snapshots of an idle mind

April 28, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 1:32 pm

wow my nerd post seemed to hit a lot of you where it hurt, which is, in fact, the same place it hurts me :)

tonight princess valium and i are off to the fire fighters ball and it is reported (by an excellent pal of mine) that we will have a fantabulous time. apparently she has friends that go every year it’s that much fun.

of course i’m sure that it will turn out that i’ve got tickets to the other professional fire fighters ball and we’ll be stuck there with all the stodgy matrons or something.

okay i doubt it since when i called to find out what ‘clothing optional’ meant [i mean really i guess i could show up naked?? but i don’t really *want* to…] they said ‘everything from jeans to gowns’ and i don’t think the stodgy set go to that kind of party.

of course it also makes deciding what to wear nearly impossible. *grin*

couldn’t they have limited the menu just a tiny little smidgy bit?

personally i’m hoping for some men in uniform. yes, i know just how cheesy that is but there is something about fire fighters that i just don’t understand… they’re all hot. no seriously they are. even the ugly ones are hot.

i think it’s that service thing or something. you add the information that they are willing to run IN to a burning building to save my sorry ass and somehow they get super hot pretty much instantly.

there’s a lot more to it than that and truly i can’t explain it but i swear sometimes they also select for hot when they’re going through the applications. i’m such a shallow little bitch that i wouldn’t even mind if that were true!

anyway they’re hot in jeans but they’re smoking [oh man did i just make that pun?!?] in their uniforms and frankly i honestly don’t give a crap if the room is filled with ugly people because if you give PV and i weed (d-uh!) and some booze? fucking right we’re going to sit in the corner and play fashion crimes.

don’t get me wrong, we’ll dance too but even if the entire crowd is lame and the music sucks? we’re going to have a blast.

it’s actually almost a little bit funny how stoked i am about this evening. mostly to party with her of course but still stoked. i don’t really hang around anywhere i can meet other people my age. i meet young people at the climbing gym and older folks teaching pilates [and even if they aren’t old i can’t really make them into friends right?] and gay people in my neighbourhood.

and i love the gay community i do but i would kind of like to make friends with some straight folks my own age. i guess that’s kind of a strange thing to want and yet i do.

damm i wonder where my client is, she’s ten minutes late which is a lot even for her. i hope she makes it this week, i need the money to pay rent. i’m okay without it but life would be easier is all. doesn’t matter too much, being a few days late is not a problem in my building.

turns out i had forgotten to unlock the front door of the building and she was standing outside. oops!

regardless, i’m stoked about this evening and i declare that all of you should be jealous.

one of my readers decided i needed cheering up and this appeared in the mail: (can i out you or is it a secret?)

that is in fact me sitting at band practise with my drum between my legs in case y’all are wondering.

note the hair, finally long enough for a shitty ponytail! also note the grin, so it worked :)

i came home to have a shower and the water is off. annoyingly i can’t even get pissed about it because there were signs up for three days warning of this. it does sort of wreck the annoyance factor doesn’t it?

it pisses me off because i had time this morning before work and i didn’t do it. now i have to sort of smell for my last three classes of the day and THEN i can finally have a shower.


what the fuck does one wear to a clothing optional party? and does the phrase ‘clothing optional’ strike the rest of you as funny as it does me?

speaking of clothing options, i am meeting with my ex sometime next week. the thing is i’m like a hundred times hotter than i was when we split up (which is tragically satisfying… but not as much as it could be since all i’ve done is gotten back to how i was when we met… so he won’t be AS surprised) and i know that will surprise him.

my inner bitch is thinking ‘wear your fucking hottest outfit but make it one that looks effortless’ and my inner angel is thinking ‘wear sweats, it’s not like you want him back after all’ and my inner neutral and sane person is thinking ‘wear something simple and comfortable and who cares what you look like’ and the rest of me?

it’s wondering why the hell i’m even thinking about this.

in fact it’s thinking that if i spend any more time on this contemplation of what to wear for the ex that i might actually find i’m in denial about my real purposes. which i’m not.

i think.

