snapshots of an idle mind

October 22, 2006

sunday stumblings

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 3:54 pm

.
i’ve got nothing but time today… no post in my head at all so we’ll just wee what comes out of my fingers. err see, i mean see.

anyway, it’s really starting to suck this driving in toronto thing. i didn’t used to be afraid for my life when i got in my car every day. i don’t remember people running red lights to the extent that the entire advanced green in the other direction gets used up.

i don’t remember so maybe people hitting my car and leaving ridiculous dings and no notes.

it’s just all gotten so much worse.

my friend b was telling me about what they did in new york city a few years ago. the mayor gave everyone a year’s notice that anyone entering an intersection against the lights or when it was congested would receive a FIVE HUNDRED dollar fine.

five hundred bucks. and they warned them for a year.

they got everyone in a uniform, retired, student, meter maid, whatever and blitzed the city… not only did they make a killing? no one enters the intersection like that any more in new york. well not no one but you know, it’s better.

do you know what the fine is here? here where intersections are clogged for ENTIRE cycles of lights by idiots who ran through on a yellow and only made it half way?

thirty seven dollars.

yup.

genius i tell you.
.

i have to get ready, da’mute and i are going climbing in ten minutes…nine and i need to brush my teeth.
.

i love being a chick that’s ready in ten minutes.

more time to blog.
.

the weather is cold and rainy today but somehow it isn’t depressing. it’s crisp and invigorating. the same weather a month ago made me depressed and now it’s delightful. i guess it’s about the leaves on the trees. once they’re down then it doesn’t feel so weird that the weather is funny and cold.

either way it smells fantastic. cold and wet and filled with leaves and rain and a hint of smoke and crispy in your nostrils.

not to mention the colors right now, the don valley is fucking gorgeous these days with the colourful leaves and the water and the bright green grass.

the food reflects the season somehow. we’re all eating squash and yams and potatoes and the fruit are shiny and hard and perfect for a cold day. apples in fall are heaven as are pumpkins and the rest of the squash family.

gourds so to speak.

i love gourds, all funky shaped with this strange alienness to them and yet they taste delicious.
.

i’m breaking up my cats. sorry let me rephrase. mouse and harriet are fine but faust is a problem. faust is the cat down the hall that’s dating my cats.

harriet will take me down the hall and stand imperiously at his door while waiting for me to let him in.

he will saunter down the hall and scratch insistently at my door until i allow him in my home.

until the other night.

the other night at 2:42am (alarm set for 9am for a tough mat class with dianne miller) after i had been sleeping for at least ninety minutes i am startled awake by the sounds of two cats having a knock down, drag out fight.

i levitate out of bed and land in the living room to see faust in my window fighting off harriet and as i arrive and shout HEY at the top of my lungs he chucks her off the window ledge and she lands five feet down and four feet out and now i’m upset.

not only is he yowling in my window loud enough to levitate me straight up in the air with my heart racing directly from a sound sleep but he’s trying to fight my cat off her own turf!

so i approach and he jumps down to my monitor and hisses at me and i take a sort of fuck off swipe at him (to tap his butt and get him on his way, not hurt him) and fucked if he doesn’t attack my hand with his nasty little claws and draw blood.

now i’m raging.

so i stomp over to the door and open it and then stomp back and just look at him and say in my iciest voice “get the fuck out of my house” and make like i’m going to swipe at him again and he jumps to the floor finally and i manage to get behind him and chase him out into the hall.

so i grab the key to his house and stomp off down the hall while muttering to myself and the little hoodlum tries to hiss me off his door!

and doing it well enough that i’m actually afraid!

so i lean way over and unlock the door sort of from above and open it and he rushes in and i’m like ‘and stay the fuck out of my house’ and shut it and lock it.

so i can’t have this. i can’t have an animal in my own home who attacks me, that’s just not okay. and i think harriet misses him but not that much, i don’t see her rushing for the door to be let out and she’s way less demanding about going to his house.

will i let them hang again? yes.

here? not if i’m sleeping or resting. that fucker goes home before bed.

soon?

not so much.
.

where the fuck is da’mute it’s 3:52 pm… ahhh here he is.

laters.

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21 Comments »

  1. 37 bucks? That just sucks….I’d be writing letters to the local paper, calling whatever department is in charge of that pathetically dismal amount and generally just makin a fuss. I’m sure if you explained the monetary gain, someone may listen :)
    And that just totally sucks about the cats. You certainly have the right to feel safe and sleep properly in your own home…
    Cheers, Kelly

    Comment by debambam — October 22, 2006 @ 8:05 pm | Reply

  2. No one clogs up the intersection anymore but you should see have fast they go through the yellow lights trying not to get stuck!

