snapshots of an idle mind

September 7, 2007

oh shit, now i have to become independently wealthy…

Filed under: bliss,cars,driving,engines,ferrari,life,surreality — sassinak @ 11:41 am


or cylinder envy part deux.


or oh my, be careful what you wish for even inadvertently.


yesterday i had the singular privilege of riding in a ferrari.

oh my god you guys you have no idea how hot these cars actually are until you’re in one. i mean sure they’re pretty and they certainly look and sound hot flying by you on the street but somehow, somehow you just don’t get it until you’re sitting in one.

when you’re IN the damm thing you can feel all that power and somehow the happy throaty growl of a well tuned engine on the prowl cannot be replicated no matter how you drive beside it. you have to be in it to get it, you just do.

not to mention the incredible urge to stroke the freaking thing. it’s just so pretty you want to pet it like a really expensive slate-grey cat.

funny things happen when you’re in one of these cars, some guy was so busy ogling the car that he forgot to watch the road and tried very hard to take out our front end while he was drooling over it. literally had his head hanging out the window looking back at us instead of watching where he was driving.

he then informed us that this car must be better than sex whereupon i came up with one of my better lines and replied “clearly you haven’t had sex with me” and he just shook his head and drooled and then the light turned green and he took off as fast as his little accord (one of the ugly ones…. the whole 1994-2006 line of accords is ugly) would take him in some strange attempt to show off.

unfortunately he did it while looking back at us and nearly took out a parked car!

anyway people point and stare and chase your car and take pictures and parking enforcement officers half the time don’t even ticket it…

but then.

oh my god

but then.

clearly my evident appreciation for this gorgeous beast and my questions about transmissions and my total car nutsness had their way with the driver and he whips into mount pleasant cemetery and stops the car and says ‘get out’ and i do.

i think we’re going for a walk in the cemetery. oh no.

not so much.

“come here” says he and i do. “get in and drive” he says and i gulp and sort of look like a panicked deer in the headlights and stare at him.

“but i might break it!”

i mean literally i was so excited and really rather terrified at the same time. i think it was worse than a virgin on her wedding night!

okay maybe not that bad.

anyway so in i get with great trepidation and very gingerly place my hands on the wheel and he adjusts all the seats and mirrors and sticks it in automatic mode (rather than manual) and sort of looks expectant.


(yes that’s the actual ferrari i drove sitting at mosport…)

like i’m stepping on an egg i touch the accelerator and start to drive. drive like i’m just learning how and i’m afraid of all the buttons… and oh my you guys. you can’t possibly get how awesome driving a ferrari is until you do it.

mount pleasant cemetery is an old old institution in toronto that happens to have great little windy roads everywhere… View Map

so i drive around and play with the corners and then change to manual mode to try the paddle shifting and generally just giggle like a twelve year old while driving around on what is effectively a little baby private track. except then i run into another city street and he says “okay take it out”

and i’m like “you’re nuts mister… but okay”

and off we fly down this road and that with him all the time chuckling over the responses people give to a woman driving a ferrari and me totally laughing at how much fun this car is from a dead stop. cause yeah, my honda is fun out of lights but this? wow.

eventually we’re on a lovely road through the don valley and “floor it” he says and i do and it throws me back into my seat and “try the brakes” which i slam on and holy shit. SO GOOD.

anyway i take it to a dead stop in the middle of the road and then just punch it (shut up i looked if there were cars behind me first!) and wow. wow.

you guys i do.NOT.HAVE.WORDS!

about the best way i can describe how awesome driving a ferrari is is to say that for the first time EVER in my life i suddenly feel a little bit of this quest for wealth. i mean hey, if i can make a million bucks i can buy a ferrari… or maybe i’ll make a half a million and buy a twenty year old ferrari… or or or…

dudes it’s SO MUCH FUN!

so yeah, you thought i had cylinder envy on wednesday?

