snapshots of an idle mind

October 11, 2006

as the god of my own universe…

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 10:53 am

.
it’s three thirty nine in the morning and i’m staring at a blank screen. i feel like posting, my pedicure feels over and i don’t really know what to say.

the only thing really occuring to me right now has to do with judgement and the right of it.
.

okay i wrote that the night i posted my nerd post. i suddenly realised that i had to finish the nerd post and go to bed instead of doing something new. was okay, the post was ready.

anyway, now i can’t figure out what i meant quite exactly.

i’m pretty sure that i’m discussing the idea of sitting in judgement and i’m pretty sure i don’t think that anyone really has the right to do that. i’m in fact convinced that the ability to see more than one side of things is greatly lacking in the average human.

it’s like all those email forwards say, try to remember that that ‘asshole’ who cut you off in traffic is on his way home from visiting his stroked out mother in the hospital. that that bitch who budded in line is worried about her colicky baby and how she’s going to pay the bill and how the cashier that’s not paying attention is a medical student with a big exam and how…

we’ve all gotten these emails, okay i’m assuming but it’s a fair assumption since they go around a lot and i’ve gotten them repeatedly.

and it seems to me that they’re

[*sigh* and now it’s october and i started this in april and somehow today it wants me to finish it. see how i left it all in the middle of a sentence to make my life easier? yeesh]

…more right than we care to admit. almost every time i’ve caught myself being judgemental, no let me rephrase. almost every time i’ve been busted for being judgemental by someone other than myself it’s always been because i was firmly attaching my own prejudices to my opinion and i wasn’t willing to look around the corner.

sometimes that’s okay. like the guy i had two dates with who thinks i’m awesome but there’s no physical spark [i agree fyi but i wanted to see him minus wine haze before i really decided] but still went through the rigamarole of starting to set up a third date and then didn’t email me for four days (friday at 3 i emailed him back and tuesday morning he replied) and then sends me an email that starts with “hi cutie”

and ends with ‘there’s no physical spark but i think you’re awesome and would love to hang out’

seriously don’t call a girl cute and dump her in the same breath. it’s okay you aren’t into me dude it really is cause you’re high on yourself and kinda fat (but say in your ad that you want a fit woman… tut tut… you have to be into fitness to ask for fitness… just saying) in spite of the interesting nature of your brain but it’s not okay to waste my time starting to set up another date and then wait four days.

had he sent the IDENTICAL email on friday (or even saturday)? i would want to be friends.

but now i don’t and i said so. apparently he was ‘crazy busy’ and ‘offline all weekend’ … whatever. his cell phone broke too apparently.

so i’m judging him. i’m judging him an ass who isn’t worth my time so i’ll answer his last email with something like ‘no i don’t want to take you climbing and appear to be dating when i’m single but feel free to invite me to parties’ and move on.

i see that i’m judging him and i don’t care. i approve of my judgement. if he wanted to be friends well, don’t waste my time is all. i don’t want to be friends with any other inconsiderate people. i’ve done that enough.

but then there’s the other times i get judgemental. like when i catch myself looking down at the guy that’s working at the Bay. or when i make obnoxious remarks toward people who lack education. or the ranting i have been heard to do about other people’s bad driving right before i change lanes without signalling.

or when i talk about a friend and their behaviour and how it’s fucking me up and how they aren’t doing the right thing. they aren’t doing the right thing for ME. that doesn’t have shit to do with whether or not they’re doing the right thing for them.

i was particularly guilty of this with a couple of old roommates.

i held them to my nature instead of to realistic standards. like judging someone for being ‘slutty’ when you were a natural celibate is ridiculous. first of all slutty is the stupidest word ever except maybe for should.

or judging someone for eating too much when you have no comprehension of the emotional anguish they’re in.

we all do it, make snap judgements all the time about people… and most of them are harmless and necessary. do i want to hang out with this person? do i want to shop at that store? do i like this restaurant? was that good value for money?

lovely stuff.

but then there’s the slippery slope right?

where you think someone is crazy because they have faith in god, the universe, cosmic rays, l. ron hubbard (no that one really is nuts), diet soda, marijuana, buddha, the tao… i could keep going.

or you decide that people who eat meat are worthless. or that all vegetarians are stupid.

or that all jews must die. or that homosexuals are spawn of the devil and deserve no solace.

or that people actually have the right to tell other people who to marry… or who not to marry. hell that someone can kill you for your sexual preference…

wow. neat where a post i started in april ended up.

