snapshots of an idle mind

January 5, 2007

‘ssup doc?

Filed under: dating,life — sassinak @ 11:47 pm

.

i just had a strange and wonderful evening with my friend flower. wonderful because, well, it’s flower and i like her a lot and hanging out with her is always at least good and usually awesome.

so we went to c’est what this evening for beer because we both needed a drink and that place has stellar beer choices… well at least good ones. volo is actually better.

anyway, i get there and she’s sitting at a table and we hang out and basically it’s all good except there’s this steadily growing table behind us that’s getting louder as it’s getting more filled with folks.

and then the manager or the host or whatever informs this table that they asked for a table for six and that there’s fifteen of them and that this is a problem and they get uppity and he loses the argument and leaves and then they spend like the next ten minutes getting louder and louder about how he’s obnoxious and what kind of bar doesn’t want it’s beer drinking customers actually in the establishment and and and…

[in their defence he approached rudely, in his? they were assholes]

and i say to flower ‘well i certainly don’t want to listen to their loud assed conversation that’s drowning out mine and she laughs and we discuss leaving and then realise that we’re having fun except for the loud people and we move to the bar.

at the bar there’s a cute young man who appears to be studying lines so i make a comment and pretend to try to read them (cause i’m rude like that you know) and he says he wishes it was lines but it is in fact considerably more boring and is in fact legal transcripts.

.

this is where princess valium stops reading and says ‘dude, he’s a lawyer, run’

.

and then we start chatting and somehow our datebooks come up and we end up in this [there is no way to make this sound fun but it was] playful argument about who has the better datebook and why his is better than mine and and and.

now me i think i’m flirting and i think he’s flirting back and all is going well and flower says ‘why haven’t you given him your business card?’ [out loud where he can hear] and i go ’cause he hasn’t asked for it’ and the conversation goes on for a while and then he gets a call and he has to go.

no big right?

i get up and go to the can and come back and he’s flipping my date book shut [you had to be there, this wasn’t nearly as rude as it sounds] and informs me that he’s left me a treasure to find or some comment like that.

he makes his apologies, tells us we’re fun and that if he didn’t have an appointment he would stay and hang out with us and literally shakes my hand like four times. not hers, just mine.

and foolish me thinks maybe there’s a trail of bread crumbs in my date book or something… and in fact this is what he said on the last page of the year [good thing i started at the end]:

“get a better datebook

– first initial, last name”

um what? what’s with all the flirting and the shaking my hand a million times and telling us you don’t want to leave and leaning into me for half an hour before you go?

i’m so fucking clueless about boys that i cannot tell flirting from random conversation with strangers. in my world we had a fun and challenging conversation where we learned that our brains could spar while our faces smiled… in his i was just some girl at a bar to talk to while he waited for a phone call.

how the fuck do you tell the difference?

and why the fuck would you leave me a note like that? isn’t leaving a girl a note an advancement of flirting? isn’t there supposed to be some like exchange of digits or something?

.

what’s actually ironic about this?

i know his name and what he does and remember his firm name enough to recognize it and in less than one minute flat i could actually find his info.

in fact i wonder if it takes that long.

jeopardy music plays

*googles his name and lawyer and toronto…*

*gets a million people*

*puts his name in quotes*

*spots him, first and second in google*

*checks watch*

yup, less than a minute.

i think that makes it more strange not less.

.

was i supposed to have to google him? isn’t that stalking?

.

funny, i think if he found my blog and commented that wouldn’t weird me out… but emailing him at work is weird as fuck.  why is that i wonder…

.

don’t misunderstand, this incident in and of itself is meaningless, it’s a near miss in a bar.

nobody cares.

it’s just that when you put it on top of this near miss and that near miss and the other near miss and the married and taken men who chase me and the single ones who run the other way?

it starts to make a lady feel like she has no idea what flirting is… and when a lady doesn’t know how to flirt how on earth is she supposed to have fun with the opposite sex?

and frankly? the opposite sex is a HELL OF A LOT OF FUN.

i just don’t understand the game anymore, i wonder if i ever did or if i always sucked at it but because we were all so young we dated anyway.

i know i’m not supposed to let it get to me and i know it’s all about living the good life i have and i have everything i need and yet… it gets to me.