*laughs fool head off*

i had no earthly idea. none.

i heard little growly purrings in my ears all night long… (well okay i heard some other stuff too… lol)



  1. Listen you twit: first of all it’s ‘cemetery’ not cemetary.

    Now that we got that off my chest, wtf? You fooling around with some rich dude?

    Don’t make it too easy for him. (Or did you already……… groan.) Guys who drive those sorts of cars expect women to get wet.


    I didn’t make it to class this morning thanks to a.) not sleeping half the night and then b.) sleeing in.
    c.) having a cat in a cat carrier and then said cat meowing all over the office in the a.m. until
    d.) said cat had appointment with vet.

    (not good, any of it. any of it. shit.)

    Anyway, cat will live.

    But YOU! What’s wrong with a bit of sange froid even if you don’t actually have sange froid?

    I’m gonna slap you upside the head next time……

    Comment by gabi — September 7, 2007 @ 1:18 pm | Reply

  2. Woa. This is weird.

    I wrote a response to your blog and it disappeared.

    Did you somehow make it disappear?

    My answer to your daily thingie was

    First off: It is ‘cemetery’ not cemetary.

    Second: Rich guys expect girls to get wet. Don’t give it to them.

    Third: You did, didn’t you!?!

    She rolls her eyes and slowly shakes her head from side to side.

    Comment by gabi — September 7, 2007 @ 4:40 pm | Reply

  3. gabi: yeah i caught that cemetery thing but i was late for a client so i didn’t have a chance to fix it.

    one thing that i’ve learned in my life is that it’s dangerous to paint any group of people with a single brush. personally i hate hearing about how all women can’t drive, or how all pilates instructors are twits or how all corporate lawyers are evil, and i would hate to think that money or lack thereof would be the sole reason why i might ‘give it up’ especially considering the clear and unwavering respect with which this particular person treats me and my historical lack of such shallowness.

    i’m glad to hear that your cat is going to be okay… my cat has been feeling poorly of late and you’ll be happy to know that she is also on the mend.

    as far as sang froid goes i really thought you knew me better.

    as for the first comment, it seems that wordpress’ automatic spam filter found it offensive.

    Comment by sassinak — September 7, 2007 @ 7:30 pm | Reply

  4. in response to the first/second comment here –

    i personally think it’s quite offensive that you’ve (though perhaps unintentionally) slandered the characters of both sass and the owner of said ferrari.

    though i don’t know him, i do know her, and your response was indicative that you don’t.

    sass is nowhere near that shallow, and to imply that she is (even if you were speaking in jest) is quite hurtful, the way i see it.

    Comment by smileycherub — September 7, 2007 @ 10:14 pm | Reply

  5. Gabi, I teased Sassinak amongst friends over her Ferrari story. . . *TEASED*. You attacked with venom in a very public forum and to be blunt, you’re way out of line. Sass is quite simply, the most non-shallow person there is. If first impressions are any indication of who you are, then I despise you.

    Comment by Cortex Reaver — September 8, 2007 @ 12:15 am | Reply

  6. I didn’t attack Sass. It would seem that she has been swept off her feet through Ferrari Flirting. She is a deeply flirtatious person who is seeking a deep relationship based on flirtatiousness. That is deep. She heard more than just growling. That is really important. It is significant.

    Comment by gabi — September 8, 2007 @ 7:27 am | Reply

  7. Gabi, Sass has met someone whose company she’s been enjoying. It seems he also has a nice car and let her drive it.

    The subject matter of that second sentence is a bonus, nothing more. To deny that here on this blog for God and everyone to see is a misinformed attack on Sass’s character.

    “Denial” is not a river in Africa.

    This is the part where you should set aside your arrogance, and perhaps your pride and apologize.

    Comment by Cortex Reaver — September 8, 2007 @ 8:10 am | Reply

  8. It was not a misinformed attack on her character. Where did anything about character come into it? It was a comment on behaviour. If you want to attribute Sass’s self exposure to her character, then you do that.