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30 Comments »

  1. *snoopydance of firstness*

    Booyeah, beatches! Or is it booya? Never quite got that.

    But I still rock.

    -N

    Comment by Natalia — October 11, 2006 @ 2:31 pm | Reply

  2. Now that the snoopydancing has been done. Hmmmm I think someone who says that he or she is not judgmental at all is lying to you and to him/herself. We all have stuff that we learned to judge others on. The best you can do is try to identify what triggers those reflexes and try to remind yourself you don’t know the whole story…and that people might be judging you along the same lines…or different lines…but lines anyway…and people draw lines in the weirdest of places.

    It’s madness. I don’t know how we all got this way. Some people argue that when you meet someone you try to look for similarities to find common ground to like them. But some people look for the differences, whatever separates them, as a way to be set apart.

    I don’t know which one is the most typical reaction. I do know some people look at others and immediately think about what they have over them. I knew a woman who always put women in two categories: prettier than me or uglier than me. And not as in inside pretty but ooutside pretty. Gag me… it made me very sad.

    I don’t have any wanswers :(

    -N

    Comment by Natalia — October 11, 2006 @ 2:36 pm | Reply

  3. Hmmm ….Sass …might be time to join me at the group therapy sessions ….lmao …

    Excellent post hun ..

    Comment by Spirit — October 11, 2006 @ 6:19 pm | Reply

  4. Yep, you can be pretty judgmental, although you don’t usually say that all Jews should die. I certainly felt heavily judgified when we first met, and that MAY have contributed to the long gap between 1st and 2nd dates. That said, I was also ‘Crazy Busy’ at the time.
    Anyway, I seem to go through phases of self-awareness and complete un-self-awareness, and it’s when I’m un-self-aware (least reflective?) that I am most judgemental (AND grumpy).
    Sounds like it is similar for you.

    Sometimes you gotta judge, though, just to get over and around certain roadblocks, even if you’d rather not.

    Mercy, it’s sure gettin’ windy, eh?
    Hope your hatches are battened down rather than up!

    Johnny

    Comment by Johnny Canuck — October 11, 2006 @ 6:36 pm | Reply

  5. I type BOOYAH……but I think any version works.

    once again Sass this is an excellent post…..your ability to show both sides of every situation amazes me.

    Thank you for blogging

    Comment by Kristen — October 11, 2006 @ 7:00 pm | Reply

  6. nat: *dances along with you*

    hrm… i say boo yah myself… but i don’t know if it matters.

    dude you rock for sure!

    nat two: i think you’re right. i try hard not to be judgemental and yet i know damm well that i suck ass at it. i don’t want to be judgemental but i am.

    i think you’re right and that’s just what i try to do, but i sure know that it doesn’t always work and i also know that the madder you are about someone else’s actions the more likely you are to be being judgemental.

    it’s the whole story thing that’s key.

    what’s interesting to me is that i like to think that when i meet someone (say on a blind date) that i’m getting to know them and assessing them but it seems that it feels like heavy judgement to the recipient (see johnny’s comment below). so yeah, what the fuck do i know.

    oh yeah i know that woman too… lots of them… and i’ve done that sort of bullshit myself but at least it’s more often about inside than out… but now always :(

    me neither darlin’

    spirit: heh. can’t afford counselling or i’d be getting some… and i’m so good at reading others and helping them that i turn into the second therapist in a group so unfortunately i can’t do that…

    thanks :)

    Comment by sassinak — October 11, 2006 @ 10:29 pm | Reply

  7. johnny: i have to say that this came from so far out in left field that i’m just staring at it and i don’t know what to say. in the fourteen months since i met you i’ve in person and in my blog talked about my troubles with men and dating and you never once told me that.

    i’m stunned. i wish you had told me that then. maybe you can tell me what i did that seemed judgemental so i know for later.

    kj: i think you’re right but i think you have the generally accepted spelling as well.

    thanks kristen i really try and i try hardest when the other side is hard to see.

    you’re welcome, and thanks for thanking me :)

