snapshots of an idle mind

November 5, 2006

dot dot

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 11:59 pm

i had the strangest experience today.

i had to do my first aid recert for the ski patrol [read: to keep my certification and some of my jobs] yesterday and my CPR recert today. there were maybe 16 in the group yesterday and i think 11 today.

so we have to watch this dvd and then follow along and practice with it. it’s actually much better than listening to someone try to teach you who happens to be more confused than you are. a lot of positive changes to the cpr methodologies this year too.

anyway i whip out my mat and lie down and N (instructor) says “all right but if you start snoring that’s it!” and i laugh and the dvd starts and that’s it. so then we have to do some practice on the dummies and N says “oh we have to wake her up” and i reply:

“excuse me but i’m hypermobile and it hurts to sit in a chair so i lie down” and this old man across from me joins in.

he says “are you single?”

and i say “of course i am”

and he says “it’s no wonder, you’re very high maintenance”

seriously? you’re allowed to say that kind of shit to people these days? people you’ve known for a whole day? and the thing is? that’s extra cruel from the perspective of a single woman who was hoping to have children and is currently giving it up.

it’s like kicking a dog when it’s down.

and how is it okay to even say that category of thing to women anymore? if we act like people with actual personalities we’re high maintenance but if we don’t we’re pushovers and clingy. seriously y’all? make up your fucking minds and shut the fuck up about it while you’re at it.

i’m making my peace with my total undateableness but why do i have to hear about it from a mean old man?

yes of course i responded. i said something then and then about five minutes later i said “i’m sorry, i know i’m interrupting but i just can’t let this go. that was a very hurtful thing you said to me and you have no right to speak to people like that” and he just stared at me oblivious.

so later when he tried to comment on something first aid related to me i said “please don’t talk to me, you have nothing to say that i want to hear” and now he looks surprised.

you can insult me and then talk to me like i’m perfectly fine with you? whatever.

this is extra irritating because i got less than two hours of awake to enjoy my happy bliss from last night and then i got stepped on by a mean old man.

stuff doesn’t usually hit me that hard but this was like someone ripping off a bandaid with no notice. y’all i’m going to reel from this for a while… and i know gabi will tell me to grow a thicker skin and she’s right but well, i haven’t done that yet.

bliss you ask?

othercat took me to see the afro-cuban all-stars last night at massey hall and boy. was it fucking awesome.

we’re talking about a band that takes the stage and gathers you up and doesn’t let you go again until it’s an hour later and they tell you to go have a beer and come back.

i actually watched them with my mouth hanging open in shock and my body grooving to the rhythm. it’s unfortunate that massey isn’t made for dancing or i would have done more of it but i got in a little.

i was… entranced.

they played two sets and an encore but it was a lot more like three sets than anything and there were SO MANY musicians. people who range in age from 13 to 83 came out on stage, everyone from a 23 year old female cuban rapper (clapper) to an 83 year old legendary crooner were singing and grooving for us.

othercat got off the most on the trumpet player but for me it was the drummers. especially the timbale player who was holding it all together. at one point the three drummers were playing together and my hands were going apeshit on my knees along with them.

ahhh good times.

i’ve seen the trinity pic but i don’t have it yet…

it does my outfit justice.

i’m running out of things to say here. i feel like i’ve gotten most of the things i think about regularly off my chest. i also feel, incidentally, that this blog will go through quiet times and then come back again and that this is a quiet time.

in hockey terms? it’s a ‘building year’ [no idea how long mine is though]

speaking of hockey, i still haven’t figured out where to go hang out so i can flirt with mats sundin. don’t laugh, i think we’d actually get along well. besides, i like how he leads… and how he thinks before he answers reporters questions.

fine, i just want to meet him so i can fantasize about him. :)

also? i hear he’s fucking tall!

that is all [hubris *tm*]



  1. i’m with you there. it’s beyond me to why some people think it is perfectly alright to pass hurtful remarks. more so when they are strangers and they hardly know you from the next person on the street.

    in need of a better word here (or maybe not), they are just cunts. and don’t let these people, whom you dont give two hoots about, get you down.

    you’d enjoy the quiet times – i did. and i realised that, if you love doing something, be it writing or whatever, you’d never give it up, no matter what.