    Basically, I made a comment on her lack of exercising a self edit function. Thus I did not use my own self edit function for a change. But I know that. It was a choice I made. Her lack of self editing seems to be something that has atrophied due to lack of use. Like the strengthening of core muscles, the strengthening of core values requires practice.

    For Sass, anything goes. It doesn’t matter what. If the thought pops in her head, the words pop out of her mouth. She thinks this is uproariously hilarious. There are times when the information that pops out isn’t just risque, it’s embarassing. A little subtlety would go a long way.

    Does any of this need to be said? Hell no. When we feel contempt for people who behave in self insulting ways, we never ever let them know what we think. Where would their entertainment value lie if we ever said anything to them about how they cheapen themselves or make fools of themselves? The best way to encourage someone for whom we actually feel contempt is to continue to encourage them to behave in ways that would make their parents cringe with shame. That way there is a superiority factor left intact. The village idiot played an important role in the lives of the other villagers. Playing the fool is fine if the fool doesn’t want to be respected.

    Some people behave in ways that recognizes that they are not totally alone in this world. That they have family, for example who may like to enjoy feeling pride (that sort of pride for your information) in their adult offspring. I don’t know of too many parents who would beam with pride to discover that their daughter considers her ‘private’ activities to be subjects for public consumption. Having sex with the man who owns a Ferrari is stereotypical. It’s one of the reasons for which cars like Ferrari’s are made. Check the commercials for sports cars: there are women draped on them for a reason.

    Sass is not in the same situation as Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. They have lots of money and publicists and for some reason the awfulness of the things they do is promoted by the media. Why behave like a down market version of Paris Hilton? What does anyone expect of Paris Hilton? Should we expect nothing more or less from Sass? Does she expect nothing more or less from herself?

    Comment by gabi — September 8, 2007 @ 1:56 pm | Reply

  9. Holy shit, I must be a slut.

    Though this peculiar label has never been applied to me, I realize now that it could be true.

    Because I would totally sleep with a rich guy who drives a nice car. If he was cute and treated me nicely, I might just do it on a regular basis. Either way, I sure would enjoy it, because sex is fun and so are Ferraris.

    I never knew that enjoying sex made me a slut. Or the village idiot. Imagine. Having fun just seems normal to me.

    But if that’s the case, then I proudly declare myself BOTH a slut and a village idiot. Who knew?

    Comment by princessvalium — September 8, 2007 @ 10:14 pm | Reply

  10. Instead of accusing Sass of loose behaviour, I’d say her date must be a real gentleman to let her drive his upscale car. It’s good of him to share the fun.

    It’s also easier to say things that are nice instead of jumping to conclusions.

    Comment by othercat — September 8, 2007 @ 11:38 pm | Reply

  11. othercat, perhaps you could speak to your true friend Sass about how she is deliberately working towards undermining her success in life. About how it’s not in her best interests to show up to teach a pilates class stoned out of her mind, falling about laughing at thoughts she has going on in her head, being so involved in her own personal drama that she is not actually teaching anything much anymore. Ask her to maybe wash her feet sometimes as well. On some level she actually seems to realize that showing the dirty soles of her feet to a class of paying customers is somehow not an ideal. But she’s not motivated enough to do something about it.

    I wonder though if given your own penchant for consuming THC, you may think it is perfectly hilarious and witty and appropriate that your friend informed a class of women whose average age is about 60 years that she has now developed such total control over her pelvic floor muscles that she can fake orgasm. It would be more admirable if she cultivated such total control over the things she tells others about herself in a semi-public setting. Self revelatory behaviour such as this is totally inappropriate. This is partly what I refer to as behaving like the village idiot.

    Quite frankly, people who attend a group exercise class are interested in getting fit. They are not interested in the personal trials and tribulations of the ‘instructor’ who is clearly having issues not only in her personal life but also in her ability to stay on focus for the duration of a class.

