snapshots of an idle mind

November 24, 2006


Filed under: exercise,life,random,Uncategorized — sassinak @ 12:05 pm


i have been sleeping badly for days.

what’s interesting about this are the things that are also happening:

i’m craving bad food.

i’m staying up too late.

i’ve given my privates with my teacher away to my clients twice in the last month.

i’m watching a lot of tv.

i’m cranky.

i don’t feel like exercising.

i wake up at least five times every night.  for a while.

i haven’t been doing my pilates homework.

i’ve gained some weight.

i keep hurting myself climbing (falling) which is not helping matters.

i don’t feel like climbing (see above for why.)

i’m being a stress puppy for whatever reason.

i’m not being nice to my friends… and that leads to a vicious circle big time.

i’m exhausted.

i’m having trouble making work phone calls that i *need* to make.

generally, i just feel like shit. this means that teaching is a lot harder because i have to work way more to find the teacher inside myself. i teach from deep within me in a place that i need to be okay to find.

otherwise i have to teach from my brain and that can get me in to a lot of trouble.

i mean it’s not that i’m bad when i teach from my brain instead of that magical other place it’s that i’m not magical. and i can tell when i’m not magical because the response isn’t as good. it’s still good but it’s not as good.

i’ve taught exhausted and still been magical before but the rest of it wasn’t there to go with it. this combination of poor nutrition and lack of sleep and exercise is putting a sharp edge on me.

an edge i thought i might have gotten rid of after i was mostly fixed from my accident.

i guess just getting in shape doesn’t fix those things, i guess you have to put your brain and you heart into shape as well. what’s unfortunate is that cardio doesn’t fix your heart.

well it does, but not the emotional part.

okay that too a little because it gives you endorphins and gets your blood circulating more easily and that helps you sleep better.

both times i was supposed to do cardio this week i was thwarted. i was going to go wednesday but my early client cancelled and i didn’t successfully drag myself out of bed.

this morning? some fucking child peed in the pool and it was closed so they could shock clean it.

it reopened, just in time for aquafit but not in time for me.

i guess i could take an aquafit class but … how to put this… i’ve seen the participants and i fear i would fail to find it challenging. i actually whined out loud when i saw the pool closed sign.

loud enough someone behind me asked what was wrong.

i really needed the swim.



  1. how about a rigorous sleep hygiene routine? huh? i’ve found that the best overall cure for depression is maintaining regular sleep/wake hours. no one functions well when they are pseudo jetlagged all the time.

    sleep hygiene is a start. then self discipline.

    it does work.

    and yes, i know, i sound like an old school marm. but those marms knew a thing or two.

    Comment by gabi — November 24, 2006 @ 5:17 pm | Reply

  2. um… what’s sleep hygiene?

    Comment by sassinak — November 24, 2006 @ 5:55 pm | Reply

  3. See, I’ve seen heaps of stuff change because i’m doing the whole fitness thing. I’m sleeping better, have more energy, girly pains aren’t so bad, appetite is increasing and my general outlook on life has greatly improved.
    Of course all that could be a result of my decision to take back charge of my life and redefine everything :)
    Either that or the excess sunshine is doing something freaky to me and my body.
    Anyway, hope your out of this funk soon, I been there and it’s not pretty sometimes.

    Comment by debambam — November 25, 2006 @ 9:56 am | Reply

  4. Sass I think you need a stint out in nature babe…take a long hike or go to the lake and sudo camp or rent a cabin with othercat for the weekend. You need to relax and refresh because somewhere along the line it got stale on you. Take a time out doing something out of the everyday (like teaching, climbing, swimming) and do something that you enjoy yet rarely get to do…

    Comment by huneeb — November 25, 2006 @ 2:29 pm | Reply

  5. For me cardio is the thing. Regular cardio cures my insomnia and gets me eating better, my tastes actually change (for the better) with regular cardio. And of course it improves my mood. It sucks that the pool was closed that day. Maybe you can work out an emergency back up plan of alternate places to swim on your cardio days? I can’t wait to get back to swimming myself. It just makes everything better. Getting out into nature is a fabulous idea as well.