    Comment by sassinak — October 11, 2006 @ 10:37 pm | Reply

  8. Some of my favorites:

    If you judge people you have no time to love them
    ~Mother Teresa

    Good for keeping me in perspective…

    We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.
    ~Ian Percy

    Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken.
    ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

    Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
    ~William Hazlitt

    last one…

    If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.
    ~Marcus Aurelius

    Comment by HuneeB — October 11, 2006 @ 10:43 pm | Reply

  9. All I can do is learn, talk to them and get in their head, you never really know someone and their shoes may be VERY different from your own. I do my best not to judge and keep that in prespective not to judge a book by it’s cover. Every life is special and every person is important. :)

    Comment by HuneeB — October 11, 2006 @ 10:50 pm | Reply

  10. btw the way I totally laugh at myself when I mutter nice blinker and I am soooo guilty of it too…

    I have a russian friend who calls it foot in mouth. :)

    Comment by HuneeB — October 11, 2006 @ 10:51 pm | Reply

  11. hunee one: those are awesome. all of them but i think my favourite is mother teresa and william hazlitt and marcus aurelius. but they’re all great.

    hunee two: it’s true, the more i learn the more kinds of shoes i can wear AND the more i learn how little i really know.

    how do you decide who to befriend and who not to? some kind of spark thingy has to be involved.

    hunee three: yeah exactly. i’m such an ass i don’t know how i put up with myself!

    your russian friend is dead right.

    Comment by sassinak — October 11, 2006 @ 11:10 pm | Reply

  12. Sass one: I like the Mother Teresa the best. But all the others are good too.

    Isn’t it funny that the more we learn the less we know.. I just bought a t-shirt that is a quote by Jimi Hendrix that is something to that effect.

    Sass two: To answer the friend question you know I do my best to befriend anyone and everyone until they give me a reason not to. Yeah sometimes I get burned but you know I am better for it. I choose to love freely and wear my heart on my sleeve and noone has the power to take that away from me, not even fear can stop me because I have the courage and faith to believe that things happen for a reason and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I do however trust my gut intuition and that sometimes keeps me clear from people, maybe it is in my err or maybe it is not?

    Sass three: all we can do is laugh, if you can’t laugh at yourself what can you laugh at? Yeah I only mention that she is russian b/c she has that deep accent and it always makes me smile the way she says it very broken down with said accent. :)

    Comment by HuneeB — October 11, 2006 @ 11:48 pm | Reply

  13. Q; why did we all become chocolate? (Not that I have issue with it, just wondering…is this a roll over from earlier house cleaning?)

    Comment by HuneeB — October 11, 2006 @ 11:52 pm | Reply

  14. *snap!*

    ;)

    Comment by DZER — October 12, 2006 @ 4:01 am | Reply

  15. Some people are assholes. Judging them as such is entirely fair. There is good judgement and bad judgement. If I liked the guy but felt no chemistry, I might still hang out platonically, but I might not. I trust your judgement, but I do still love being called cute.

    Comment by Trouble in Shangri La — October 12, 2006 @ 10:35 am | Reply

  16. How can we not be judgmental? I think it is an impossible task. We are socially conditioned to be so. We are judged all of our lives in school, in sports, at work, by our friends, by our enemies, and by our own families. A certain book tells us to “judge not lest ye be judged” yet everyone who follows it is waiting to be judged on judgement day. It’s everywhere in the media. Sure we can easy dog on tabloids, but even regular newsprint will run the most sensationalistic headlines of the day. Everyone wants to see the mighty giants fall. We celebrate it. Why do so many viewers tune into American Idol? It’s to see that Simon guy rudely trash all of those contestants. Turn on eMpTV and all it shows is spoiled brats dogging each other for some superficial reason or another (do they even play music anymore???). We can talk the talk about not being judgmental, but we all do it. It is ingrained within us. The difference for some people is that they feel guilty for doing so and consciously try to avoid it. The rest revel in it and do it openly to make themselves feel better. Instead of lifting themselves up, they would rather take everyone else down. But here I am judging them for doing it. There is no escape.

    Comment by john — October 12, 2006 @ 12:49 pm | Reply

  17. Sorry!
    This is something that’s been percolating in the back of my head since we first met, but I haven’t been able to articulate it until this post of yours.