    When Sass doesn’t get whatever she thinks she should be getting in her life, she indulges in a wallowing of self pity. Showing up stoned to teach classes means a lack of self respect and a lack of seriousness about her career. Anyone who is serious about their job doesn’t come to work impaired.

    Her emotional ups and the downs are made more extreme through the use of various pharmacologically active substances and lack of sleep. She has nothing to complain about because she makes the choices and she has to deal with the consequences. A person shouldn’t be surprised or disappointed that they can abuse themselves and then not feel well.

    If Sass wants to sit down and have it out with me, then she is more than welcome to do so. I have not written anything at any time in response to her blog entries that I am afraid to talk to her about to her face.

    There’s a big difference between you, othercat, and me: I don’t aid and abet self destructive behaviour in others if I see what they are doing. I’m probably not anyone’s favourite around here because I’m probably the only person who doesn’t spend a signficant part of their week being stoned out of my mind.

    People alter their consciousness because they are afraid of what happens if they don’t.

    Comment by gabi — September 9, 2007 @ 7:59 am | Reply

  12. PrincessValium, I have never written that enjoying sex makes anyone a slut. Enjoying sex is a good thing.

    What makes a woman a slut is exchanging a ride in an expensive car for sex. That makes her cheaper than a hooker who at least charges money. A sports car though is a dual investment: it makes other men jealous and it makes enough women of a certain type wet between the legs.

    It is quite a sobering observation to watch how much inanity men are willing to tolerate and listen to in exchange for the chance of copulating with the ‘girl’ who chatters away for hours on end about little or nothing of interest to the guy. Of course because the females are so busy with their own drama they are unaware of the fact that the guy is just waiting and waiting until he can finally get what he wants.

    If you shut up sometime and just listen and watch what’s going on in this world, you may learn a few things about how life really is and not how you like to imagine that it is.

    Comment by gabi — September 9, 2007 @ 8:07 am | Reply

  13. gabi, sass doesn’t teach stoned. ever. if you knew anything about her you’d know that. she might have been happy and excited while teaching a class… which is, i’m sure, a crime against humanity and especially her students. who wants to be taught by someone who’s enjoying what they’re doing and happy to be there?

    and you may not be anyone’s favorite around here because of your perspective on thc, or what you refer to as being the only one here who doesn’t spend a significant part of their week stoned out of their mind, but hey, you’re not my favorite for a completely different reason. i don’t give a shit about people’s thc use or lack thereof.

    you’re not my favorite because from what i can see, you continually make assumptions which have no basis in fact whatsoever, and then have the arrogance to not only continue to state them, but to make more. in my mind, that just makes you a bitch. simple as that.

    Comment by smileycherub — September 9, 2007 @ 10:51 am | Reply

  14. Gabi: If I were you, I’d put the shovel down, and stop digging.

    Sassinak is a grown woman who can make her own choices. In all the years I’ve known Sassinak, I’ve never seen her get stoned before work. In fact, I have heard her speak against the idea many times. What anyone does after work is their own business. I think your powers of invention are working overtime.

    Sassinak is not alone in the world when she says silly things in front of relative strangers. I confess that I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth. More than once too. And upon self examination I’m sure everyone who reads this will admit the same. If you’re perfect, I would be the first to applaud. The responsibility must weigh heavily upon your shoulders.

    Consider Sassinak and Mr. Ferrari. You’ve just called your friend a bimbo, and her date a predator. Unless you were there, we have to rely on Sassinak’s word. Having heard firsthand about her night out, I say she’s been unfairly characterized in this forum. None of us have met Mr. Ferrari except Sassinak. Just because he appears to be quite wealthy doesn’t make him some kind of monster. I can’t begin to guess how you formulated such a dismal opinion of someone you’ve never met.

