thanks nat. it’s tragic how much i missed you guys and this blog. and i’m SO behind since i’m invoicing tonight and can’t read any of them.

    yeah i’m in a great mood. i hit my pre accident weight last week and on monday morning i happened to be wearing girly pink undies and a girly bra and i looked down at myself and uh… yeah hot. i was stunned it was great (i don’t usually wear undies but when you’re sleeping in alternate bed it’s only polite so i hadn’t seen myself in them in ages). it’s tragic how happy that makes me.

    oh man i used to be that girl. i used to follow people around like a dog begging to be let into a pack. not so much anymore though.

    i had the same wish, funny isn’t it?

    verbose on please!

    *huggs* i missed you too!

    Comment by sassinak — January 31, 2006 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

  9. I agree that you shouldn’t throw yourself at a guy. But don’t be afraid to assert yourself and make your feelings known. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there, even if it means getting the answer you didn’t want.

    I’m frickin’ awesome ( ;) ), and it took me a long time and a girl who wasn’t too shy to make the first move to help me realize it.

    Comment by Matt Vella — February 1, 2006 @ 12:01 am | Reply

  10. matt: you know it’s not that i’m not willing to do that sort of thing but there’s usually underlying body language.

    you know, like say your feet touch when you’re hanging out and he always always moves away. why would you bother pursuing that? the body language is clear.

    i get that your wife made a move on you, but don’t you think you had allowed the opening to form?

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 12:17 am | Reply

  11. Hmmm, good point. Yes, body language is huge.

    We had a class together…we always made sure to get a seat where we could ogle one another.

    Guy / girl friendships are good – but if attraction is there on one side or another – it can be so hard to figure things out. I guess it’s a toss up between closure and – not closure.

    Glad to hear you’re not against taking a crack at it where applicable. And please don’t hate uncle Matt for suggesting taking a crack at it. :)

    Comment by Matt Vella — February 1, 2006 @ 12:27 am | Reply

  12. PS – pink undies and girlie bra…

    Sigh.

    Comment by Matt Vella — February 1, 2006 @ 12:28 am | Reply

  13. matt: that’s what i’m sayin’ dude. sometimes you gotta read the signs. and sometimes you get them wrong but really that’s okay too.

    but see you did create an opening that she was smart enough to walk through. or when she created one you went with it. some people never open the door.

    it’s never fun to figure out if an attractive potential is into you or not… but it’s better than wondering. i still say the worst is when you’re sure they’re into you and yet you know that nothing will ever come of it.

    hey i can’t hate uncle matt, he gives fantastic advice for one thing.

    yeah dude… and the bra was lavender :)

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 12:36 am | Reply

  14. I think the reason it tastes better in Canada relates to the higher quality of the weed.

    Comment by R. U. Serious — February 1, 2006 @ 1:35 am | Reply

  15. rus: maybe. here it tastes like food and there it tastes like hmmm plastic a little.

    it’s very odd.

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 6:04 am | Reply

  16. I usually like to open the door just a crack (great metaphor by the way) and watch to see if she comes to take a peek inside before letting her in, then take it from there.
    It’s so easy to open the door all the way and invite the girl in, or to just come out and make your intentions known to her (using part of sass’s analogy, to ask for her number), but it’s much more exciting and rewarding for both in the long run to do the hint and watch for reaction thing.
    It feels like both people were involved in it, and later when you’re both comfortable, you can look back on it and joke about the hints you made to the other, and how you think she was never going to get your hint, and so on.

    It’s a period in a relationship that only comes once, and if you just come out and say “I like you, let’s go out”, then sure you might get what you want but there’s less of the fun anticipation that can heighten the excitement for bot people when you finally do get together.

    OK I’m really tired, going on 5 and a half hours sleep, and I have to run so I can’t proofread, hope what I said makes sense.

    Comment by Mike — February 1, 2006 @ 6:09 am | Reply

  17. great post…i am(was) also that moth that keeps getting burned from flying into the hot lightsource, and marking territory…hahaha, so that would make me a winged canine.

    hmmm…much like being a sagittarius?

    anyhoo, i love that you had a good time while you were gone, and that you’re now back, metaphoric and happy.

