snapshots of an idle mind

January 17, 2007


Filed under: anxiety,dating,life — sassinak @ 10:44 am


oh my god i’m dying.

it’s MOSTLY my apartment see but it’s not SURELY my apartment and i’m dying. i know that if i don’t get it i’ll find something even better (hah!) but i really want it.

so i called the super and i left a message and said that i knew she wouldn’t hear until today but that it was her day off and could she get someone (the other super) to call me and let me know anyway.

she calls me at three am (thank god i leave my ringer off!) and tells me that she put the application on their desk on tuesday and that they’ve never turned down an application she’s put on their desk and that it all looks great so she’s sure it’s fine.

so it’s mine right?


i can take a deep breath?

hah. there’s still the management company who could say no if they want to.


i talked to my property manager and told her that i thought i had found a place for march first but that i wouldn’t hear back until sometime this week and i’m sorry it’s not quite enough notice but i might not leave until april first either and incidentally i used january’s rent to pay last month’s rent and i promise to pay you in the next week regardless.

and she was so awesome. she told me i could go when i wanted and earlier if i needed to. she said that it’s no problem and that she wishes me luck and i could pay whenever.

she knows me, she knows i would never leave that rent unpaid longer than i said i would. and i have the cash now i just have to get it to the bank.

so that’s a load off the old mind anyway.


a few of my clients are away until march (well two and i lost one until she finds some money) which is financially awkward but really convenient for arranging a move.


please call me already and tell me my beautiful space in a ravine is mine.



othercat is getting better, his eyes are quite good and he’s in excellent spirits.

doctors are predicting a full recover.

weirder? gabi knows someone the exact same thing happened to!

he and i are going for lunch and then i’m taking him on errands.


i thought a boy was into me and he isn’t.

it’s okay but i dug him.

for a change i watched the situation rationally and used logical clues instead of caring emotionally. although i enjoyed the email experiment [comments section but read the post first] last week i am gratified to know that my gut instinct that it was a brush-off was correct.

i mean it’s nice to know at least that i can listen to my gut


call me already dammit!


now all i have to do is find some machines (ideally a balanced body reformer – extra long and a cadillac wall unit) and someone to pay for them or lease them to me. god leasing, that at least is a full write-off and my newfound business manager found me a tax guy so maybe i have some money coming.

hope hope.


elle i’ll get pics as soon as i move in okay? they’re doing a full reno and you don’t want to see the ugly green carpet


gotta go, brunch with the oc!

take care of each other…



  1. Can I offer a glass of milk? Perhaps some chamomile tea? Maybe a Valium?

    I hope some of this stuff starts settling down soon for you! And definitely hope you get the space you want.

    Comment by collun — January 17, 2007 @ 2:49 pm | Reply

  2. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you get the new apartment.

    I’ve never been wrong when I listened to my gut

    Comment by Kristen — January 17, 2007 @ 7:10 pm | Reply

  3. hang in there… you’re soooo close….!

    i’m glad to hear othercat’s getting better. how scary.

    and isn’t it nice to learn that your gut knows what it’s doing? even when you don’t really like what it’s telling you?

    Comment by terry — January 18, 2007 @ 12:43 am | Reply

  4. Ok, so I was wrong on the whole email experiment. But I still don’t think you took the wrong action. He did by not replying back ;-)

    Plus, I would rather err on the side of trying and knowing versus the timid approach of questioning “what-if” scenarios and cursing a lack of courage to find out.

    Good luck with the apartment. I would tell you what my instincts on it are, but based on my last prediction, I better just be quiet on the subject…

    Comment by John — January 18, 2007 @ 10:40 am | Reply

  5. awww, no before and after? my parents old house, which they basically gutted and redid entirely, had this heinous carpet that involved various circles of horrendous pastel colors…my god…disgusting

    deal! you do a photo spread and i’ll do one of my new place as well.

