snapshots of an idle mind

May 11, 2007

grand gesture

Filed under: blogging,internet,life,socioanthropology — sassinak @ 1:44 pm


so i just got another one of those emails. you know the ones… they talk about the blogverse and how it’s not healthy and how they were looking for something that they realise is there in their lives already and how they’re ‘checking out for good’ and we should too.

and i get it, i really do.

there’s this need to make some grand parting gesture before you exit stage left and never come back. i’m not sure anyone can top bubblegum meltdown’s RIP where everyone was wondering if emma was dead but nevertheless.

there is one thing that i don’t get.

why does the grand gesture always have to be an email telling us that the escape is no longer necessary and why does it always feel like they’re judging my choices with every word?

i don’t have a wife or a husband or a kid at home to fill my life with, trust that if i did this blog would not exist. in fact this blog for me is the thing i use as a man substitute in a lot of ways.

i come home from a long day and i’m tired and frustrated and bad things have happened or i’m elated and giddy and great things have happened or something is going on that gets me thinking and i’ll look around my house and realise that i have three choices.

i can tell the tale to my cats

i can tell the tale to a random friend on the phone

i can tell my blog.

don’t misunderstand, i know that i could eat it as well, distract myself with drinks or dancing or going out but you see i’m poverty struck and look to be staying that way and every social event that happens with my friends somehow ends up costing money that i don’t have.

yes, even the free ones.

i often take my woes climbing and throw them at a wall and trust me, that’s going to be happening a lot in the next while which is kind of nice since i got a little porky over the winter but it’s not a substitute for working out your thoughts with another human being who loves you.

and the thing that all these check out for good people have in common?

almost invariably they’re coupled and their blog is a secret from their partner. often their coupled status is a secret from their blog. and maybe they need that, that feeling of belonging to a group other than their family for a while but inevitably they return to their little niche.

[or the marriage splits up and either way they usually stop blogging]

but why do they have to finish with some grand finale gesture that’s designed to make the rest of us feel bad for needing this community?

and why do they always have to add in ‘don’t bother replying as this email address will no longer exist’?

I find that a little mean actually.

hey all you people that have been my friends for a long time. people who have supported me and asked about my traumas and otherwise just generally been there for me at all times?

yeah you guys… youse guys that were here before me and will be here after i leave… you welcomed me with open arms and i leave you with a grand ‘see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!’ and then delete my email address so you can’t even wish me good luck or fuck you or goodbye or something.

and people say they don’t like drama.

*laughs ruefully*

[edited to add: sterling examples of how to leave the blogverse nicely or at least without insulting the rest of us: elle or dodger]



  1. I’m with you — I hate that shit!!!

    Comment by Jim McKee — May 11, 2007 @ 2:57 pm | Reply

  2. Yeah, fuck that!

    Ya know what’s even worse, though? Those people who disappear for, like, [i]a year[/i] and then just reappear with some poorly thought-out pearl of wisdom.


    Comment by Will — May 11, 2007 @ 8:38 pm | Reply

  3. i’d like to think that i’d continue blogging even if i ever end up coupled. i’ve gotten so much more out of this than i ever expected that i can’t imagine just deleting and disappearing.

    what a weird move, to pull the plug and be mean about it.

    Comment by terry — May 12, 2007 @ 2:32 am | Reply

  4. Blogging is kind of like getting pierced for me. I’m intrigued by it. I read blogs. I admire piercings. But its not something I do myself nor something I fully understand. I guess I just live vicariously through the blogs / piercings of others.

    I guess some people are just dramatic and maybe its easier to be dramatic in an email?
    I dunno. I really don’t get the whole blogverse or blogoverse. See? I don’t even know the correct term for it.

    Comment by Clarity — May 13, 2007 @ 3:55 am | Reply

  5. I didn’t stop blogging when I got coupled. Nor did I stop blogging when I got uncoupled. I love blogging. And the reason I would stop is if I stopped loving it. I have seen a lot of people give it up over the last few months. I certainly notice a decrease in the amount of comments and visits. But as many as drop out…just as many start. And then there’s the ones who remain.

    I hope you are one.


    Comment by Natalia — May 14, 2007 @ 10:34 am | Reply

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