    Comment by Jenn! — February 1, 2006 @ 9:46 am | Reply

  18. Sass – :)

    Comment by Matt Vella — February 1, 2006 @ 10:16 am | Reply

  19. Welcome back, Sass! I’m glad to hear that uh, there was good -s-

    Your mood is infectious.

    I agree with Mike on the open the door a crack and then wait to see the reactions… and it is dance or a game or whatever but it’s a natural part of mating and courtship and such. Except sometimes I am so unsure of myself in these situations that I need a kind of bigger crack (or generally speaking, I need HIS reactions to be somehow larger than mine). And the body language is usually the best indicator so I go with that a lot too.

    So welcome back and get some rest and just generally yay!

    Comment by JMai — February 1, 2006 @ 10:36 am | Reply

  20. mike: thanks! that’s basically what i do too. because you’re right, the dance is fun and in a lot of ways you build stronger relationships when you do a dance like that rather than just invite them straight in. the only problem with the dance is that some people like to do the dance but they don’t actually open the door behind it and getting led on sucks total ass.

    so yeah i hear what you’re saying and i agree with it… but sometimes i wonder if people miss each other’s signals. course if they do maybe they shouldn’t be dating anyway?

    i do admit that the beginning is the magic so yeah :)

    yeah it made sense.

    jenn: true dat. at least you’ve decided to close your eyes to it somewhat at this point? you and she have a lot in common it seems.

    i confess that i don’t really get this idea of marking people as yours. if they love you they’re yours freely and if they don’t all the holding in the world won’t get them to stay.

    hey you know me… i like metaphors and parables *grin*

    matt: ;)

    JM: hey it’s always good. i had a good time and i came home refreshed and feeling free. that shit is cool.

    glad to be infectious with happy, much better than infectious with blahs *grin*

    yeah i agree with mike too. so far i’ve not asked men out and yet i’ve had relationships and even been married. i do sort of think i’ve forgotten the dance though. the last few times i’ve thought people were into me they never actually were.

    yeah the larger thing is totally me. you sort of have to hit me over the head with it for me to see it. funny cause other times i’ll see it when it isn’t there.

    ah well.

    *hug*

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 12:29 pm | Reply

  21. Body language…it’s critical and a great way to read someone

    but it’s also a great way to get trapped, i think. sometimes you read wrong

    or maybe that’s just me!

    Comment by da buttah — February 1, 2006 @ 12:33 pm | Reply

  22. If I want breakfast, I’ll hit Cracker Barrel. Not only do I like the food, I always found the word “cracker” funny.

    Comment by R. U. Serious — February 1, 2006 @ 12:39 pm | Reply

  23. It may not feel done but damn, I think this is an awesome post…

    Comment by green_hedonist — February 1, 2006 @ 1:12 pm | Reply

  24. elle: yeah dude it totally is.

    i’ve read wrong when it’s favourable… is in thought they were into me when they weren’t. but thinking someone isn’t into me? i tend to get that right. but yeah, i can read wrong for sure… still and all if they pull away when they touch you by accident? easy sign to read.

    oh man you’re talking to the queen of the unrequited crush elle *g*

    rus: thanks for the tip, next time i’m on the road i’ll look for one. any others? :)

    hubris: thanks man!

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 2:17 pm | Reply

  25. This post has been removed by the author.

    Comment by grehangelist — February 1, 2006 @ 2:31 pm | Reply

  26. OOHHHh….RUS…so i wanted to comment on your comments about places to eat…(lame comment following…hahaha) but i used to live in Guelph, Ontario and dude…there is totally a restaurant called R U Serious…hahaha…never went there cuz the name made me wonder if that’s what i would say after they brought my entree to me…but i just couldn’t resist sharing that deeply lame bit o’guelphian trivia with you…particulary cuz you like the word cracker…hehe

    sass: i would suggest never going there. my best suggestion for fast food, other than dont eat it, is stick with timmy’s.

    Comment by Jenn! — February 1, 2006 @ 2:32 pm | Reply

  27. jenn: there are no timmy’s in michigan dude and it was mcd’s or pass out and die.

    i love that apollo diner downtown in guelph for breakfast :)

    and who the hell is grehangelist and why are they deleting comments on my blog?