it’s so hard to read your own mind. wouldn’t it be nice if there was a little box you could stick your head in and it could tell you what you were really thinking and what your real motivations were?

i’m pretty sure that i just want to look hot for the sheer satisfaction of it. take that you you you EX and see what you’re missing. it’s stupid really because looks only matter when you’re first, first meeting someone and after that you see in their faces a reflection of their inner soul and their real appearance becomes irrelevant.

okay except when the girl you’ve only seen in sweats shows up in pvc on hallowe’en… which is unfair as hell.

but otherwise? yeah it doesn’t matter. you don’t even see reality after a while and i’m almost certain that neither he nor i can see the other with any clarity. we broke up hella ugly after all.

so why, after all that, do i still want to look as hot as possible?

ahh vanity you silly thing you.



  1. first?? really???

    i’d dance, but i’m too freaking tired…

    Comment by terry — April 28, 2006 @ 4:51 pm | Reply

  2. anyway… what i was going to say is.. it’s completely natural to want to look hot when seeing your ex.

    but i think that’s also true when you’re seeing ANYONE you haven’t seen in awhile.

    and you can’t help looking hot, no matter what you wear. so there.

    Comment by terry — April 28, 2006 @ 4:53 pm | Reply

  3. terry: yup yup… second too :)

    heh i know the feeling.

    i know that it’s natural and yet somehow it makes me feel silly. but you’re right on the anyone and i hadn’t thought of that.

    oh you sweetie!

    Comment by sassinak — April 28, 2006 @ 5:55 pm | Reply

  4. “clothing optional”….

    Is that anything like “Do you need an impaired driving lawyer”?

    Comment by othercat — April 28, 2006 @ 5:57 pm | Reply

  5. i think it’s EXACTLY like that actually :)

    trust me i’m enjoying some of the mental images…. *g*

    Comment by sassinak — April 28, 2006 @ 6:01 pm | Reply

  6. My pal Johnny Q is a fireman. He just so happened to be one of the hot young firestuds on the calendar a few years ago. All of my friends and I had a good larf at his expense. At the time he was quite the philanderer, and on the calendar they posed him in his skivvies with a newborn baby on his knee. He certainly didn’t fit the warm fuzzy nurturing kind of guy at the time, and to top it all off, just before the shutter tripped, the baby had sprung a leak and whizzed all over his leg. He has a look on his face that is quite telling if you know the circumstances.

    He’s trying to look cuddly, and yet he’s annoyed and terrified at the same time.

    Comment by othercat — April 28, 2006 @ 6:17 pm | Reply

  7. Ok, fess up. Who sent you that awesome shirt?

    Comment by SignGurl — April 28, 2006 @ 6:33 pm | Reply

  8. othercat: nice. have you shown me that pic?

    i hope so cause if you haven’t i might just sulk :)

    that sounds freaking hilarious… is he now no longer a philanderer?

    sign: dude it’s up to her and she hasn’t chimed in yet, i’ll out her if she says it’s okay :)

    but yeah, fucking rocks doesn’t it?

    Comment by sassinak — April 28, 2006 @ 6:53 pm | Reply

  9. Cool shirt, great smile!

    Clothing optional…sounds like some of the parties we’ve been to… :)

    Comment by Matt Vella — April 28, 2006 @ 9:26 pm | Reply

  10. matt: thanks. i’m in love with it.

    i don’t think they mean it that way… but who knows right?

    Comment by sassinak — April 28, 2006 @ 10:11 pm | Reply

  11. oh, and clothing optional can’t possibly be a mistake, can it??

    hah. a nude firefighters ball.

    hah. ball.

    (told you i was tired. but i’d have laughed at ball, no matter what)

    i can’t wait to hear about your evening.

    Comment by terry — April 28, 2006 @ 11:05 pm | Reply

  12. I agree with you 100% on the firemen…they’re all hot. How does that happen? I guess they keep in great shape working with those big hoses. I’m just sayin…
    Clothing optional…how funny…one could only hope. I’m apparently going to all the wrong parties. Cananda…who knew?