    I love NY!

    Now I find I am craving butternut squash!

    Comment by Madame X — October 23, 2006 @ 10:20 am | Reply

  3. deb: yeah how pathetically useless is that? it’s like more pointless than an appendix. i’m really dismayed that anyone thinks that’s a legitimate fine. i think it’s because it’s a by-law and not a federal law or there’s some reason i just can’t remember.

    i notice that harriet isn’t agitating to go visit faust nearly as much as she once would have!

    madame: rofl!

    oh man what a lovely mental image. still in nyc i can cross at a crosswalk and not have to play slalom the suvs… so it’s working.

    i too love ny.

    yay for craving seasonal vegetables!

    Comment by sassinak — October 23, 2006 @ 12:20 pm | Reply

  4. Ha ha ha ha!! But, you should try driving in Rome…

    Bloody hell!

    My Best Friend M & I are often taking the piss out of the Italian (Sorry – I know you are too) drivers for just how self centred and unaware of other drivers they are (On the plus side they have great reactions ;^)

    Even crossing the small town I live in to get to the station is like driving an obstacle course…

    My cats do that too! They’ve lived together for, what, 6 years but they still hate each other. If one is sleeping on the bed & the other jumps up…Eeeooowwwwhhh! I’m – WTF!!!! =8^0

    Comment by Isabello — October 23, 2006 @ 4:33 pm | Reply

  5. nasty cat! they can be quite scary when they get into stalking tiger mode. you should have got a wooden chair just like at the circus. you know? and a whip in the other hand……. surely a woman who owns a vinyl catwoman costume also has a whip someplace handy….?…!…..LOL. ‘fess up now girl. (hint: it’s on the top shelf in the closet)

    Comment by gabriella — October 23, 2006 @ 9:17 pm | Reply

  6. Okay that cat is way too much!

    I just had this convo with a friend when we went pumpkin hunting at a huge pumpkin patch… she insisted that you cannot eat a gourd, I was pretty sure that you can but not sure how since I never have..so Sassalicious how does one eat a gourd?

    Comment by HuneeB — October 23, 2006 @ 10:13 pm | Reply

  7. bello: are you crazy? DRIVE in rome? maybe on a moped but that’s about it.

    the thing with the romans is that almost all the drivers there ARE italian so they’re used to it and expecting it. but here they’re from fucking everywhere and none of them are bothering to learn the rules here and it’s getting just ridiculous.

    i was never scared in a car driven by an italian in italy… but when the romans come here? they scare the shit out of me. (that said, i haven’t been in rome in a few years)

    my two cats get along is the weird part, but there’s the cat down the hall and he’s sort of crazy and they get in fights… mine play fight but they’re clearly just playing.

    :)

    gabi: yeah man he’s a bit feral as it is and i’m kind of afraid of him as it is.

    he’s here now, he snuck in… but he’s going home before bed that’s for sure!

    um… do i have to answer this question? i’ll tell you i looked in the closet and that if i have a whip it isn’t there…

    ;>

    hunee: yeah the cat is a trip that’s for sure!

    well if it’s most kinds of squash the easiest way is to split them in half and flip them upside down and roast them.. but they’re dead easy.

    tell your friend that a cucumber is a gourd *grin*

    Comment by sassinak — October 23, 2006 @ 10:27 pm | Reply

  8. if it’s not in the closet, then where is it? that whipper snapper is someplace. perhaps it fell behind the bed? it’s languishing amongst the dust bunnies and dinosaur nests.

    alternative: supersoaker.

    problem with all these water devices is that they need priming before shooting. once the offending animal gets squirted a couple of times, it runs like heck as you are getting the soaker gun ready. this accomplishes the original objective but gives no satisfaction. alas. a bit of revenge has something to recommend it…….{^=^} don’t ask me what that means. looks jackolantern like.

    Comment by gabriella — October 24, 2006 @ 5:27 am | Reply

  9. Hey, Sass… if you hate driving in Toronto, why not get rid of the car? My 5 years there were all car-free, and it was the easiest thing, not to mention economical and better for the environment. I never got stuck in rush hour, rented cars when I had to head home for holidays and the such, and it really worked out quite nicely. If the roads are getting to be that stressful for you, maybe it’s something to consider? Enjoy the fact that you live in a city where such a choice is possible! I’d be waiting for an hour for the next bus to take 45 minutes to drive around the corner. Sigh.