    When you say I “aid and abet self destructive behaviour” I suspect more invention. I can only recall being intruduced to you one occasion, and that was at a party. Of course there may be alcohol and marijuana around. In some circles, passing a joint is an acceptable form of social interaction. If you think smoking a joint at a party is an abomination, perhaps you should stay home. As for the rest of the week, you haven’t got a clue how I spend my time. You would be better off keeping your opinion to yourself.

    I try to reserve judgement and avoid stereotypes when I don’t know a person. Slinging muck in a blog forum makes us all look bad. If Sassinak wants to boink a rich guy with a Ferrari, then it’s her decision. He may turn out to be a manipulative SOB, but Sass is mature enough to dust herself off and move on if that proves to be the case.

    Comment by othercat — September 9, 2007 @ 11:20 am | Reply

  15. The point is Sass is not mature enough to dust herself off and move on. That happens to be the point exactly.

    First she wallows about in an emotional abyss moaning about how the ‘universe’ has somehow undermined her ability to attain her desired goals in this life. It’s not the universe.

    She makes choices and then she gets to experience the consequences of her choices. She won’t accept ownership of these choices instead blaming the consequences on the ‘universe’. A person can’t move on when they perceive themselves always to be the victim of outside influences.

    I think if the ‘universe’ has anything to do with any of it, then it has to do with her prefrontal cortex and it’s inability to make executive decisions that are in her best interests. If this is the problem and it is a defect with which she was born, then I am truly sorry for her. I am even more sorry that in spite of all the people in her life who could direct her in the right way to get the sort of help she needs, they don’t. Instead everytime Sass does something that results in an emotional meltdown and a rant against the universe, her ‘friends’ commiserate with her. Why? Is it because if she ever gets her act together she won’t be the ‘Sass show’ anymore? If so, then that is sadistic. It’s not the sort of thing that ‘friends’ do.

    From what she has written about her experiences at school, it is quite possible that her inability to screen what comes out of her mouth is a problem of longstanding. It’s too bad her experiences at school were so horrible. And it’s even worse considering she has parents who are educated people who could have had the wherewithall to get her some help. As things turned out she is still suffering from the trauma of not being accepted and being cruelly treated by her peers. She has most decidedly NOT dusted herself off and gone on with her life, contrary to what you allege.

    Kids are particularly mean when there’s a weird kid in the class. Adults usually just walk away. Not that they don’t think their thoughts and formulate their opinions. In her case it probably helps that other adults don’t work with her 5 days per week. (Working freelance is hopefully a successful adaptation for her however it doesn’t solve the intense angst and emotional pain she experiences because her behaviour does not elicit the sorts of responses from people that she would like.)

    If you are her good friend, then you should encourage her to get the sort of help she needs so she starts making the sorts of decisions in life that don’t end with wailing about the ‘universe’.

    I have seen Sass when she is stoned, mildly and extremely. And I have also seen her not stoned and I’ve seen her seriously hungover. She admits to drinking rather alarmingly large volumes of alcohol in relatively short time periods. And then she is surprised at how intoxicated she becomes as a result. !!!

    Your point that she doesn’t toke up before work is not helpful and it is not accurate. If she wasn’t on THC two fridays ago, then she was on something else. Her behaviour was bizarre and after saying what she did she disappeared. If she hadn’t, I would have discussed this issue with her then and there and not on the blog.

    I do not have an issue discussing any of this with her.

    Comment by gabi — September 9, 2007 @ 5:42 pm | Reply

  16. It is quite a sobering observation to watch how much inanity men are willing to tolerate and listen to in exchange for the chance of copulating with the ‘girl’ who chatters away for hours on end about little or nothing of interest to the guy. Of course because the females are so busy with their own drama they are unaware of the fact that the guy is just waiting and waiting until he can finally get what he wants.

