snapshots of an idle mind

February 17, 2006

no shoes for you!

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 12:03 pm

i’m having a shitty week.

i just got the car back from the mechanic where he pointed out all the ways that the other mechanic had fucked up the clutch. so now i have to call the clutch guy and bitch him out for fucking up this and that and the other thing but i have to do it in a way that he’ll actually fix it.

something about using some kind of sealant that actually eats honda seals and something else about some chirping. anyway apparently it’s a total hatchet job and i got screwed. [yes i understand better than i just explained but y’all don’t care about the details of the chirping clutch forks]
cause yeah.

that’s just what i needed today.

to find out that i got screwed again. hmmm it turns out it’s unfixable because it requires removing the clutch and tranny and starting from scratch so instead of lasting ten years it will last four. yay.

is it that i am paying more attention to the negative because i am all hormonal and crampy and thus i am just missing the nice things or is it that really a lot of total shit is happening to and around me this week and it just happens to be in combination with the stupid cramps and emotional distress?

the shitty thing about menstrual hormones is that the feelings they generate are still real. it’s not like your brain believes you when you tell it that the anger and rage and hurt aren’t real. it is utterly convinced that it knows the truth and that you happen to be cracked when you tell it that no, it’s just hormones.

then three days later the hormones are gone but you have massive cramps and you’re sane again except that you have to do damage control for whatever you broke in the last three days. and i broke a lot of things this week.

not to mention that yeah, the clutch didn’t get done right and now i have the pleasure of telling a guy that he did my car wrong. least i have the shop manual to hand him to prove it. yeah i got the shop manual for my car from the guy i trust. the one guy i trust in the fucking world to talk about my car.

one of hundreds. damm that’s worse odds than dating.

actually it really is. and at least in dating when you get screwed your car still works *grin*

the clutch works and all but it’s not up to snuff. which i was sort of noticing myself really…


cause i’m so rich.

no shoes for you says the universe.

it would be really nice to have shoes that didn’t hurt my hips.

oh man february. why do i have to get depressed every february? this happened to me really badly in vancouver and is in large part why i left. when i got back to ontario i started skiing and my depression cleared right up.

unfortunately i don’t seem to have the ability to get to a ski hill and go skiing anymore. well actually my car is safe again… hmmm.

the point is that i need to be outside and in the sun in the winter to stay sane and although i’m outside every day and i walk at least half an hour a day and i climb and do pilates it isn’t enough.

i was okay last winter because i had to shovel snow all the time. yes, i love shovelling snow. yes, i know i’m weird. yes, it is in fact satisfying the same way wood chopping is. yes, it totally bites when people have walked on it and packed it down.

anyway i think this means that it’s not just being outside or getting sun. i think maybe i need some vigorous exercise that’s also outside. i just can’t think of what to do. first of all there’s no snow because it’s hovering around zero for the entire winter. that means there’s no ice either so i can’t go skating.

hmmm maybe i can. must investigate.

anyway being that i’m TOTALLY poor for at least the foreseeable immediate future (hey good news, newfangled timing belts are good for 170,000km instead of 100!) i have to think of something free, vigorous and outside. yes, i know where your brains just went.

i am not coming up with much.

it’s time to head for othercat’s for dinner before band practise. wonder when i’ll finish this…

most ridiculous thing ever to bitch about:
just now, in the bathroom, i dropped a tampon and i clapped my legs together to catch it. and it fell through the space between my thighs.

and i got pissed because something sealed in plastic landed on the floor because i couldn’t get my thighs to touch.

seriously that’s party throwing stuff not bitching stuff. my THIGHS have actual air between them now. who on earth complains about THAT???!!!???

band practise cheered me right up… and my client called and offered me a ticket to her flamenco show because i fixed her and she survived rehearsals!

and now it’s friday and i’m reading that post and i’m sort of thinking to myself how ridiculous i’ve been all week. amazing what happens when your body stops beating the shit out of you and you go beat the shit out of your drum for several weed filled hours.

seriously i’m reading the above and wondering who that whiny chick is that wrote it. the thing that’s really amazing about this is that it really is all imposed by your body and it gets WORSE as you get older.

knowing this i now live in so much more fear of menopause than i once did.

it sure sucks having your body hold you hostage once a month. or like my client J says? just one more thing that proves that god is a man!




  1. Hmmm maybe you should think about adding a PS to that letter to the universe and all. I hate when people that are supposed to help you screw you over. You are a mechanic…you are supposed to care about the health of the car and we pay you enough fucking money as it is to do that thing you do under the hood… damn that kinda sounded sexy and dirty…which takes me away from the point…oh yes…you should do your fucking job and do it well, not try to screw us with cheaper parts and sealant… UGH! There should be a blacklisting of people that do such shit…then everyone would know.

    Fingers crossed that you will be able to talk to him and that he will fix it.