    Comment by stonednerd — November 6, 2006 @ 3:00 am | Reply

  2. That man said that to you because you are a woman. He’d never say something like, “Dude you just blew your nose in your hand no wonder you’re still single.” to a man.
    Mostly because it’s acceptable for men to be single it is still not acceptable for a woman to be single.
    He figured that you being single and a woman you’d need help figuring out why that was so. He actually thought he was helping you and that’s why he was shocked when you told him what was what!

    It’s also acceptable for people to be rude to women in public. Think about it. Do you know how many times I’ve heard something stupid like, “Smile what have you got to be sad about?!” from some stranger? (usually a man)
    I mean WTF?!?
    Hello, my life my emotions.

    Comment by Madame X — November 6, 2006 @ 7:31 am | Reply

  3. Sass, I don’t think you’re undateable. I think you’re a very strong women, and most men don’t want to deal with that. Even the strong men, who *could* deal with it, for the most part would rather be mentally lazy.

    All that means is, when you find your match, you will appreciate him that much more.

    Comment by Jim McKee — November 6, 2006 @ 10:04 am | Reply

  4. Firstly, you do not possess this trait of undateableness that you speak of. What people refer to as being “high maintenance” is just you being assertive and not just taking anything from anyone. And that makes you smart. And it makes you you…and ultimately it makes you happy. Cause you are not going to settle just to be with someone. Also? Loving the extra Sass dots :) And being entranced in bliss *snoopydance*


    Comment by Natalia — November 6, 2006 @ 10:13 am | Reply

  5. Sass! You are not undateable. There is a difference between someone who is not dating and someone who is undateable. Someone who goes on dates every weekend could be completely undateable, which is why they have to go out and date a new person each weekend. Someone who is very dateable may just be selective in his/her dating companions. This may lessen the frequency that the person in question dates, but never the potential dating quality of that person. Of course, it is easy to glibly throw out compliments, so I will take inventory of several highly desireable qualities that you possess as a dateable person:

    passionate about work, friends, and enjoying life
    physically active
    enjoys music, movies, reading, etc
    enjoys camping/spending time outdoors
    enjoys new experiences in general
    can express herself well through writing
    enjoys watching sports
    enjoys playing video games
    uses the word “grok” in everyday conversation

    And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I wouldn’t consider you high maintenance. You are an excellent blend of both feminine and masculine interests and qualities. You can hang stride-for-stride with the guys without ever surrendering what makes you a great gal. Screw what one jerk thinks. Six billion people, right?

    Comment by john — November 6, 2006 @ 12:29 pm | Reply

  6. You are a great date, Sass, and eminently dateable.
    This undateable stuff is hogwash.

    You will find your fella, or he will find you, just keep the eyes and mind open.

    And screw that wrinkly old wiener. Just because you scare him to death doesn’t mean he should be able to get to you like that. Wash him out of your hair and go out and enjoy this last warm-wave! Is that a “grow a thicker skin” comment? Maybe, but I do think you shouldn’t take his comments so deeply to heart.

    Get some ice cream and jump in some leaves.

    Very jealous of your Afro-Cuban experience.
    They are AMAZING!

    Happy November!


    Comment by Johnny Canuck — November 6, 2006 @ 3:04 pm | Reply

  7. What you high maintenance…not likely! You should have kicked him. If you point him out to me i will.

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2006 @ 3:24 pm | Reply

  8. ps this is tasha

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2006 @ 3:24 pm | Reply

  9. nothing like an obliviously obnoxious old man to rain on a parade … and while I don’t think you’re high maintenance, I would love to take you in regularly for a good tune-up ;)

    hmm … that was a very weak innuendo … but it remains … lol

    Comment by DZER — November 6, 2006 @ 7:22 pm | Reply

  10. no no no. you need to cultivate the ‘look of death’.

    we can practice. stare the fuckers down. make them wish there was a hole opening up in the firmament into which they can crawl.

    or you could get nasty “I see the viagra is giving you some unusual side effects.”