    What judgement I did feel on that first date came at the immediate moment we first met, in person, when you looked pretty crest-fallen at the sight of me. It was a little deflating, and I remember feeling bad that I hadn’t fit whatever image/criteria that had been in your head. That said, after about a half-hour, things got better and we both had a nice judgement-free time, and many nice times after that. But, that initial judgement never really went away, and although I always had hopes that things would get sparkier, I never really got over that first impression turn-off. No idea if that’s a fair assessment of what was going on at that moment, but that’s what it seemed like to me.

    In the long run, I think that your judgement of me/us, whether snap or well-considered, was spot on. And it allowed the both of us to focus on other prospects without regrets and to move on with each other as friendlies (which is great, since meeting up with you is always super-fun).

    I think that Mother Theresa’s quote is absolutely the way someone should approach life and other people. But, I think that, in the insane world of dating, you sort of HAVE to assert your own needs/wants in a biased way. It gets too hard and messy, otherwise.

    In terms of your dating troubles, I don’t know. I have no idea if the other fellas feel like I did. I mean, you were pretty ‘new’ to dating when we went out. I’m sure you are way smoother now. Reading this blog there have been times when I’ve thought “Really Sass? Are you sure you gave him a good chance?”, and other times when I’ve thought “Right on Sass, you pegged THAT meathead!”. It seems to me that your worst dating problems come when you choose NOT to follow your judgements, and you get hung up in a bad situation.

    From my experiences with you, I really do trust your judgement. I think you have a very good idea of what’s the right way to jump, whether that’s just right for you or right for everyone involved. It may not always be nice, but I think it works.

    Sorry if this did come out of the blue, but it isn’t something I really had worked out until now. Your posts are often great for clarifying (or at least raising) certain issues in my own head, and this one just happened to jell something about our dating past!

    Lemme know if this makes sense!

    Johnny

    Comment by Johnny Canuck — October 12, 2006 @ 1:01 pm | Reply

  18. hunee one: yeah i think so too.

    it is funny, but it’s also true because the more you learn the more you can see all that there still is to learn. the more pilates i learn the more i realise that i don’t know…

    i do all of those things too but i don’t find myself with a hundred new friends every week which implies that either i fail THEIR judgement test or that i don’t choose to push for friendship.

    i think trusting your gut is the smartest thing you can do actually.

    oh i love it, i had a serbian friend with a similar accent and i can completely picture it!

    hunee two: i needed to trim my links list and i wanted to add a couple of links… so i trimmed the title :)

    dzer: :P

    Comment by sassinak — October 12, 2006 @ 2:25 pm | Reply

  19. Note that when I say “your” judgement of me/us, I really mean “OUR” judgement. I was judging you at the same damn time, and we both came to the same conclusion.

    Johnny

    Comment by Johnny Canuck — October 12, 2006 @ 2:33 pm | Reply

  20. trouble: i would have hung out platonically but i didn’t really feel like he was considerate. seriously had he sent that email by sunday? he and i would be friends now.

    and i love being called cute too but i’m guessing that you also don’t appreciate it in an email where you’re getting dumped.

    john: i don’t know. it turns out that even if i’m not trying to be judgemental i still am. and apparently i hurt feelings doing it without realising.

    what’s funny is that i was never (until i got out of school that is) considered someone ‘worth’ hanging out with. weird that i turn out judgemental anyway.

    i find that a large percentage of people who claim to follow that book are inordinantly judgemental. they want everyone to be the same as they or something. i don’t really get it but it’s true.

    what’s funny is that i can hardly bear to watch american idol becauseof that very thing. the excruciating embarrassment of it all is painful for me. as are tv shows which rely on such embarassment for their humour. there are entire books i can’t finish because the characters are so stupid and embarassing i can’t bear it… i can’t comprehend their actions and although i know the author is setting up some sort of ‘salvaged life’ or whatever plot i still can’t do it.

    and yeah, there really is no escape.

    johnny: no i’m sorry. i’m sorry in a way that i ever guilted you into a second date with me. clearly you had made your decision already. all this time i thought you were defending your thesis. is it weird that i feel sort of misled now?

    as for the first meeting? dude all that meant was that you were two inches shorter than you said in your profile and you don’t stand up straight. so i expected a man a little taller than me and got one who was shorter. that and the holes in your shirt didn’t give the best first impression. i’m sorry if you felt heavily judged but well… if i had known how tall you actually are i would have expected it and there would have been no ‘crest-fallen’ look. which is funny because i thought you were cute.

    and here i thought it was nerves.

    who don’t you think i gave a chance to?

    this really did come out of the blue but yes, i certainly feel clarified.

    johnny two: noted

    Comment by sassinak — October 12, 2006 @ 3:48 pm | Reply

  21. Dude, I LOVED those other dates and was happy to go out again. Both of us got to do stuff together that we would never have done apart, and it was so much fun. There was absolutely no guilting involved.