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35 Comments »

  1. Too hard to read without capitalization.

    Comment by seneca — January 6, 2007 @ 12:02 am | Reply

  2. now why would you bother leaving a comment like that?

    Comment by sassinak — January 6, 2007 @ 12:13 am | Reply

  3. sass, you have, yet again, read my mind.

    i am SO feeling you on this. it sounds – feels – so very familiar.

    i am as lost as you are.

    *sigh.

    Comment by terry — January 6, 2007 @ 2:06 am | Reply

  4. Yaay the reurn of many sass dots. And dude…after so many years of relationships, I guess I am still as clueless as they come.

    -N

    Comment by Natalia — January 6, 2007 @ 11:26 am | Reply

  5. That’s pretty odd.
    From your description, it sure SOUNDS like you were flirting. Have you checked EVERY page of your datebook? EVERY ONE? No secret hints, or UV ink messages?
    Leaving a note like the one he left IS a little odd. Maybe it needs to be decrypted.

    Maybe you should go back there more often, see if you run into him again?
    Or is that as creepy as e-mailing him?

    Well, at least you had a fun night out!

    And the dots do add a nice pacing to the story, even with the non-capitalization. :)

    Comment by Johnny_Canuck — January 6, 2007 @ 3:16 pm | Reply

  6. Oh, and Happy New Year!

    Comment by Johnny_Canuck — January 6, 2007 @ 3:17 pm | Reply

  7. terry: it doesn’t help to know that i’m not the only one, it just makes me sadder. when did we lose the ability to connect with each other? how tragic is that?
    .
    nat: ask and ye shall receive :)

    well you met yours online, which is where i’ve met at least half of mine… so yeah.
    .
    johnny: yes, it really is. and i think i lied, i think he shook her hand once.

    and yes, i’ve checked every page, and unless it’s encoded in some dark corner that’s not immediately visible there’s nothing. one could consider his signing of his name as a secret hint right? i know his first name and he signed his last name and thus i found him… but still it feels like stalking.

    dude, it’s a weird note.

    i don’t think it’s creepy, flower and i had a good time and it seems like a joint where men i might want to flirt with hang out so i may as well go back… but it seems to me he closed the book on himself you know?

    and yes, it was fun…

    and yes, i like the dots too *g* is the non-capitalization really that weird?
    .
    johnny 2: right back atcha babee!

    Comment by sassinak — January 6, 2007 @ 3:33 pm | Reply

  8. I think he wants to be pursued. I infer that note to mean “I want to ask you out but I don’t want to be turned down.” So he gives you enough info that you can track him down and ask him out instead. It’s a game of cat and mouse. If you are interested enough, you will find him.

    Send him an email that says “I bought a new datebook. Would you like to be the first entry?” and see if he responds. If he does, great! You took a chance and it paid off. If not, oh well. You met this guy once in a bar. The chances of running into him are probably slim, so who cares what he thinks if he doesn’t reply back?

    I think he will though.

    Comment by John — January 6, 2007 @ 4:15 pm | Reply

  9. Dude. John has the best idea in the world! I think he(datebook guy) wants you to track him down as well. Really.

    Of course, that opens up a whole can of worms. Would you WANT to go out with a guy who makes you work that hard? (okay. one minute on google, no big deal, its the Principle of the thing) Here’s a guy who would NOT run out to the store to get you tampax in an emergency. Just saying.

    I’m lazy like that, so I wouldn’t bother with this dude. I mean, dude. Faint heart never won fair lady. And what’s fainter than making the girl chase you?

    But hey. what do i know? Maybe I have become my mother.

    either way, you’ve got the upper hand right now.