    Now on to tampons and stuff… do you think people that visit other people’s blogs often suffer from that same thing they say happens…that when girls hang out a lot they get their periods at the same time? Cause I am right with you on the hormones and cramps and even falling tampons. Although I have no excuse on the air between my legs… cause…well, at this point there is none of that. Although I am hoping I will get there one day.

    So yes I have been feeling a bit on the “meh” side of things and irritable. And I am not usually one for PMS and what not but I switched contraceptive pills and that might just be it.

    Anyhoo…glad you feel less “meh” now and rock on on the drums dude…we need pics, dollface :)


    Comment by Natalia — February 17, 2006 @ 1:23 pm | Reply

  2. nat: i’m considering it. i mean i get that the universe is having a great time (as dzer put it) fucking with the hot climber chick in ontario but it at least could have had my clutch done properly.

    this is not unheard of with honda’s because they tend to have very odd and specialty things that often get missed by non honda nerds. guess you get what you pay for and i couldn’t pay full price.

    mmmm sexy and dirty with GREASE!

    i agree on the blacklisting, would that we could do it. same with bad people on personals sites.

    apparently it’s unlikely he’ll fix it since it involves removing the transmission again.

    i think that most women are on a relatively lunar cycle and that women who live together cycle together. i don’t know about the blogs but it’s possible that we do it to each other. weird i wonder.

    well i had no air between my legs as recently as six months ago so… i’m with you on the one day thingy?

    i didn’t used to get pms and crap but it’s fully getting worse the older i get. so it could be one or the other?

    i asked othercat to take pics but he hasn’t yet… :)

    Comment by sassinak — February 17, 2006 @ 1:27 pm | Reply

  3. it DOES get worse as you get older. i didn’t used to suffer much PMS in my 20s or early 30s either, except that year or so that i was hideously depressed.

    now? it’s like clockwork.
    and for me, the next thing will be MENOFUCKINGPAUSE! yeek.

    hope things get better, and soon. maybe the universe has a fabulous surprise in store for you…

    Comment by terry — February 17, 2006 @ 4:41 pm | Reply

  4. terry: oh fuck. so it’s just starting the downward spiral into hell? cause i’m 34 so it seems like now is the time…

    i’ve been like clockwork for a while, the addition of the crazy emotional bullshit is new in the last year or two though.

    eeek to menofuckingpause!

    i hope things will get better, in fact they’re already improving cause i have fabulous weekend plans :) (okay my usual hang with friends, do pilates, anatomy in clay and maybe some climbing but that includes SLEEPING IN!)

    fabulous surprise from the universe. that would be nice :)

    Comment by sassinak — February 17, 2006 @ 6:33 pm | Reply

  5. My dad once replaced the clutch in my brother’s car and got a friend to help. This great mechanic put the clutch plate in backwards. Damn car was never the same. Made funny noises for years after, and I was almost unable to sell it when my parents asked me to. I basically had to beg.

    Scary Personals

    Comment by R. U. Serious — February 17, 2006 @ 6:55 pm | Reply

  6. you know? that actually makes me feel better. mine at least is fully working it’s just set up to fail sooner and it CHIRPS and it’s loud and irritating.

    i hope i can make him fix it but i have to wait for the rational hormones to kick back in before i talk to him.

    Comment by sassinak — February 17, 2006 @ 6:56 pm | Reply

  7. I’m glad you feel better.

    Comment by R. U. Serious — February 17, 2006 @ 10:07 pm | Reply

  8. wait, i didn’t mean to scare you! maybe that’s just MY experience.
    i actually think i’m already experiencing peri-menopause. which is making me feel even older…

    Comment by terry — February 17, 2006 @ 10:31 pm | Reply

  9. Ooooh a flamenco show! How fun!

    I’m sorry you’re not getting your shoes and even sorrier that you got screwed by the car-fixer dudes. That happens to me all the time but you seem to know A LOT more about your car than I know about mine.

    Mechanics suck. I hate when they take advantage.

    Comment by JMai — February 17, 2006 @ 11:28 pm | Reply

  10. I know EXACTLY what you mean about getting a bit out of sorts in February. I have something of a slump almost every winter. Sometimes it’s mild, sometimes – not so much. Being active helps, but it’s not a sure cure all the time.

    You sound better, definitely. If it makes you feel any better, spring’s around the corner. :)

    The car thing – damn dude, that sucks hard. I hope the dude that screwed it up makes good on his mistake.

    Comment by Matt Vella — February 17, 2006 @ 11:34 pm | Reply

  11. rus: thanks for that

    terry: dude i’m having the same experience so far so though i’m younger i’m willing to believe that the road doesn’t change. oh man i feel old already. earlier today i was heard to say ‘i remember being that young…. and i remember being that stupid’


    not only am i old but i’m SMUG about it!