    That is a great pic, you’ve got such a contagious smile! You don’t talk much about the band…tell us more about that.

    Comment by kathi — April 28, 2006 @ 11:22 pm | Reply

  13. Sass – check out my latest post when ya get a chance. Meheeco is giving the big middle finger to the “war on drugs”.


    Comment by Matt Vella — April 28, 2006 @ 11:43 pm | Reply

  14. terry it totally wasn’t. the crowd was even kind of lame actually. so lame that urban anthropologist wasn’t much fun.

    but yeah if they’d been nude it would have been slightly more amusing.

    i don’t think the eight dollar drinks helped any.

    kathi: they are all hot. i don’t know what it is but it’s true nonetheless. i’m sure not complaining, looking at cops and firemen is one of life’s little pleasures.

    mmmmmmmmmm big hoses :)

    thanks, othercat snapped it and we were all feeling giddy and happy. really it was an awesome jam, all these half hour songs that just went on adn on.

    i go to all the wrong parties for sure :)

    matt: SO THERE

    let’s go to meheeeco!


    Comment by sassinak — April 29, 2006 @ 3:01 am | Reply

  15. your face is so much longer than it used to be…

    sounds like the party could’ve been better. Oh ell, I hope you at least had a good time.

    I was cycling last Summer & intentionally started racing through a red light until noticing the police officer on a bike stopped in front of me :) I screeched to a hault & immediately turned to say hi to the stunningly hot woman in the uniform before me. I felt compelled to be impulsive & almost asked her to come rock climbing with me right there. Unfortunately, the paranoid side of me first, knew that I couldn’t handle a new relation at the time and second, wondered if I could be sited for coming on to an officer while she’s on duty.

    But daaaamn…

    Comment by green_hedonist — April 29, 2006 @ 10:11 am | Reply

  16. damn, that’s too bad that the crowd was so lame. sounded like there was so much potential there.

    perhaps if the drinks had been more reasonably priced..

    Comment by terry — April 29, 2006 @ 5:58 pm | Reply

  17. damn, that’s too bad that the crowd was so lame. sounded like there was so much potential there.

    perhaps if the drinks had been more reasonably priced..

    Comment by terry — April 29, 2006 @ 5:58 pm | Reply

  18. um. oops.

    Comment by terry — April 29, 2006 @ 5:58 pm | Reply

  19. fyi i owe EVERYONE email and none of you are getting it until tomorrow. if you’re lucky. also? i’m drunk.

    hubris: i was noticing that too, it’s very odd to see. i’d forgotten that my face did that look.

    you TOTALLY should have asked her out. totally. except for that whole new relationship problem and the little tiny issue of your friend mary.


    terry: i know, but we got there late too.

    never underestimate the power of five dollar beer over nine dollar beer.

    *yay for accidental extra comments* *g*

    Comment by sassinak — April 29, 2006 @ 10:53 pm | Reply

  20. Ohhhh you know what happens when you post pictures

    *snoopydances around bedroom in her silk pajamas*

    Now that this is out of the way… clohing…it’s such a funny thing. Some people use it to hide “defects” some use it to enhance body parts they like. But the hilarious thing is that what one person finds appealing the next finds ridiculous.

    I once was went on a date with someone that worked in the same building as I did. I was excited to see him outside of work cause he always saw me in very serious things like black pantsuits, or a skirt and shirt. So I was all happy about meeting at a restaurant and being able to wear my own style. Well, apparently he found me attractive in the office apparel but wasn’t so keen on my punk/gothy attire. Funnily enough, when the date was over, I was walking to my car and ran into someone from work and he was all “God you look hot, and a work, you just look so serious…this is a much better look.” *le sigh*


    Comment by Natalia — April 30, 2006 @ 9:55 am | Reply

  21. Thanx for enjoying the pictures. Apparently I’m the official photographer for Sassinak’s Blog. In between barmping my sax, and singing shoulder to shoulder with Sass, I took this and a few other pictures at the jam session. Sass is right. The songs all lasted for several minutes and the groove just kept on coming. It’s an awesome thing, and everyone should get themselves an instrument of some sort to make noise and relieve day to day stress. It’s the perfect cure-all.