    Comment by diana — January 6, 2007 @ 6:43 pm | Reply

  10. I am totally with john on this one, as I was thinking the same thing. In this day of internet dating where it’s commonplace to google people before your first date (how fucking weird is that???), I don’t think it was by accident that he gave you just enough info. “hmm, let’s see how interested she really was…” Because boys may be completely random and dumb, but if he was all about shaking your hand and not even paying attention to flower, I mean you can’t be wrong about that, can you?

    Ugh, boys. I would make the contact, but subtly (just cause that’s my way). Still, it bears repeating: Ugh, boys!!!

    Comment by Jmai — January 6, 2007 @ 7:14 pm | Reply

  11. Let’s recap: you’re flirting. One of the main tenets of flirting is that you never, EVER open up. Half the game–hell, ALL the game, is guesswork. Is she? Am I? Should I? Will he?

    Am I wrong? Didn’t think so.

    So, an open invititation is out.

    You step away, and he has to go. So now he’s got to figure out what to do to let you know he’s interested, but not TOO interested, and it has to be within the flirting parameters, and he only has a few moments to work it out.

    The datebook. The only solid ground he has.

    Now the dude has write something creative, inviting, and guarded in the space of–what? One minute? Two?

    And the only safe topic is datebooks.

    What the hell do you want from him? A sonnet? A limerick? A haiku?

    He’s a LAWYER for cripessakes. Give him some credit.

    And yeah, you have to do a little work to get to him. He’s left himself vulnerable. He’s just said ‘Call me if you want to–but only if you REALLY want to.’ If he gave you his number, and you didn’t call, he would ‘lose’ the flirting. Now, if you don’t call, it’s because you couldn’t figure out how to get in touch with him. Yeah it’s a lie, but so is flirting, in a way.

    So, do you want to do a little work and get in touch with him, or do you just want to dis him (and men in general)?

    yeharr

    yeharr

    Comment by balloon pirate — January 7, 2007 @ 1:25 am | Reply

  12. Don’t waste another minute thinking about this. You aren’t supposed to work this hard.

    Men go after what they want. Immediately. They are territorial by nature (lawyers, doctors, janitors, doesn’t matter) They don’t want to let some other guy move in if you are the one he wants. So they move fast and make no secret of it. You will not have to guess.

    Now I know this sounds like something from that book “he’s just not into you,” but I hate to admit that I think the guys that wrote that book are (a) right and (b) trying to save women a lot of grief.

    Don’t let Mr. Mysterious get you down. If he he’s the type that expects you do all the work in the beginning of the relationship can you imagine what it would be like three years in?

    Comment by lovemonkey — January 7, 2007 @ 6:23 am | Reply

  13. Man, I LOVE John’s idea about the getting a new datebook thing. There’s sly wit there. BUT, the back of my mind agrees with ‘lovemonkey’, which I hate because…SO not romantic!

    sigh.

    John is right, the worst-case here would be “Hey dude, I got a new datebook,” etc. and HE goes, “WTF, ew!?” and doesn’t respond. Not so bad?

    Hmn.

    Hopefully, he goes, “But of course, I would be happy to be your first ‘entry'” and then exciting lawyer-based excitement would ensue. Court is TOTALLY in session!! Hooray!!

    But yeah don’t worry too much about it, keep going out and having fun and trying cool beers, etc. THAT’s the important thing. Capitalization? NOT important. Getting out into the world? Important.

    Hugs,
    Johnny

    PS: The skunk cabbages are already UP and flowering? Quoi?! Magnolias are breaking bud!! Que? This is a serious odd winter.

    Comment by Johnny_Canuck — January 7, 2007 @ 9:49 am | Reply

  14. i don’t know what a ‘date book’ is. tells you that i’m old as the hills. however, CLEARLY, the dude is NOT interested. move on. (i know this is abrupt but so is life and so are some meetings. no big deal. there are 6.5 billion people on this planet. don’t forget that. get out there and meet them.)