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 2:36 pm | Reply

  28. i’m pretty decent at the body language, i guess.

    i knew the exact moment the last guy i dated lost interest in me completely.

    i knew the exact moment when my ex started fucking someone on the side…and i knew fairly quickly after i broke up with him….that he regretted it to some extent and knew he made a mistake in choosing her…(dumping me was a good move on his part…and i really believe that…seriously)

    but sometimes? it’s tough. and all these bastard magazine out there aren’t helping! cosmo with their “how do you know he likes you–a look at his body language” articles…yea..guys aren’t dumb. they read it, they know if they do x, y, and z, they’ll give the impression that they like the chick..get what they want etc

    hehe look at me go! elle…law student by day, romantic conspiracy theorist by night.

    haha, i’ll shut up now :)

    Comment by da buttah — February 1, 2006 @ 5:09 pm | Reply

  29. sass: hanging my head in shame…i’ve been outed once more. yes, yes…i am grehangelist…was just a stupid nic for my idol SugarDaddy (you prolly remember me blogging about him a while back). i wanted to post anonymously on his blog, but blogger makes you get a user name…i chose that one to make him smile..its a play on his name.

    goddam, i am feeling completely naked these days.

    sorry bout the deletion…i posted before i signed out of that identity..then i noticed it…

    ok.

    Comment by Jenn! — February 1, 2006 @ 5:16 pm | Reply

  30. Hi Sass, someone sent me, can’t remember who, but it’s fun here and I’m staying until you kick me out for being too drunk and showing you my armpits. Or it closes and the lights come on.

    I’m with a great guy now and these things always seem easier when you’ve already got them, but I’m of the “life’s too short” philosophy. If I’m sure I’m interested, I’ll do the asking, jumping in with both Docs. Otherwise I kick myself, and that hurts after a few times when you’re into steel toes.

    Cheers,
    Joanna

    Comment by jo_jo — February 1, 2006 @ 5:22 pm | Reply

  31. Michigan. That’s where I sent my ex-fiance to visit her family (gave her $500 + $150 for the trip), and she never came back. So I want to beat up Michigan. I’m glad that you had a nice time though :-)

    As far as your comment Sass, on what happens when signals get missed, I know from my own personal experience that it’s fairly common. Interesting thing is that it always seems like there are women who I haven’t felt anything for, and when they send me signals those seem crystal clear.

    But it’s the ones I’m really into whose signals I seem to miss. And the worst… the worst, the thing that sucks balls is when I’m really into someone and trying to take it slowly, and she misreads that as indecision or lack of interest, and before I know it I have lost her.

    Comment by Mike — February 1, 2006 @ 5:36 pm | Reply

  32. elle: i always seem to be able to tell when things are dying. in fact my sex drive notices before anything else does. which weird i know :)

    i think that when you love someone you pay attention to them and in the course of that paying attention you sometimes learn things that you don’t really want to know. like (for example) that they’re not in love with you… or that their dick is slipping into someone else and thus they aren’t horny anymore. or that your friend’s husband is after you or or or.

    it’s funny you say that because if I was a guy i would totally read magazines like cosmo to figure chicks out. when i was a teen i read GQ but that may have been more for the pictures *grin*

    jenn: no worries… i just get weirded when someone i’ve never met leaves a deleted comment on my blog. so i was curious :)

    you hang your head for no reason, stand TALL woman.

    jo jo: welcome to snapshots. since i post drunk on a regular basis i really can’t imagine getting offended at anything you do :)

    that said? i teach pilates so i make people feel up my armpits on a regular basis!

    you know sometimes i’m sure i’m interested and i’m just as sure that they aren’t. when a man avoids touching you chances are he doesn’t want to boink you. so i decide not to move. if the body language was there i would jump.

    mike: oh man are you serious? that fucking BLOWS dude. i mean how rude to take your money AND leave you. least she could have paid for herself.

    i did have a nice time actually but if you like i’m willing to coach you while you beat up michigan?

