snapshots of an idle mind

December 24, 2006

pressure valve

Filed under: life,random,seasonal — sassinak @ 5:46 pm


my sister and i are gearing up for christmas eve at my cousin’s house. an evening about which we are both stoked that involves seeing several members of our close extended family and eating and drinking to excess.

although we are both stoked we are in need of gearing up in order to deal. for example, we cannot run from a raucous christmas party to a gathering of italians, this would kill us. instead she is reading and i am blogging with beer [she’s driving! *dance of joy*] and us3 is playing quietly on the stereo.

before i was blogging i was wrapping christmas presents and before that we were on the phone with my parents and before we had pizza nova and before that that she was hanging out with some old friends and i was cleaning my apartment before which i was having brunch with othercat and pj.

last night she hung with old friends and other/pj and i went for korean and everyone is basically just enjoying some great time spent with blood and chosen family. and that’s where i get confused.

i keep hearing about how christmas has turned into a time of rampant commercialism and excess and that people have lost the spirit and i guess that’s true for some people but it doesn’t seem like the way to bet.

most of the people i know are reconnecting with people about whom they care very much and that they have not seen in a long time. sometimes distance is a factor and sometimes it’s just changing life circumstances but people drift. heck i’ve seen othercat and pj more this week than in the last month combined… and that’s awesome.

it’s been really great to reconnect with them. i’m also seeing flower and my sister and princess valium and clarity (i know i have to call you!) and tommer (yes, that tommer) and da’mute and othercat is having a gathering and my sister and i are making a gorgeous dinner tomorrow and there’s stupid amounts of christmas libations and chocolate.

heck last night alone a deadly amount of chocolate and cookies passed through my face.

and isn’t that the point?

isn’t this the time when we’re supposed to let loose and overindulge and loosen our waistbands?

pile pointed out just the other day that he does *not* care why we celebrate the season just that we do in fact celebrate it. because, after all, how many seasons do we get to celebrate? exactly. this one. (and thanksgiving if you’re american…)

i mean i’m even getting another footgasm at the same place!

i’m eating all the things that i’m supposed to resist and my gut is hanging over my waistband. from an evolutionary perspective this is ideal heading into a season of privation. haven’t you ever noticed how it’s easy to diet in february and brutal in november?

seems logical huh?

*looks down to admire gut*

this is the only time of the year where i can rampantly gain weight and not care.  it’s definetely the only time that i can look down at a roll over my normally well fitting pants and giggle contentedly to myself.

i know that i’ll shape up in the new year, i know that by may i’ll be sitting at my end of summer weight and that at the end of summer this year i’ll be ten pounds lighter than i was at the end of summer last year… and that seems pretty healthy to me.  especially considering that i only ever go UP at christmas to the end of summer of two years back…

so i gain twenty pounds in the fall, lose it in the winter and ten more in the summer and start again.

that strategy, by the way, has caused me to lose sixty pounds in four years… and to keep my body happier than it’s ever been.  amazing what just letting your body have it’s way with you does as you learn to listen to it.

works for me!


December 21, 2006

attention christmas shoppers

Filed under: life,random,seasonal — sassinak @ 12:26 am


i will be shopping in the next few days.

my mission is simple, to get gifts for the people closest to me for whom i can afford gifts. the list starts at my sister and othercat and expands as funds are gained.

this works as long as i’m realistic about how much money i have.

but here’s the thing, people are so cranky when they’re out shopping, like it never even occured to them that the stores might just possibly maybe if you’re not paying attention kinda sorta like maybe BE FUCKING PACKED?!?!?!?!

nope, they’re mad they have to wait in line

mad that the dressing rooms have a lineup

annoyed by the mess on the bargain table

sighing lustily at the overstuffed lady in front of them (i refer to her excessive packages and nothing else)

wishing people who walked slowly were banned from malls

not enjoying the season for what it is.