    Comment by gabi — January 7, 2007 @ 5:06 pm | Reply

  15. hey sass….long time no see! but then I been getting VERY busy with a new man…lotsa flirting. I think. I thought I knew what that was, but like you I’m a bit confused about the rules! For me, I’m a straight up girl…”hey I wanna fuck you” or “hey, I DON’T wanna fuck you but can you buy me a drink cos you make me laugh?” Unfortunately this means I tend to miss the subtle flirting that transpires around me..if someone isn’t straight up with me, I totally miss the signs…if theres one thing I have learned lately, it’s that too much thinking hurts. If it feels good, I do it. And it’s been feeling very good lately :)
    So you gonna do anything about this guy? I’m inclined to agree with most people. It shouldn’t be that much work….!
    Have fun
    Kelly

    Comment by debambam — January 7, 2007 @ 7:33 pm | Reply

  16. and this is a great example of why I hate dating

    Comment by Kristen — January 7, 2007 @ 7:33 pm | Reply

  17. These comments are all as interesting as the original post. Men are confusing… no, wait people are confusing. A lot of my male friends are as confounded by women as my female friends and I are by men. So there you go; we’re all flying blind here.

    Anyway, my two cents: I hate to say it, but I think that if this guy were interested, he would have done more than write a note about your datebook. HOWEVER, I also believe that life is short and… nothing ventured, nothing gained. There’s nothing to say that this fellow wouldn’t be tickled if you did contact him, and after that… who knows? Just because he may or may not have been interested or brave enough to make a move on the night he met you, does not mean there’s no potential whatsoever.

    So not that you asked for my advice, but I’d say that if you feel like contacting him, then do so. If not, continue going out with your friends and enjoying the attention of men lucky enough to talk to you.

    Comment by Sassy Hair — January 7, 2007 @ 9:24 pm | Reply

  18. sass, i thought of you and this post today when i was listening to my iPod and came across “dyslexic heart” by the great paul westerberg:

    You shoot me glances and they’re so hard to read
    I misconstrue what you mean
    Slip me a napkin and now that you start
    Is this your name or a doctor’s eye chart?
    I try and comprehend you but I got a dyslexic heart
    I ain’t dying to offend you, I got a dyslexic heart
    Thanks for the book, now my table is ready
    Is this a library or bar?
    Between the covers I thought you were ready
    A half-angel, half-tart
    Do I read you correctly, lead me directly
    Help me with this part
    Do I hate you? Do I date you?
    Do I got a dyslexic Heart?
    You keep swayin’… what are you sayin’?
    Thinking ’bout stayin’?
    Or are you just playing, making passes
    Well, my heart could use some glasses
    Try and comprehend you
    I got a dyslexic heart
    Do I read you correctly,
    I need you directly
    I only went this far
    Do I love you do I hate you
    I got a dyslexic heart

    Comment by terry — January 7, 2007 @ 10:16 pm | Reply

  19. sometimes, i like a near miss, just the idle flirting that doesn’t go anyplace at all, except to my head. ;)

    Comment by trouble — January 8, 2007 @ 1:29 pm | Reply

  20. john: i can see how ot would be considered a cat and mouse game or not… it’s just weird, how do you tell what is and isn’t a brush off? because to me that felt like a brush off.. a weird and friendly and super flirty one but a brush off nonetheless.

    that said, i like your idea, i think i’ll do it :)
    .

    diana: you’re one of the only women that’s saying that, i’m curious why you’re different.

    interestingly i don’t make your association about tracking him down and the tampax at the store (switch to ob, nicer to the environment fyi) and see it. i do think that the patterns that we establish in early dating have long term ramifications, but i also like equality. i don’t want to do all the work but i don’t want the boy to do all the work either you know?

    i do have the upper hand it’s true, guess the question is… am i willing to give it up? *g*
    .

    jmai: love you babe, never one to follow the rules. i hate the idea of being googled before my first date, if you want to know about me? ASK!

    i don’t think it’s by accident either, but that info assumes i remember the name of his firm from his book… which almost implies a brain test too *snicker*

    well i can be wrong about a lot of things jmai, i’ve done it before and i’ll do it again… but she didn’t disagree with my post either.

    ugh boys!