    yeah it’s easy to read signals when you aren’t into someone… but even if you are you can usually tell when they aren’t. it all comes down to touching. if i’m into someone and our legs brush? i leave my leg there. if i’m not? i move my leg.

    pretty clear right?

    but yeah the really into ones are brutal. good news though? if she also likes taking it slow you’ll be fine :)

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 5:48 pm | Reply

  33. You’d coach me in giving Michigan a right good pounding? OK from now on I’m gonna call you Coach.

    Not always easy to find someone who’s cool with taking it slow though. Sometimes going slowly and doing the door opening just a crack thing can lead to confusion and then you just have to come out and say “OK then” and spell it out. For some reason I’ve always found that part easier to do by e-mail. Part of me is a chickenshit I guess.

    I was going to comment on a few other parts of your post but I have been having computer issues so I’ll send now.

    Comment by Mike — February 1, 2006 @ 7:35 pm | Reply

  34. just poppin in and browsing, had a rough couple of days so will come back and actually READ the posts later in the week! Hope your having fun…

    Comment by debambam — February 1, 2006 @ 8:44 pm | Reply

  35. ya know?

    my best friends always hang out at gay bars when they don’t want to deal with women drama..and they said picking up on subtle things they do that make woman feel comfortable has done wonders for their game.

    that, and i told them to watch sex in the city if they want to know what woman want…they said that helps to.

    so i ask! where is this guide for women?!! why is there no window for us, like those assbastards get?!

    Comment by da buttah — February 1, 2006 @ 8:49 pm | Reply

  36. You ate at McDonalds? I’d rather scrape something off of a 4 lane in the middle of rush hour than polute myself with that shit. This coming from a guy who ate at Huddle House tonight (2 eggs over easy, ham, grits, hashbrowns, a biscuit and 5 cups of coffee). The waitress even showed me nipple several times while pouring coffee. I guess she thought that “the guy in the black suit and spiky hair” was going to tip more. LOL.

    I’ve quit the fast food stuff. I get a set amount for food daily (7 for breakfast, 10 for lunch, 16 for dinner) and if I eat the hotel breakfast (cereal or waffles) I can splurge at dinner.

    Get this. Murphy, NC (where I’m now working) has no beer. They don’t sell if, if you want beer you have to drive all of the way to freaking Alexander to get it! You can bring your own wine in a bottle to restaurants, they sell booze (1 booze store in the county) and you can get wine everywhere but if you’re totally jonesing for a cerveza they you’re SOL.

    Comment by castufari — February 1, 2006 @ 8:52 pm | Reply

  37. Elle, your friends lie. Women are impossible to figure out. Women are like these little toy eggs I saw once on Star Trek. You can pore over them, you can spend weeks trying to figure them out. It’s impossible.

    However like the Star Trek thingies, if you touch them in the right place in the right way they open right up and then….OK this is an incredibly lousy metaphor.

    But the secret to getting a guy interested and keep him interested? Don’t be easy to get. Deny him sex for the first little while so he knows you are in charge of playtime. Then occasionally deny him sex for a few days. The best way to keep him wanting you is to keep him WANTING you.

    Comment by Mike — February 1, 2006 @ 9:30 pm | Reply

  38. mike: you’re gonna call me coach? really? am i expected to respond?

    hey taking it slow is fantastic, it’s just nice to know if someone is interested a little. i’ve never understood the rush into sex, i mean hell when the inner elbow is fascinating you may as well play with that right? course i’m kinda old fashioned about that sorta stuff.

    now i want to know what else you were going to say.

    deb: heya. i’ll check your blog and see what you have to say then. sad to hear you had a rough couple of days, i’m doing really well actually.

    elle: i live in the gay village which implies gayness in a lot of people. but yeah gay bars are way nicer to hang out in than straight ones. the music is better too.

    hrm… guide for women… uh trailer park boys?