    The thesis work was no lie, that bastard ate me up that summer. I think the lie part is that I didn’t admit (to you AND myself) that I was kinda discouraged. That first date did make me feel more self-conscious. Sorry. I felt way better later on.

    Sigh. I really did look shabby, eh?
    Scientist casual is obviously WAY too casual. As you’ve always said, I need REAL clothes, not outdoorsy/teaching clothes. It’s an uphill battle.

    And, honestly, every time I get professionally measured they make me straighten out and I end up around 5’11”. Walking on the street, I’m like 5’7″. I need posture lessons, badly.

    As for who I thought you didn’t give a good chance to, sometimes I think it’s all of them. Like you’re batting these fellas away because you’d, deep down, rather not let them settle in. But then, as more details come out, I usually decide that, no, you were totally right to move on. eg. I liked frisbee-golf guy for a while, but then, I didn’t.
    So, none of them? Ugh.

    You’ve always been clearer than I. Sorry.

    Johnny

    Comment by Johnny Canuck — October 12, 2006 @ 3:56 pm | Reply

  22. johnny: good because i was starting to wonder if you and i were dating two other people or something. and i had a fucking excellent time at the shoe museum, i would have hated to be the only one.

    that’s the part that feels like a lie to me too. you did sort of tell me by telling me i was way cooler than you… it made me think you didn’t think you were enough for me and that’s a hard thing for me to get past.

    sorry dude but you really did. it’s why i bug you to find clothing that you can’t teach or walk nature trails in. just a couple of things you actually take care of. my ex husband was forever working on cars in his ‘good’ jeans *wry smile*

    but you said 6′ and that’s fine with short girls but tall girls are sensitive to that… and well when a guy lies about his height you’re always wondering what else he’s lying about see?

    i think i didn’t give frisbee-gold guy a chance because i was still desperately stupid about that other man… and because of that i think all i saw with mr frisbee was who he wasn’t. then again, he didn’t see me very clearly either… we were the first people we each dated after a very long hiatus which is always going to be weird…

    the rest of them? there’s you, there’s the guy i dated twice last week and there’s the guy that dated princess valium and i at the same time… and that’s IT.

    i don’t think i’m forgetting anyone…

    none of them… nope.

    no worries, you’re the one who keeps talking until you’re understood which is an excellent trait in a man

    Comment by sassinak — October 12, 2006 @ 6:54 pm | Reply

  23. Sass you know I don’t have 100 new friends everyday either, I am more than willing to get to know people but I don’t force things. I am not going to push people to like me or dislike me. I actually have a very small circle of people I consider friends and a little larger circle that are aqunt.’s :)

    Comment by HuneeB — October 12, 2006 @ 8:18 pm | Reply

  24. Well, I know that the ‘actually dated’ pile of men isn’t that high, but I think I was including more than just those fellows. I was including those men that didn’t get out of the starting gate. Those men you lusted after, pined for, and fretted over. Just because you didn’t get to date them doesn’t (to me) exclude them from the ‘dating problems’ discussion.
    Wasn’t there a red-headed climber guy you liked?
    That’s the kind of guy I was also including.

    And yes, running up two flights of stairs so we wouldn’t miss an exhibition of SHOES is one of my all-time fave memories. That and all the dead bodies. And wandering around.

    Thanks for the ‘cute’ comment!

    I’m off to shovel snow!

    Johnny

    Comment by Johnny Canuck — October 12, 2006 @ 10:42 pm | Reply

  25. Well, its good to see you here again:-)

    Your sense of judgement arises from ur beliefs. If all/most beliefs have a basis, judging is good. Strictly speaking you judge actions of persons, and from then you extrapolate to that person’s personality. If you take reasonably good number of actions into account, before judging a person, that is a fair approximation, which is a necessary evil.

    Take care
    Hemant
    Damn, from today, i am going to be judgemental of ppl who do not reply to my emails.