    ;>

    Comment by sassinak — January 8, 2007 @ 2:02 pm | Reply

  21. pirate: i’m a girl, i don’t know these rules you speak of, heck i understand how to say yes and how to say no and how to say no so it sounds like yes (although i’ve retired that one in this new age of litigation and so on) but the actual hitting on i never got trained for. perhaps that’s why i have so many near misses.

    it did seem strange to me that he would leave a message at all though, i mean i’m not sure i would have done that… though i can imagine having slipped my card into his datebook… well i can imagine it but i suck at actually doing that sort of thing.

    flirting is hard, you have to be interested without being interested… i’m amazed anyone manages it… but i hadn’t thought of it as lying… even though it is. i like this blog thing for getting boy perspectives.

    i like to think i don’t diss men… do i diss men?

    oh yeah *g* yeharr!
    .

    lovemonkey: generally once something has made it to the blog it’s over except when i come back later and comment. the act of writing it out is somehow a purge for my brain and often i’ll almost forget something ever happened once it’s written…

    it’s just i don’t like your assertion that all men are like this, even the genesis of my past relationships demonstrates that nothing is ever always true.

    i’ve read that book, and i mostly agree with what it says, but i don’t think it’s a huge deal to send a guy an email. a second email? a follow-up phone call? fuck no. but one little email or voice mail sure.

    i do, incidentally, believe in the three call rule. like, if i called you three times and left at least two messages (but one is enough) then i ain’t calling again. y’all have my number…

    so i don’t entirely let boys off the hook but still, don’t we have to do something at least?

    regardless, mr. mysterious has not gotten me down, well down enough to write a post when i got home but not down enough to remember to tell the friend i was visiting the story. :)
    .

    johnny: i do too and mine does too.

    so i’ve sent an email (which i think i already knew i was going to do) and that’s it, case closed unless he chooses to reopen the file.

    “exciting lawyer based excitement” rofl.

    … and no worries johnny, the more i go out the more i want to go out, so it’s not going to be a problem to get myself out there.

    re your ps? dude there’s ROBINS.

    Comment by sassinak — January 8, 2007 @ 2:26 pm | Reply

  22. gabi: datebook – paper book with days on the pages in which i input my life. thing without which i have no earthly idea what i’m doing… pretty much ever. thing without which i am pretty much lost.

    as for out there? i’m getting more out there all the time… in every sense of the word *g*
    .

    deb: well having a new man to play with is an excellent reason to neglect your blog world… i’ve been neglectful cause i’ve been away and stuff.

    i’ve been told many times in my life about people who were into me where i never noticed. and i asked a man years ago if he had realised that i had a crush on him all last year and he said ‘no, really no’ and i believed him. so… people are clueless.

    i sent him a two line email, if he hits the ball back okay, if he doesn’t? then we know who’s right.
    .

    kj: word sister.
    .

    sassy hair: you know that’s just how i feel. usually i learn more from my commenters than anything else. i love the smart people that choose to hang out here.

    and that’s the thing i’ve noticed, all the men i know find women baffling as hell. that said, i don’t know many single men in this town… well i do, but they’re all gay.

    i like your perspective milady “do what thou wilt” which i quite like. i’ve been working lately on not letting fear make my decisions for me, and sometimes i’ll do things just because i’m afraid of them… like emailing boys.
    .

    terry: i love the version of ‘let’s do it’ that joan jett did with paul westerberg for tank girl, i’ve had a soft spot for him ever since.

    and yes, i like the words.
    .

    trouble: me too you know, it’s just *always* idle flirting with me… so the head starts to wonder why.

    Comment by sassinak — January 8, 2007 @ 2:39 pm | Reply

  23. “i sent him a two line email, if he hits the ball back okay, if he doesn’t? then we know who’s right.”

    OK

    you already did what i would have done and was about to suggest

    maybe he’s kind of shy – or a little socially awkward – a little nerdy – and he wasn’t completely sure if you were just playing around in the bar, or were really interested in him. if it was a brush-off he wouldn’t have given you his last name. he would have just written his first name that you already had.

    as far as making you work too hard… and that being a reason not to contact him…

    is he making you work very hard? – not to my estimation. if he keeps this srt of thing up, then you know he’s playing a game – but as an initial barrier or hurdle – maybe he’s just fed up with being too available. maybe in past relationships he did all the work and he’s just trying out being a little less forward.

    is he testing to see if you are quick witted enough and tech-savvy enough to find him? – probably. is that bad? – probably not.