    Seems like a fair assessment to me. Isn’t this the basis upon which the majority of heterosexual relationships were built? I’m not about to put out until the guy listens to me chatter about my life for a good long while. Unless, of course, he’s rich and drives a Ferrari, in which case I’d be virtually humping the gearshift while attempting to tear open his well-tailored pants.

    Comment by princessvalium — September 9, 2007 @ 5:54 pm | Reply

  17. Hey all,

    Wow, first I take umbrage at some of the comments about me here. I’m not a predator, I like cars, I even race them at Mosport. And for the record I don’t like women who are attracted to some stupid car and I don’t need a car to attract women for sex. Now you’ll have to excuse me as I need to go steal candy from a baby and kick a few kittens.

    Comment by scott — September 9, 2007 @ 5:55 pm | Reply

  18. Hi,
    I can speak for all my family (I am Sassinak’s sister Lia) when I say, Gabi, it’s clear you dislike my sister. Please consider ceasing to visit Sass’ blog. I feel uncomfortable knowing you are reading Sass’ diary along with the comments of her loved ones and acquaintances — not to mention how your comments about her family and friends affect us as well. Your comments have already been read by myself and her parents. As you can imagine, your lack of discretion, cold dissection and deliberately unsympathetic tone have hurt all of us.
    Please go away.

    Comment by lia — September 12, 2007 @ 9:51 am | Reply

  19. Hey Sass – I realize that I am late to this thread, but I couldn’t help but post something. I know we don’t know each other personally, but I have been reading your blog for, oh, about 1 ½ – 2 years or so and I just wanted to say that I don’t see this forum as a “freak show.” I see a woman who is deeply in tune with her emotions and has a rare gift of being able to express those emotions into words. You have a network of good friends, a good family, and the rare opportunity of doing what you love for a living. It is apparent to me that you love life, regardless if it is giving you the ups or if it is giving you the downs. It is the experience that matters and you have decided to share those experiences with us.

    I doubt if I am the only one of your readers who feels this way. I have heard this sentiment from both your good friends from your personal life who check in and from one-time visitors who drop by just to tell you that they have found a particular post “inspiring.” You have something to say, and it has been my experience that those who have nothing to say believe that they do by using their voice to say negative things about the first group (generally speaking, that is…). None of us is perfect and we all have room for change and growth. Yes, you have sometimes used your blog to express your doubts, fears, and sad emotions and for the most part I have seen nothing but sympathy, empathy, support and genuine concern from your readers during those times. I don’t think they come here for a freak show, either. They come here because of who you are and your ability to translate that onto the page (or screen, as the case may be).

    So, after reading all of the negativity in these comments (well intended or not), I felt compelled to write something positive. That’s it. Thanks, Sass.

    Comment by John — September 13, 2007 @ 12:38 pm | Reply

  20. […] of ferraris, explain to me how driving that car has rendered my car more fun! that makes no sense but it’s […]

    Pingback by hello miss goodall « snapshots of an idle mind — September 13, 2007 @ 11:54 pm | Reply

  21. Amen, John.

    I am amazed at how paternalistic some of those above comments are. I can’t believe that such stuff was written in a public forum rather than discussed over a cup of coffee. Speaking of lack of editing being embarassing. Whether we make good choices or bad choices according to others, they are our choices to make. And our blogs are our places to complain about those choices if we want to. And to blame the universe if we want to. Without being judged and embarassed by our friends.

    And who’s to say a sports car isn’t a reason to have some fun with a guy? Or that getting high whenever you want, as an adult, is so questionable? It’s just another day, another choice. If you, critical reader/questionable friend, believe it’s your say, perhaps it’s time to get a child of your own and let adults play as they wish… whether you deem them to be ones or not.

    Comment by sweet l'il gal — September 14, 2007 @ 3:59 pm | Reply

  22. […] know, the one with the ferrari and the driving.  oh right, i may not have told y’all that it was a date.  it was assumed […]

    Pingback by head shakings « snapshots of an idle mind — October 2, 2007 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

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