if there’s one thing i hate it’s people who won’t tell the truth.
that’s not quite what i mean. i mean that thing where people don’t tell you the truth because they think it will hurt you. that thing where they never think about the fact that in the long run you’ll get hurt so much more when you find out what’s really going on.
we’ve all done it.
we’ve said that some piece of clothing or haircut was nice because someone desperately wanted us to like it even though we didn’t. we’ve been noncommittal when it was easier than being clear and we’ve hedged and hemmed rather than say what we were thinking.
and most of the time it’s okay.
but sometimes it’s really not.
sometimes, no matter how hurtful you think it will be, you need to just tell the truth. especially when it’s the hardest.
exactly when you think it’s going to hurt the most.
that’s nearly always when the actual truth is the most important.
there was a man once who didn’t tell me the truth when i told him that i liked him. he obfuscated and teased me and i hadn’t read ‘he’s just not that into you’ yet. so i fell down the rabbit hole.
if he had told me the truth i would never have had such trouble. i would have just known not to get my hopes up and been able to move on.
that’s the easiest example because it’s the one that happens the most often. it’s the one place that it’s hard to be honest because we know that someone’s emotions are involved. it’s so hard to tell someone a hard truth when you care about them.
i’ve done this to my friends before in certain ways. gotten so fed up with them and their crap that it’s finally been worth just telling them what i thought and you know what?
it’s universally gone well.
every single time. for some reason people are always really grateful when i tell them the hardest things. they’ve thanked me and appreciated it every single time.
but why is it that it doesn’t get any easier?
it’s always so damm hard to just open your mouth and say the things that are true. it’s easy to just say things that are non-committal and hem and haw and hope that it goes away.
but i’m really learning that it’s when it’s the hardest that it’s the most important. that it’s those times that make you want to ache with despair that are the ones when you need to get your truth telling on.
what’s amazing is how few people do it.
i know a lot of people who pride themselves on their truth telling and yet those same people seem just as likely to disseminate when the truth telling time comes and it’s weird.
i get it, don’t get me wrong.
i get it because i too have done it and tried not to do it and still do it on occasion. i just wish more people would try to be truthful more often.
it’s so hard not to just say the nice thing. not to just go along with the status quo. not to let it slide one more day.
but i almost always regret not telling the truth.
don’t be nice to me, please, i beg you, don’t be nice to me. you can sugarcoat a little or maybe be a little less harsh but nonetheless, don’t pull your punches. wear a boxing glove sure but if you care for me at all?
just tell me the truth.