    Comment by Cadbury — January 8, 2007 @ 3:23 pm | Reply

  24. haven’t you ever flirted a bit with someone who was physically not unattractive but with whom you just know there’s zero to pursue? and you just do it for the sport of it, killing time, whatever?

    besides, isn’t looking through someone else’s datebook a boundary violation? i wouldn’t want to date someone and possibly bring them home with me and fine that they go through my private stuff while i took a pee. i think that’s awful. and he’s a lawyer to boot! uh uh. you are well and truly shot of this boy.

    Comment by gabi — January 8, 2007 @ 8:07 pm | Reply

  25. cadbury: and yet still i feel like a stalker just a little.

    i suppose he could be either shy or socially awkward but i didn’t get that impression at all. he seemed like a guy who knew his way around a chance encounter with a woman he found attractive.

    i still, truly, think it was a brush-off and that i’ll never hear from him. that said, i find him attractive enough that he seems like a worthy candidate for an experiment like this. i’m curious who will turn out to be right.

    ‘work too hard’ maybe or maybe not. making a girl wonder is good, making her gnash her teeth is bad. like this isn’t a situation where he has a lot of time ya know what i mean?

    yeah, if that’s the testing that’s happening it’s not so bad, but i really don’t think that’s it. i expect he got my email, raised an eyebrow and tossed it in the trash.

    either way i’ll write a follow-up of some kind.
    .

    gabi: yes. absolutely i have… but i’ve never taken it a step past that kind of casualness… not even one.

    as for the datebook, i looked through his, he wrote a note on the last day of the year in mine. so i’m actually the rude boundary violator here.

    regardless, i’m shot of all boys so what’s one more lol

    Comment by sassinak — January 8, 2007 @ 10:13 pm | Reply

  26. A lawyer? Run. Lawyers are not for you.

    A lawyer would rather pass up getting to know with a girl he’s into than admit he has a shittier datebook. But because he’s all conflicted and emotionally stunted, he leaves just enough information so that you can stalk him out really fast. Ego much? Either that or he’s so insecure he needs you to prove how badly you want to get to know him before he’d put himself out there– and if you did ‘find’ him, he’d disrespect you for it once the narcissist-buzz wore off. It’s a lose-lose, man.

    Or he could just be terribly misguided in what he thinks is appropriate flirting. Though it could have been endearing, say, 15 years ago, I think you’re beyond that now.

    Comment by Princess Valium — January 9, 2007 @ 1:38 am | Reply

  27. pv: ha, i called it, i knew you would say that.

    actually his datebook was pretty nice, it just wasn’t as well suited to my life as the one i already have. besides, the book was just the excuse for the verbal sparring.

    yeah, that’s my sense of it too… no matter what i do i lose. that said, i thought it would be interesting to see what happened if i did email him so i did it. against my better judgement but whatev.

    and of course, no reply.

    it’s interesting though that the men who commented all thought emailing him was the right thing and the women almost all didn’t… you’d think the men would have got it right wouldn’t you?

    Comment by sassinak — January 9, 2007 @ 12:42 pm | Reply

  28. Hey Sass!

    (I can post here without creating an account!)

    (I created a blogspot account to post on your old “blog” and you moved.)

    (Maybe I should take a hint.)

    Enjoyed your last entry.

    To everyone else, if Sass counts you among her friends, then you are truly blessed. She’s the coolest. I’ve counted her among my friends for. . . a lot more years than I’d care to count-up right now.