    Comment by gabriella — November 6, 2006 @ 9:11 pm | Reply

  11. I find that, more and more often, people who do not know you at all find that it’s perfectly acceptable to say all sorts of things to you. It’s weird.

    I’m glad you confronted him, because he should be aware that he can’t just go round saying anything to anyone. I’m pretty sure Madame X has it right with the whole single women thing. Men can be so obnoxious and supercilious.

    I probably would have let it go the second time if it was a statement related purely to the class, but that’s me.–>

    Comment by JMai — November 6, 2006 @ 10:52 pm | Reply

  12. A good friend has spent time with Sundin and seen him in action… you don’t want to go there. Unless it’s in fantasies. In which case you should always go there.

    I’m sorry to hear about that rude and inappropriate man. I can totally relate to a person’s random insensitivity (and utter shock at why you might be offended) triggering an emotional downward spiral. People can be fucks.

    I meant to tell you that I watched the OC… and had a very good laugh at your expense. Posting will not do this justice, so remind me to tell you next time we talk.

    Comment by Princess Valium — November 7, 2006 @ 1:19 am | Reply

  13. The Afro-Cuban All-Stars would be a great show and I’m very envious of you getting to see them in a small venue. Damn that vibe would have filled everyone up!

    As for ignoramusses :( The best method for shitheads like that is a quick snappy comeback that reduces them to the little turd that they are. And I’m sure next time that your lovely brunette head will conjure something and instead of smothering it, pull the friggin trigger and give him both barrels. Assholes like that deserve no less. And even if he isn’t an asshole all of the time and was just having an off day. Asshole behaviour deserves the same. Yeah, I realize that I’m not endorsing constructive positive behaviour, but that isn’t always the correct choice either.

    Btw, I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while. Are you a left hand or right hand shot?



    Comment by pyrhonik — November 7, 2006 @ 1:41 am | Reply

  14. nerd: heya

    yeah honestly it baffles me, and although this was personally hurtful to me it’s also a social commentary. i mean where on earth do people get off thinking that sort of thing is okay? i can’t call him a cunt, it’s insulting to women *g*

    interesting… i think you’re right, i’ll never stop writing i’ll just have times where i write more or less…

    madame: i know. being female and being fat and having an indian/pakistani accent seem to be about the only things left we’re ‘allowed’ to make fun of. he had made a similarly misogynistic comment the previous day and everyone just laughed. i don’t get it.

    i’d love to know how if there’s more women than men it’s okay for MEN to be single. fuckers. do you really think he thought he was helping? he looked so smug and satisfied that i find it hard to imagine.

    and yeah, i actually know because i get the same kind of shit. what because i’m pretty and i have muscles everything is peachy keen? whatfucking ever.

    jim: i’ve noticed. there’s a very small pool for me and most of the ones in my pool are over in the big pool with the easy ones…

    sweetie i adore you for thinking i’m matchable but as i finish up my fourth year in a row without being asked out you’ll forgive me if i don’t believe it…

    Comment by sassinak — November 7, 2006 @ 11:29 am | Reply

  15. nat: i may not be undateable but i’m certainly not in the pool. i’m sure partly i’m hanging out in the wrong places so i’m trying to expand my horizons… nonetheless at approaching the four year mark it becomes clear that it is something about me ne?

    and don’t worry, i’m not going to change, it’s still better to be yourself than to pretend to be someone you aren’t!

    entranced in bliss is perfect!

    john: i know that there is a difference… but you imply that there is choice. choice moves in when you have choices. if no one asks you out and no one you are interested in is interested back you don’t have choice… you have nothing. you have less than nothing because even your ‘secret crush’ men don’t want you… it’s lovely that married men think that i’m excellent but in the long run that’s not really a wise dating pool to hang out in…

    as for the qualities that you’ve listed? all true i’m afraid. maybe it’s like being overqualified for a job *g*

    and frankly it’s how i think of myself… but it’s getting hard to believe that there are men for me out there in the six billion people. it’s why i’ve checked out of the dating pool (my crush on mats sundin notwithstanding…) … i mean dudes a pvc catsuit doesn’t get me dates you know?