    Comment by othercat — April 30, 2006 @ 9:57 pm | Reply

  22. Heh! That’s funny…I was just going to say something similar to what Othercat said. Only not as well-put. :-)

    You look SO happy there, Sass. It’s a beautiful thing, ya know?

    Ever person in the world is a musician – they just don’t always know it.

    Comment by Will — April 30, 2006 @ 10:10 pm | Reply

  23. Ok I just got home and must unpack and do all those Sunday night things that people do, so I don’t have time to properly read just now, but can I just say… I love that shirt! Too cute!

    Comment by JMai — April 30, 2006 @ 10:27 pm | Reply

  24. nat: yay for snoopy dancing! othercat and i took some more today and one of them is pretty damm funny.

    oh man that is totally true. there is this man (the beautiful eastern european who thinks before he speaks in case yer wondering) who wears neon lime green or orange or red pants to climb in and often no shirt.

    and he’s fucking beautiful. but when i point out the freaking awesome lime green pants to others many of them just hate them. so i totally get what you are saying.

    othercat: you and hubris between you keep my blog in pictures. i’m grateful let me tell you.

    it was a freaking excellent jam. and another one this week!

    will: othercat totally has a way with words doesn’t he?

    i’m really happy in that pic dude, and i’ve got a teeny buzz on and life is good. band practise doesn’t get skipped for much that’s for sure (ministry okay… still has TICKETS AVAILABLE BY THE WAY)

    i love my drum, it makes me so happy.

    jmai: i hear that, i just got home from a weekend out myself.

    and thanks, i wore it AGAIN today :)

    Comment by sassinak — April 30, 2006 @ 11:12 pm | Reply

  25. Love the t-shirt!

    So what are the details of the firemen’s ball? Please post for those of us who live vicariously through your blog! Thank you.

    Comment by clarity — May 1, 2006 @ 1:12 am | Reply

  26. thanks! i love it too.

    okay details coming now…

    Comment by sassinak — May 1, 2006 @ 12:19 pm | Reply

  27. Hey that T-shirt is cool :) Sass dude I contemplate things like that all the time what to wear when _____, then you analyze the shit out of it and beat the dead horse in your mind and it just blows, then you say f’ it I am wearing jeans and a t-shirt)

    Oh FIREMEN!!!! I love me some firemen!! I can’t explain what it is about them, they are definetly HOT around here! ahhhh okay I gotta stop now before I get all horny!

    I love that you say hella! :) It’s a North Cali thing that people say and all the Southern Cali’s ’round here make fun of me for it…

    It’s like CA says soda and WA says pop…it’s funny

    Comment by HuneeB — May 3, 2006 @ 2:42 am | Reply

  28. hunee: thanks, i love it… it’s getting worn a lot. i’ve decided to go climbing first and wear chalk and sweat. that seems like my favourite armour anyway.

    firemen are so delicious. i do NOT know what that is but it is so true. they’re just … *fans face*

    i love hella, it’s a great word… like y’all. everyone should use those two words! :)

    we say pop.

    Comment by sassinak — May 3, 2006 @ 2:51 am | Reply

  29. hehe pop…I remember getting into debates with people in WA (when I lived there) that is was called soda and not pop…but it was more of just playing devils advocate…I giggle a little now when I hear people say pop… :)

    Comment by HuneeB — May 3, 2006 @ 3:33 am | Reply

  30. funny I like y’all to

    Comment by HuneeB — May 3, 2006 @ 3:33 am | Reply

  31. hunee i’ve been confused when people offered me soda before. i was like no thanks i’ll have root beer *grin* … to me soda is a specific kind of pop…

    and yeah, i can see why you giggle…


    Comment by sassinak — May 3, 2006 @ 12:08 pm | Reply

  32. Hey was just rolling thru wanted to let ya know ya got a cool blog here Nice Job.

    Comment by Anonymous — September 8, 2006 @ 1:32 am | Reply

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