    Cheers,
    -CR

    Comment by Cortex Reaver — January 9, 2007 @ 2:37 pm | Reply

  29. princess valium was there at the bar when you met this dude. so her view is valuable, i think.

    also, who the hell meets anyone that can become a serious relationship in a bar? bars are where a person picks up or gets picked up. picks up diseases…. or worse. it’s all artifice.

    bars are for entertainment if you are wanting some.

    i think you are a well enough educated and knowledgable and experienced professional person that you can impress someone through just being your intense professional self. smart doesn’t mean intimidating. i think if you can be ‘into’ what you are doing without self consciousness, then that is what you should be doing and where you should be at. what’s wrong with putting forward the you you love to be? why compromise and play stupid mind games and stupid flirty bullshit? be real. be you. anyone else and it’s all fake nonesense. if you are who you are and someone accepts you, then wonderful. if you are not accepted, then it tells you more about them than it does you. being genuine isn’t such a bad thing, you know.

    Comment by gabi — January 9, 2007 @ 8:05 pm | Reply

  30. i keep saying it, and no one believes me: lawyers are pure evil…especially in male form when flirtation is involved. we take competition and conquest to a whole new level.

    trust me! i know!

    Comment by da buttah — January 9, 2007 @ 10:14 pm | Reply

  31. crtx: (excellent)

    (anonymous commenting should have been on…)

    (please don’t)

    thanks!

    dude we can’t count how many years we’ve been friends cause then we have to admit we’re getting old! and why haven’t we gotten virtually drunk together in years?

    cheers! and thanks for the kind words!
    .

    gabi: no she wasn’t, flower was at the bar with me. her view is valuable cause she’s cynical and a lawyer *g*

    i’ve met men that i got serious about in some very weird places, the internet several times, work several others, school a few times, air cadets… as for bars… hmm… you know i don’t think so now that you mention it.

    but who said anything about serious? i met a man who made me laugh and i wanted more of that, serious comes much much much later. bars are for dancing, pubs are for drinking with friends and boys are not something i should pay attention to anymore.

    but gabi don’t for a second think that i’m anything but myself with an attractive man around. sure the flirt gets turned on but that’s a natural hard-wired response and should only be turned off when you’re working or done with dating.

    but flirting is fun gabi, it’s how people get to know each other… whether in a bar or at work or online… we ‘turn on’ around people we like be it sexual or otherwise.

    that said this: if you are who you are and someone accepts you, then wonderful. if you are not accepted, then it tells you more about them than it does you. being genuine isn’t such a bad thing, you know. is the truest thing i know. there just isn’t any point doing it any other way.
    .

    elle: pure evil huh? even you?

    well i guess i gave the witty lawyer man a point for his ‘score one for me card’ but i don’t see how that helps if he’s alone at home… but sometimes some people would rather win than get ahead i guess.

    i still don’t think you’re evil elle.

    Comment by sassinak — January 9, 2007 @ 10:24 pm | Reply

  32. i’m so glad you emailed him, for OUR sake, if not your own…!

    wait, that sounded wrong. i think it’s interesting to see how the story ends. that’s all i mean.

    i don’t mean to sound like i want to see you stuck in what seem like pointless flirtations.

    Comment by terry — January 10, 2007 @ 12:37 am | Reply

  33. Oh well, nothing ventured, etc.

    I GUESS the men were wrong in this case, but were we (like) TOTALLY wrong here?
    Seems as if the men were promoting the active rather than passive, regardless of the actual odds/situation. Interesting? Hopeful? Stupid?

    Hmmn.

    Comment by Johnny_Canuck — January 10, 2007 @ 11:43 am | Reply

  34. terry: i’m glad too, if nothing else as a social experiment right?

    dude, all my flirtations are pointless, but at least with some i get to write a good post and get dozens of intersting comments…

    :)
    .

    johnny: yup

    no, i don’t think you were… i think that taking an active role in your own destiny is a lot more important than we think it is. and this was a harmless way to build up some courage.

    and really, it’s his loss right?

    i find it interesting that all the men that commented promoted active rather than passive actions, something to learn from if nothing else.

    Comment by sassinak — January 10, 2007 @ 12:33 pm | Reply

  35. I have no advice for you since I would have considered what he did as flirting.

    Comment by signgurl — January 11, 2007 @ 7:36 pm | Reply


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