    Comment by Clarity — November 25, 2006 @ 11:00 pm | Reply

  6. I’m with the nature thing. Like I said on Hubris’ blog the other day “I want to run off to the forest and listen to the trees groan.” I keep deferring my own encounters with nature, and it’s wearing on me. The city is wearing on me, and it’s a grey depressing time of year. I just hope I can find enough colour to liven things up. If I can bring a friend along to share it with, so much the better. Let’s go to Ted’s for supper, and take the scenic route to get there.

    Comment by othercat — November 26, 2006 @ 5:40 pm | Reply

  7. gabi: i’ve never doubted for a second that ‘old wives tales’ have a lot of great knowledge in them, but i really don’t know what sleep hygiene is. and if it means always going to bed at the same time and always waking up at the same time it leaves me the choice of cancelling my 6:30am client or somehow no longer working evenings… dunno how to do that.

    deb: nope those are all side-effects of increased endorphins from exercise… but cardio does it a lot better than muscle building and i don’t take as naturally to cardio.

    i think you made a great decision… you can tell cause it’s causing positive changes…

    i’m not really funky or depressed you know. just feeling quiet and introspective and introverted… i’m just so the other way most of the time that everyone thinks i’m sick :)

    huneeb: i have this stupid schedule with no days off. i’m going to cancel my sunday class in the summer and then quit it. i love the girls in it but i just cannot bear it any longer.

    i’ll cry on the last class i bet.

    until then i have to just fight on. i do need to take some time off but i’m poor too so it’s a lose-lose. might bet better though…

    Comment by sassinak — November 27, 2006 @ 1:50 pm | Reply

  8. clarity: oh yeah, the little bit of cardio that i did made me feel so much better that i’m convinced, it’s just really hard to do. plus the holiday overeating is starting now and i’m already over eating.. it’s a scary one.

    i’ve recently learned there are recumbent bikes at the jcc…

    othercat: okay. sold. i’m free saturday after 12:45…

    maybe we can visit the farm too? and go on a long ramble in the woods in the late afternoon?

    Comment by sassinak — November 27, 2006 @ 1:53 pm | Reply

  9. I hope this isn’t another funk! That would suck. Are you still considering moving?

    Oh yah, I tagged ya!


    Comment by pyrhonik — November 27, 2006 @ 2:11 pm | Reply

  10. 1. How could they tell that a child peed in the pool? I mean I’m glad they cleaned it out and such, but … I’m just sayin.

    2. Why are you blogging? Get to bed, young lady!

    Comment by Jmai — November 27, 2006 @ 5:51 pm | Reply

  11. Wow … it almost sounds like you’re turning into me … though I don’t have any climbing injuries and I’m still managing to lose more weight, albeit slowly.

    feel better soon darlin’ … get some sleep and swim time … *smooches*

    Comment by DZER — November 27, 2006 @ 9:50 pm | Reply

  12. You know I was going to ask the same thing about the pool…

    Yeah you are going to do something nature filled! Sass I just know you will be happy on Saturday or feel 100X better if not only for a day!! Have fun at the farm.

    Comment by huneeb — November 28, 2006 @ 11:43 am | Reply

  13. funks suck. they just do.

    sounds like some time off is very much in order…

    Comment by terry — November 29, 2006 @ 8:56 pm | Reply

  14. pyr: it isn’t, i’m just tired and not sleeping well… but it’s also fall and hibernation is upon us…

    and i did it!

    jmai: i have no idea and i don’t want to either… but we all swam in pee and it didn’t hurt us, just clean it at night and who cares. [there’s a chemical you can add to pools that changes colour with urine, so probably that]

    that was pm not am darlin’

    dzer: heh, maybe. i find that ‘no exercise’ for me is still more than average though…

    trying to sleep and did get some swimming which helps a lot.

    hunee: ah well…

    we did! we went for a nice drive and othercat posted pics!

    terry: yes.

    and double yes.

    need a vacation is what i need.

    Comment by sassinak — December 3, 2006 @ 7:09 pm | Reply

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