    Comment by Sweet Li'l Gal — October 24, 2006 @ 7:18 am | Reply

  10. gabi: i have cats that like to lose things yaknow? so harriet probably played with the object i’m not admitting i own and it’s probably exactly there, behind teh bed :)

    supersoaking faust… damm that sounds like so much fun … but you’re right, he’s too smart for it!

    sweet gal that would be an awesome idea if i worked 9-5 at one place but i don’t. today alone i will work at 5 different places, one of them twice. the ttc is lovely but for downtown it fucking sucks to get anywhere. it takes me sometimes 30 minutes on ttc and 5 in the car. or 15/25 in the car and 40/60 on transit.

    so basically i can’t afford the time.

    Comment by sassinak — October 24, 2006 @ 9:08 am | Reply

  11. I am also ready in no time at all most of the time cause I don’t do all the hair and make-up thing every time I am gona step out the door. Ugh…it seems like slavery when women feel they must wear make-up when they are in public. You know, I once knew this girl who always did her make-up to an inch of perfection. One day, I guess she was late getting up and came to work au naturel and everyone kept asking her if she felt ok cause she looked sick. ROTFL… imagine that! That people think your natural state looks sick because you do the make-up thing like that’s your natural state. Ick…anyway…I am ranting here :)

    -N

    Comment by Natalia — October 24, 2006 @ 9:08 am | Reply

  12. hey i’m willing to wear makeup i just don’t think it’s essential to make me into an attractive woman. i do like it in winter when i don’t have all that natural sun glow on my skin… then mascara and lip gloss seem sorta required :)

    i knew that girl… and i always felt bad for anyoen who had to hide themselves so.

    hell my old roomie did her face to go get groceries. minimum half an hour to get ready for the GROCERY STORE!

    that said i have one friend who has SUCH pale eyelashes that she looks sick without mascara. but that’s mascara not full warpaint!

    rant on babe

    Comment by sassinak — October 24, 2006 @ 4:49 pm | Reply

  13. You live in Canada. There are like 12 people there, on a good day. Geesh. Driving lonely roads, nothing but snow, elk, and beer cans littering the road. Ahh, a paradise.

    Comment by Casually Me — October 24, 2006 @ 6:33 pm | Reply

  14. Oh gosh, this had me laughing…….I’m so sorry you were woken up by cats fighting…..

    and then he scratched you?

    Hell no…….that cats got to go.

    Comment by Kristen — October 24, 2006 @ 7:32 pm | Reply

  15. Really a cucumber is a gourd? Geez prob something I should know being a vegi and all… I was thinking of the rock hard things that are all funny shapes and tend to be smaller in size comes in lots of colors…those gourds. What do those taste like?

    Comment by HuneeB — October 24, 2006 @ 9:03 pm | Reply

  16. yeah I just realized I was THAT lazy not to type vegetarian out. Sad.

    Comment by HuneeB — October 24, 2006 @ 9:04 pm | Reply

  17. cas: yeah you live in the usa which means you revere paris hilton and think that brad pitt is a role model. just like there’s no care in canada *g*

    kj: good i’m glad, it was supposed to!

    yeah dude that cat is not allowed in my house at night any more.

    hunee: yeah, so is squash and pumpkin and the things they make bottles from.

    i think not all of them are edible but i can’t say for sure… there are a ton of edible squashes but i’d say if it’s at the grocery store it’s probably yummy roasted.

    hunee redux: whatever, respect the carpal tunnel

    Comment by sassinak — October 25, 2006 @ 12:25 am | Reply

  18. wow…i would have kicker that damn pussy as far as i could see. And as far as letting it in again…no way. If a any animal takes a swipe at me that is a guest in my house the only way I will let them back in is as chinese food.

    Comment by honkeie2 — October 25, 2006 @ 11:21 am | Reply

  19. You’re such a sweetheart. Most people (not me, mind you, lol) woulda really got ticked off and killed that cat. Just gotta set down some ground rules for that fella. :)

    Comment by kathi — October 25, 2006 @ 7:46 pm | Reply

  20. honkeie trust me i would have kicked him but i was afraid for my foot!

    he’s already snuck back in once but we exchanged evil eyes and i kicked him out at bedtime.

    kathi: i really awnted to kill him but i think kicking him out and insisting he get his ass home and snarling back at him venomously may have helped a bit.

    we’ll see.

    :)

    Comment by sassinak — October 26, 2006 @ 12:28 am | Reply

  21. When my cat is acting up, a little squirt from a can of compressed air will bring her to her senses. And no, I don’t actually spray HER with the air, just in the general direction.

    Comment by Jim McKee — October 27, 2006 @ 1:22 pm | Reply


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