    JM: yeah it was really cool.

    i’m really sad about shoes, my hips and my back don’t like any of my shoes and i really really really need new ones. i feel physical pain in my heart i need shoes so much.

    but i got to go to a cool flamenco show and one of the best honda mechanics in the country *likes* my car which is nice. he thinks it’s cool that i love it so i think he’s going to love it with me.

    dude i’ve had my car since 97… i hope so.

    some of them don’t suck. it’s like cops right?

    matt: yeah it’s a cure most of the time but some years … some years. not so much. this is an on again off again year so worse than the last few but better than the 30 days in bed when i lived in vancouver.

    dude pms in february is the most brutal emotional hit ever. no like ever. you’re maintaining relative sanity but it’s february and then BAM! slammed with bitch hormones.

    we’ll see what happens with the car. i think i’ll be sane enough to talk to him rationally by tuesday

    Comment by sassinak — February 18, 2006 @ 12:06 am | Reply

  12. “There should be a blacklisting of people that do such shit…then everyone would know.”

    a few of my pals like to use Craigslist’s Rants and Raves section for letting everybody know they got burned at a particular mechanic’s shop, or a lousy meal at a restaurant or whatever. people do read those posts in there so if it makes you feel any better you can always vent your anger that way and tip off some folks at the same time.

    vengeance CAN be yours. for reals.

    Comment by factory_peasant — February 18, 2006 @ 12:18 am | Reply

  13. well first i wait to see how he deals with it right?

    but that is an interesting thought.

    but i said vengeance is never healthy right?

    Comment by sassinak — February 18, 2006 @ 2:31 am | Reply

  14. oh I hear ya…life sucks as a women. and men just don’t get it, ever…

    “at least in dating when you get screwed your car still works”
    Oh man this made me laugh so hard!! It’s so bloody true though….loved it.

    hey by the way thanks for the soup, it helped!

    Comment by debambam — February 18, 2006 @ 4:05 am | Reply

  15. Factory-

    Woohoo for people letting people know. These people will most likely always have new victims but if enough people know they might not make enough money to stay open…my thoughts are… you reap what you sow.


    Comment by Natalia — February 18, 2006 @ 9:18 am | Reply

  16. Sass- man, big huggs for you and your car. Seriously that universe has flip-flopped a tad in your direction.

    During these very cold winter months when I can’t stand being outside for more that 30 minutes, I dance in my living room… the kids laugh at me but it’s therapuetical for me to just bump the tunes and shake my ass.

    Especially while menstrating.

    I’m hoping you’ll get that positive loop hole and be able to renew yourself somewhat… these feelings are acceptable and completely normal… and i think we all, as women, tend to become a bit embarrassed at ourselves after the fact… tee hee.

    i break shit too. fucking mechanic bitches… Im so tempted to buy you shoes.

    Comment by Everything nice — February 18, 2006 @ 9:42 am | Reply

  17. deb: the good ones at least try. mg was on the phone with hg one day and she was getting coffee (which she doesn’t drink) and he’s like ‘wait coffee what?’ and she’s like ‘okay fine i have cramps’ and he went into a five minute rant about cramps, how much they suck, how he hates them and blah blah blah. which made me fall half in love with him just to hear about it!

    and yeah sometimes i say stuff and i read it again later and i’m so impressed and i think it’s hella funny, and that’s one of them. thanks for pointing it out to me!

    yay for soup!

    nat: thing is i think this guy thinks he did a good job it’s just hondas are special needs cars.

    bubbles: i know it’s being a bit bitchy with me isn’t it? *huggs* back and thanks!

    see i love being outside in the winter if there’s snow. it’s the total lack of snow that makes it hard to find stuff to do and makes me a bit miserable. i left vancouver because of the weather toronto is having this winter and it’s still better here than there.

    i do dance in my living room too but not as much as you, more take myself climbing :) need something outside though for the SAD.

    it’s great to activate the abs which makes it easier to take the uterine torture. dancing too which is a good plan for next time i have to not climb the same week i bleed.

    i’m amazed any men are still coming anywhere near my blog can i tell you?

    yeah i for sure get embarassed. i snapped at my friend, the one who tells me the real truth about my car, and that’s not okay. so i brought him beer to jam night :)

    what did you break?

    mmmmmmmmmm want shoes. want shoes in that sulky five year old way. soon i hope.

    Comment by sassinak — February 18, 2006 @ 10:52 am | Reply

  18. Sass- LMAO. I think men understand ultimately… we can’t be sweet all the time.

    As far as the PMS is concerned, I still boast the Flying Fox honey wash from Lush which is formulated not only as a stimulant, but as a PMS combatant.

    Comment by Everything nice — February 18, 2006 @ 1:44 pm | Reply

  19. em: it’s true. but why do i lose the sanity just when i need it most?

    yeah but how scented is it? cause if it’s overly scented it will deal with the pms by giving me an agonizing headache and massive sinus pressure… so it’s sort of a toss up?

    Comment by sassinak — February 18, 2006 @ 4:00 pm | Reply

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