i don’t care that it’s a ‘christian holiday’ because it’s also a pagan holiday and a turning of the earth and a time celebrated in many northern cultures long before christianity.

the world is turning and the sun is coming again! pool your resources and give gifts to your friends in joy and exultation.

feast on the last of the things that won’t keep well over winter and rich winter stores and preserves.

gorge and get fat on the last of the harvest times for the privation ahead.

it’s lovely.

how many times do we get to just flat out take time off and celebrate?

hug the people we love?

gather in groups of folks who love us with all of our flaws hanging out?

do nice things just because?

and that’s what’s missing in the christmas shopping frenzy.

i’m shopping too you know but i’m having a nice time and commisserating with the sales clerks and waiting in line while amusing the people around me.

and annoying some of them i’m sure.

but i’m actually happy to be there… i imagine the looks on people’s faces when they open whatever i’ve conjured up for them. i wonder if they’ll love it or not… i hope that it lives up to the hype and i just get happier and happier.

i don’t care if i get any presents at all.

okay that isn’t true exactly, i love getting presents, i love it like you can’t imagine. but i don’t care if i don’t get any, it really and truly does not matter to me.

i love giving stuff away. are you kidding? watching people get a kick out of presents is the best thing ever.

well it is.

but still, if you’re going shopping in the next few days? please remember, i’ll be there too and i don’t want your mood to step on my cheer.

seriously, don’t make me spike your eggnog.

December 18, 2006


Filed under: hockey,life,tv,Uncategorized — sassinak @ 2:50 am

so as you all know it’s kind of busy around the universe right now because christmas and hanukkah and solstice and so on are just around the corner. as you also know i’m laid up due to a bum ankle. what’s funny is that blogging wise the effect is the same.

it hurts to sit at my computer for any great length of time and i have so much work email and crap to deal with that blogging is slipping. the good news is that i really miss it so i’ll for sure be back after the holidays and after i can sit at my desk again.

rich readers are invited to donate oldish laptops i can install unix on and the problem will be solved forever.

anyway part of my homework is to stick my ankle in the air a lot so i’ve been watching the tube a lot more than usual. i’ve rented and seen all of season one of supernatural and season one, two and the first disc or two point five of battlestar galactica.

please don’t spoil me if you’re past the third episode of season two point five (about 12 in season two if you saw it on tv… please?) and oh my christ is this show ever good. seriously, even if you don’t like science fiction it’s worth watching.

just amazing, has me riveted to my seat, if i start a dvd i can’t turn it off and i’m even late for stuff because of it!

but see, i’ve ALSO been watching hockey.

a lot of hockey.


and i don’t usually watch that much hockey until after christmas because really, who the hell gives a shit about regular season hockey?

well yes, last year was an anomaly because there had been this year off thingy see? and this year i’ve seen at least ten games anyway so clearly my hockey love is growing.

anyway i saw most of the carolina/leafs game on friday and the relevant chunk of the leafs/islanders game and the entire wild/canucks game on saturday. that’s a lotta hockey.

and you know what i learned? [yes other than that my crush on mats sundin is alive and kicking]


and that a rout is hard to watch? [final score leafs/rangers? 9-2 leafs]

that this is a freaking amazing game.

two teams get on the ice that i do not give a shit about. i mean othercat and i were debating who to cheer for and decided minnessota cause well they’re closer and besides they’re honorary canadians.

you have to get how little we cared right?

and we watched the entire game riveted.

riveted because it was a contest between two well matched teams with terrible uniforms and good hockey. riveted because the final score was two one and no one stopped playing for a second.

riveted because above all else othercat and i are fans of HOCKEY.

heck i’m a leafs fan and he’s a habs fan and our teams can be playing against EACH OTHER and if his team scores a really awesome goal?

i’ll applaud.

and i do do.not.

and you know what else? if the leafs score an awesome goal?

he’ll applaud. and he feels about the leafs the way i feel about the habs. but see the hockey trumps it all.