    Comment by da buttah — January 18, 2007 @ 12:10 pm | Reply

  6. i think the security guy likes you. today when i went to the building he opened the door and told me that it’s unusual for me to be showing up so late in the day…, yeah, because he knows i always tease you when you are chatting with him…so i guess he’s on his best behaviour in case i have any influence over the outcome of his romantic quest….. either that or, hey, he’s security. he’s supposed to know when something is different…..but he’s not supposed to say anything though…. so yeah, he likes you.

    Comment by gabi — January 18, 2007 @ 4:14 pm | Reply

  7. collun: lately i’ve been really into the herbal teas… how bout mint?

    oh man me on valium, i have such funny responses to drugs that valium is likely an upper for me… (uppers put me to sleep)

    thank thee sir!

    kj: thanks lady, me too!

    you know neither have i, would that i did it more often…

    terry: the last mile of any race is the hardest and i am SOOO feeling it right now!

    yeah, it’s probably one of the scariest things i can imagine being blind…

    and yeah, i’m glad to know i need to listen to my gut more… even though i WANT to disagree with it!

    Comment by sassinak — January 18, 2007 @ 8:54 pm | Reply

  8. john: i think it was worth doing regardless, i’m certainly not embarassed and now i know not to even bother if i see him again…

    i’m tired of lack of courage and i’m over it. though i’m still willing to do the delicate slow dance of early flirtation, but that’s different :)

    well my gut and yours appear to be agreeing, this could be a problem!

    elle: i didn’t think of taking before pics and my camera was in my bag. they may not have let me anyway since it had someone else’s stuff in it still…oh man. that’s worse than our old foil wallpaper with velvet patterns (in ugly green natch)


    gabi: oh please, he does that with everyone…

    Comment by sassinak — January 18, 2007 @ 8:57 pm | Reply

  9. you mean he’s just bored? friendly?

    and also, what’s with Sassinak? Sassenach means English person (Saxon) when spoken by a Scot. since thou art a Wop, what’s the deal here? hm, my paternal grandmother was a Saxon… not Anglo-Saxon. Saxonsaxon. i thought originally that Sassinak was something from a fantasy fiction or science fiction. but it’s not.

    Comment by gabi — January 18, 2007 @ 9:27 pm | Reply

  10. gabi: yes, that’s exactly what i mean.

    it is from a fantasy novel of the same name by anne mccaffrey. the character had spunk and i had just finished it the day i picked my nickname… being called sass tickled me immensely and i’ve been called that for 13 or 14 years now

    Comment by sassinak — January 18, 2007 @ 9:29 pm | Reply

  11. I’m excited for your new place, how cool is that? I’m gonna have to read and see what I’ve missed, cause I didn’t know there was anything wrong with othercat, but healing prayers being said for him now.

    I’m soooo not looking forward to dating again…yuk.

    Comment by kathi — January 18, 2007 @ 10:51 pm | Reply

  12. Eww green carpet. I’m iffy with carpeting and prefer tile or hardwood. But coloured carpets (I mean one continuous colour in wall-to-wall) are difficult to work around. I can’t remember the last time my carpet was anything but cream-coloured (pretty to look at but monstrous to clean).

    Glad othercat is feeling better!

    Got my fingers crossed for you in the new pretty space. Then I can move to Toronto and have you be my Pilates teacher. Wishful thinking!

    Comment by Jmai — January 20, 2007 @ 9:21 am | Reply

  13. kathi: it’s super cool, and i really can’t wait to see it after it’s reno’d.

    dude dating sucks, you’re right not to look forward to it!

    jmai: yeah i hate carpets, i wouldn’t take the place if they weren’t restoring the original parquet floors (the big squares from when they made it well rather than the tiny squares from the cheap version they make now) and fixing the tile in the entrance/bath. and new counters and cupboards!

    i really really hate carpet so i’m so with you on this one.

    he is feeling better but he’s not out of the woods yet!

    dude if you move here i’ll teach you for sure!

    Comment by sassinak — January 21, 2007 @ 5:08 pm | Reply

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