    Comment by Hemant Kumar — October 13, 2006 @ 3:11 pm | Reply

  26. hunee: oh i know, i was just being an ass. i just wonder how we draw the lines you know? lines intrigue me.

    i have a very small circle of intimate friends and a very large circle of people i know. somewhere in between are the people i’m getting to know who are becoming intimate friends. i’ve gotten a lot slower to grant that status as i age…

    johnny: well, if i pined after them and nothing happened there was probably a reason. i did do something about the most serious one and interestingly i think i might ask out another one from that list. but with no pressure, no expectations and no stupid crushing. how adult and healthy is that bullshit hmmm?

    they’re included in ‘dating problems’ under ‘why sass can’t get a date’ but not under ‘dumps them too easily’ :)

    ahh red headed hottie… dude is too mellow even for ME.

    okay but those shoes were SO worth those two flights of stairs! i mean they were weird and crazy and wacky and i’m so glad we did that!

    well you are cute, it’s not a lie… oh man snow. yea. smells good huh?

    hemant: thanks, i haven’t really left ever i just wasn’t paying as much attention. funnily enough i don’t think my posting frequency changed all that much.

    yeah fair enough, you do have to find ways to make decisions after all…

    and you know what? i would be judgemental of those people too, those people suck. those people were even good at email until they got a blog!

    Comment by sassinak — October 13, 2006 @ 6:22 pm | Reply

  27. Yay, look at me…I made it over here!!! Between playing with the new hairdo, sleeping in, the munchkin and my mum stealing the comp so she can blog, i’m amazed…but here I am.
    Now…judging people…it’s one of those things that we all detest but still do. It’s easier to judge than have to see things from a different perspective, it’s quicker to decide in 30 seconds how someone will benefit your life than to have to be open minded. It’s personally validating our own views when we judge someone because they have opposing views to us. Doesn’t make it right, and i’m not saying we are all evil for doing it, we are just human. And to be fair, 90% of us don’t go and want to kill someone because they happen to believe in something we don’t. But we do judge based on the little things and probably do ourselves and others an injustice by closing the opportunities of a relationship in whatever capacity based on first impressions. But we also aren’t always judging either. I may not like someone for a lot of reasons, doesn’t mean i’m judging them, just means I don’t like them…
    WTG on finishing this April post :)
    Cheers, Kelly

    Comment by debambam — October 13, 2006 @ 8:31 pm | Reply

  28. Ok I read most of this post at work the other day but didn’t have time to finish or comment.

    We’re all judgmental at times, I think. And that’s ok. What’s NOT ok is when we judge by generalisation and without regard to this, that or the other variable. That’s how wars get started.

    Which I think is more or less what you were saying at the end there.

    I kind of like how this post ties into the next post…whether you meant for it to or not.

    Comment by JMai — October 15, 2006 @ 1:02 am | Reply

  29. I’m such a loner, that I hate to admit it…but I just don’t usually want to get to know anyone enough to try to get in their heads. You’re such a much better person, a more caring person than I am.

    Comment by kathi — October 15, 2006 @ 1:46 am | Reply

  30. deb: yay for you! look babe we’re both busy. as long as we try right? how’s the new hair doing?

    well judgement is one of those things that’s inherent to the human condition and i really don’t think we can escape it. i just think that a LOT of people don’t believe that they’re judging and that life would be easier if they noticed.

    oh yeah i totally concur that 90% of us don’t go out and kill just for differing belief systems… but i wanted to make the parallel.. it seems harmless when it’s little but it gets out of hand!

    good point… i think … isn’t liking or not liking a judgement call? hrm. i don’t actually know but it feels like it is.

    jmai: happy work blogging.

    yes you’re right. snap decisions or refusing to admit new facts into evidence are major problems. a lot like deciding someone has weapons they don’t have and never being willing to reconsider no matter what anyone else says.

    yeah kinda, but you’re clearer.

    i didn’t mean it to but yeah, it really does :)

    kathi: why? what makes me more caring? i can point at a hundred ways that you’re ‘better’ than me and that doesn’t make either of us right. the thing is this kind of thinking is a luxury of time… time i have because i don’t have kids. and besides, if we were all the same why would we bother to blog?

    Comment by sassinak — October 15, 2006 @ 11:50 pm | Reply


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