there’s something inordinantly satisfying about that. that the appreciation for a thing outweighs the expectations of a thing. no that isn’t it. but there is something magical about enjoying something so much that you would rather see it done well than not at all.

which is why when your team is kicking ass and mine doesn’t show up i will be the first to say they didn’t deserve to win.

but if my boys show up to play?

i’ll cheer for them until there’s one second left on the clock no matter how badly you beat them.

it is of course easier if they’re winning of course, but i walked around in a leafs shirt during the playoffs and the sumer last year (they didn’t make the playoffs which is getting harder to do now that eight teams per half don’t) and people would diss me and make fun of me.

i was somehow a loser for continuing to care for a team that wasn’t doing well.

i preferred the man who looked at me and said ‘thank you, they need all the support they can get right now”

fucking right buddy.  dumping a team for having a bad year is like dumping a wife because she got a little cranky while she was pregnant.  okay that second one is way worse.

any idiot can cheer for a team that’s winning.

*giggle* which they are right now! nine to two over the rangers!

*happy little hockey dance*

December 9, 2006

disguised blessings

Filed under: exercise,life,random,Uncategorized — sassinak @ 1:59 am


i think this broken ankle thing is good for me the same way that colds are good for you.

what’s that you say? colds??

yeah, i actually think colds are good for us. at least me. i only ever get them when i’m so run down i can’t fight one off.

in other words?

my body is begging for sleep and rest and vitamins… so i get sick. it’s like a bitch slap from my immune system. i always always feel much better after a cold than i did in the weeks leading up to it.

they only get you when you’re neglecting yourself.

okay mostly.

so last month i was feeling tired and run down while trying to do way too much stuff and then out of the blue i break my ankle on a route i flashed the first time i climbed it.  and i did it on a night where i was climbing badly and stupid which means i was too tired to be there.

the route is set up stupid but that’s irrelevant.

anyway the point is that my physiotherapy is to (wait for it) rest the freaking thing already!

seriously she told me to do less, to work less on healing and to drink lots of milk and to elevate and ice [only ice before bed] my ankle a lot. it’s a fracture, the healing time is pretty set so just wait… like chill dude.

this is causing me to actually schedule time off.

fucking weird isn’t it?

i mean here it is christmas time and i’m sitting at home on a friday night. i had to bail on my cousin to do it but it was totally worth it. i stuck my foot up and left it there.

god it was great.

i think sometimes we get what we need you know? i needed to take more time off desperately and it got handed to me on a silver platter.

is it annoying?

why yes, yes it is.

does it hurt?

not really except for the effects on my body. i’m falling out of balance and it’s hard to keep it together.

do i miss climbing?

honestly? no. but i will in a month or two when i’m allowed near a climbing wall again. i have learned one very important thing though.

cardio is the most boring thing ever.

well that’s not quite true, swimming is kind of fun because i can daydream and think about form. i have it on good authority that basketball is fun so that’s two but damm i sat on one of them there stationary bikes today and i wanted to kill myself.

how do people who just do cardio machines and weight lifting do it without killing themselves? climbing is so much more interesting.

hell even swimming is scintiallating conversation next to sitting on a bike staring at a tv that’s too far away to read the captioning.

but still, here’s the thing, last year about now i was tired and pushing it and celebrating the season and next week i got sick as fuck and it cost me six hundred bucks.

[my entire christmas bonus after i paid off my rent]

so maybe this is the resting to prevent the sicking?

good universe i hope so!