    johnny: thanks darlin’ … unfortunately the ones who get along with my brain don’t seem to do it for my body more’s the pity.

    honestly that kind of comment wouldn’t get to me if i wasn’t already so hopeless in the dating pool. if i felt i had even a smidgen of hope then i wouldn’t be affected at all. but i don’t. i am hopeless. and i love that you all insist that i maintain hope i really do and i don’t think i’ll ever successfully STOP looking at pretty boys… but i’ve made my peace with it… it’s just the kids that are hard to let go of.

    mmmm leaf jumping! good idea!

    and you should be jealous, they’re TRANCING!

    Comment by sassinak — November 7, 2006 @ 1:30 pm | Reply

  16. tasha: i’m too ladylike to kick little old men. even if they deserve it.

    dzer: it was weak but it still worked! lol

    gabi: i did reply with something relatively pithy but there is no doubt that he was the winner of the exchange. i also gave him the look of death whenever he caught my eye but i don’t think any of it sank in.

    ohhhhhhhhhhh LOVE the viagara comment!

    jmai: i wonder if it’s our growing sense of human claustrophobia. too many people and no one paying attention so people get more and more obnoxious for attention?

    i think madame has it right too but i’d be interested to hear a single man’s perspective…

    i wanted to let it go but i just couldn’t… and in spite of class having started i had to say something…

    Comment by sassinak — November 7, 2006 @ 1:34 pm | Reply

  17. PV: so we’ve chatted and determined that it is not mats sundin your friend had an admittedly uncomfortable experience with… i just feel obliged to mention it here because well, otherwise we’ve slandered a man who appears quite nice.

    and yes, i actually want to go there… and not because he’s a hot famous hockey player although that doesn’t hurt.

    i don’t understand why people just do that sort of thing, i think they get off on the misery of others and frankly i just don’t see the point. does that really make their lves any better?

    pyr: they were awesome, not once did the same combination of players perform and they had all these great little dance moves too. entrancing, i don’t have a better word.

    well i said something like ‘where do you patrol?’ and he said ‘nowhere’ and i said ‘gee i’m shocked’ but really he kicked my ass on the snappy comebacks.

    nope, he is an asshole all the time i heard it as gossip later on…

    with a gun? i put the gun against my right shoulder and my left hand on the barrel.. what does that mean?

    Comment by sassinak — November 8, 2006 @ 7:36 am | Reply

  18. Ever since Dan Ayckroyd did his “Jane, You Ignorant Slut!” routine on SNL, people have felt enabled to say almost anything in public. I have called you “high maintenance” myself, but only in jest. If I really believed what I said, I’d keep my mouth shut and make tracks instead. The old adage to say nothing if it’s not nice holds true, and not enough people remember that these days.

    Anyway, who gives a damn what the old geezer says anyway? He sounds like a classic male chauvinist. You would be better off to ignore shitheads like that instead of letting it irritate you.

    Some folks make comments like that because they’re naturally combative, and like nothing more that starting a fight. Don’t indulge them.

    Comment by othercat — November 9, 2006 @ 11:38 am | Reply

  19. other: you know i’ve never seen that and i’d really like to. it might even be funny since it’s jane curtin and all.

    you’ve called me high maintenance in jest but you’ve also told me i’m embarrassing in restaurants. don’t think that was any easier to swallow.

    i wish people would think for one second before they did things, whether it was say something or change lanes or make a pass at a single woman while your wife is in the other room. especially when the single woman is friends with your wife… yeesh that’s fun.

    no one thinks anymore, they just go around doing whatever they want and damm the consequences. it’s getting harder and harder to live in a group.

    dude he was an asshole, but you go years on end with no one asking you out and see how you feel if someone says something like that to you…

    oh fuck you’re right, i indulged him.


    Comment by sassinak — November 9, 2006 @ 3:53 pm | Reply

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