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 10:04 pm | Reply

  39. cast: in canada the breakfast is actually delicious. my little italian aunt even loves the egg mcmuffins. however… in the us? total crap.

    hey you got nipple! ^5

    what is this 7/10/16 you speak of? dollars? i eat whatever the fuck i want and maybe 5 times a year i want mcdonalds french fries and i eat them. but i exercise like 20 hours a week so i pull it off. also with health the cravings change and vegetables are involved.

    no beer? NO BEER? but but but
    man dude, that’s harsh.

    mike: women are not impossible. be nice to us, have a spine, bathe, treat us well, listen when we talk … you know. general courtesy stuff *grin*

    okay i love the star trek metaphor… also still want to grow up to be captain janeway.

    i’m not easy and that’s not getting me ANYWHERE! course my dad would say it’s because i’m too easy with information… and maybe he’s right.

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 10:15 pm | Reply

  40. mike, sounds like you should call her captain instead…or maybe captain coach, or coach captain or how about oh captain my captain? Sounds like a bit of a mouthful, but the scenes that could be worked out(!!)

    I’m with you, also on the back n’ forth, banter thing…sometimes it just goes on so long you don’t know any more if you’re coming or going. I’ve mentioned this to Sass, but that’s when I find a good, direct approach extremely effective. ;)

    Comment by mightydoll — February 1, 2006 @ 10:40 pm | Reply

  41. sass – holy ROTFLMAO re: trailer park boys. the best guide for women EVER. hahahaha…oh that is some funny shit.

    Comment by Jenn! — February 1, 2006 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

  42. md: hrm… captain my captain. a mouthful but a nice one :) gawd that was a great movie.

    the banter thing is awesome for sure but there’s definetely a moment where you have to step up or step off. but good lord some clarity is nice too. CLEAR signals people… none of this wishy washy bullshit.

    jenn: you know i’ve never seen it for more than five minutes? it just seemed sort of apt *grin*

    now i have to go watch it!

    Comment by sassinak — February 1, 2006 @ 11:21 pm | Reply

  43. How about Captain Coach my Captain? I’ve always liked how Commander Tucker refers to his Captain on Enterprise, as “Cap’n”.

    OH…OH.. I have it!!!

    It’s a great play on my favourite breakfast cereal. I’ll call Ssss “Cap’n Coach”.

    Comment by Mike — February 2, 2006 @ 6:12 am | Reply

  44. oh man

    md look what you started!

    how bout calling me either of sass or ange?

    Comment by sassinak — February 2, 2006 @ 11:58 am | Reply

  45. How ’bout cap’n ange?

    I mean, at least meet him halfway… ;)

    Comment by mightydoll — February 2, 2006 @ 2:14 pm | Reply

  46. Well, most restaraunts in the US are no longer named after racial slurs. Personally I like cracker. It’s funny when I get called a cracker. Especially funny is because I have had people in chat rooms assume I was black because I don’t like racists and I call them on it. I guess they assume anyone that tells white racists to STFU is black.

    Honestly though, there are few chains worth going to. I don’t care for IHOP, but strippers swear by it. Waffle House scares me.

    Comment by R. U. Serious — February 2, 2006 @ 2:23 pm | Reply

  47. md: okay i’ll settle for cap’n sass :)

    i think i met him halfway… we’ll see if he agrees *g*

    rus: i didn’t know cracker barrel was named after a racial slur. i thought they server crackers! *lmao*

    racists make me almost as mad as bigots who piss me off slightly more than homophobes and misogynists and people are forever assuming i’m gay because i defend gay rights.

    why do you have to be something to want to defend it?

    waffle house IS scary

    Comment by sassinak — February 2, 2006 @ 4:05 pm | Reply

  48. Wow nicknames can be so complicared. Thee only problem with Cap’n Sass is I could get tired and type it wrong, and before I knew it I’d be calling you Capn’s Ass.

    But Coach doesn’t quite do it either.

    On a serious note Sass, remember I mentioned a bit of a limp way back? Could Pilates strengthen my leg?

    Comment by Mike — February 2, 2006 @ 7:05 pm | Reply

  49. okay that’s pretty funny.

    i might forgive that once or twice even :)

    coach really doesn’t work. othercat calls me ‘mistress ilsa of the pilates studio’

    pilates helps with anything, what it doesn’t do is fix things that are structurally busted or pinned or surgeried. but it sure fixes everything else.

    Comment by sassinak — February 3, 2006 @ 12:10 am | Reply


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