December 4, 2006

piles and piles

Filed under: blogging,exercise,life,Uncategorized — sassinak @ 11:58 pm


a bunch of stuff has happened lately that’s been preventing me from blogging…

first of all the major problem here is that it’s christmas. well the holiday season.

okay that isn’t actually a problem, it’s in fact freaking wonderful actually but it’s wreaking havoc with my little routine.

take this wednesday for example, my wednesdays are always the same, i get up at the crack of dawn and go teach at 6:30 and 8:30am with an occasional 10am tossed in on top and a brisk swim from 7:45 to 8:15 and then i go home. i blog, i relax, i maybe have some food.

i sleep for a few hours and i get up. if i didn’t have food before my nap i have some now and then i go teach from 5:30 to 8:30pm. there is occasionally a 1:30pm mixed in but i arrange it so i can sleep.

i know, it sounds like the shittiest day imaginable and yet it’s one of my favourites.

usually i go climbing or go home and watch television after i do the second shift and on days without my 1:30 client i often climb in the late afternoon and then go to work. this depends largely on my climbing partner.

anyway it’s pretty set you know?

so this wednesday my 6:30am client is away so that means my usual thirty minute swim between her and my 8:30 class is kaiboshed because no matter how good my intentions? i ain’t getting up early to swim. i’ll try the recumbent bikes at work but i’m not sure how good that will be for reasons that are about to become abundantly clear.

i can’t swim after because aquafit is at 11, i will IF my 9:30 is done fast enough… doubtful, it’s a first session.

i may manage to blog this wednesday though, you see after that second class i have nothing all day. i moved my 5:30pm to friday and my 7:30pm cancelled due to inviting me to his company’s friends and family day.

why would i go to such a thing you ask?

it’s at a fucking chocolate factory!

yeah i said chocolate factory, and not the shitty kind either.

*pause for girls to clean off drool*

(yes i’m jealous of me too)

okay but see how my simple day is all weird? it’s awesomely weird but weird nonetheless and this has been happening every day.

consequently the usual holiday induced dearth of blogging is starting a bit early this year.

well that and a few other things…

let’s see:

i broke my ankle

i have two christmas parties this weekend

the one of a kind show was last weekend

i went for a drive in the country with othercat (pics!)

i made a new friend

there’s been much eating in restaurants and hanging with friends

i’ve been subbing

i’ve gotten a new client or two which steals some mental energy

i’ve been watching season one of supernatural (that takes a lot of time you know) [shut the fuck up if you watch it, i am currently UNSPOILED after season one episode 12]


oh the ankle thing? ;)

i was climbing a couple of weeks ago and there was this little chip about a foot above this very large flat handhold and my foot was on the chip and i fell and slipped at the same time and my foot slammed into the large flat hold and basically jammed my ankle bones up about a foot higher than they should be.

it bruised on the spot but i ignored it and assumed i would be fine.

but i wasn’t.

so i got an x-ray two weeks later (what? that’s what a doctor told me to do when in doubt about injuries, if it’s not improving in two weeks or gets worse in the second week go see a doctor) and i have a tiny fragment at the base of my medial malleolus (little bone that sticks out on either side of your ankle, medial means toward the middle) and tissue inflamation at the lateral malleolus (lateral is toward the outside) which is typical of an avulsion fracture.

[according to the mayo clinican avulsion fracture occurs when a ligament or tendon attached to a bone pulls away part of the bone. This may occur due to direct trauma, such as a hard tackle in football or indirect trauma…]

anyway i started to worry because deep flexings against unstable surfaces (think flipturns in swimming or scuttling around in a squat) were causing stabbing pain that was getting worse… and yeah i broke it. it’s a pathetic break but it’s broken enough that i’m off climbing for at least another month and i’m still having trouble getting swimming!

not to mention? the computer is not a comfortable place to sit if you can’t put weight on your ankle… well i can, but i don’t like it.

prognosis? you’ll be fine but your ankle is weak and your right foot and really whole right side are gonna feel twisty for a while. do lots of physio mostly to prevent the compensatory injuries and try to get in the pool…

so, as you can see, there are piles and piles and piles of little things that overall are adding up to less blogging than i like. i still love my blog and all of your blogs but my free time for the next little while will have to be spent on rice.

you know, rest ice compress elevate.


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