snapshots of an idle mind

December 31, 2007

there goes another one

.

it’s that time of year again, the time when we eat too much and celebrate our loved ones and our lives or in some cases despair about our lives but no matter who you are you’re thinking right now.

you may be thinking solely about the shenanigans you will be getting up to this evening or perhaps about avoiding the fuss and hiding at home but if nothing else you’re considering your options.

you may, as i am, be thinking about who you will be kissing when the clocks of the city strike midnight or even who you won’t be kissing.

perhaps you are pondering your resolutions. one woman i know takes her resolutions very seriously indeed. last year she resolved to travel and see the world and she went to europe and africa. this is some resolving i can get behind let me tell you.

personally i am usually wont to resolve to do something with no guilt attached. i have oft been heard drunkenly declaiming ‘i resolve to have more fun’ and every year i try to do it. i think this year i will go for something with a little required effort.

perhaps i will resolve to work slightly less or to take a few more full weekends off. i know that i intend to take two weeks off this year which is something i have not done since i started to teach.

in fact i’m planning an actual vacation in february, i’ve even arranged half my substitute teachers already. gawd, an actual vacation, what a trip. it seems funny to have to resolve to do this but it seems i’ve turned into a bit of a workaholic in the last few years.

guess that’s what happens when your small business finally starts to be able to feed you. now i have to learn to say no to my clients, i have far too many days that are twelve or fourteen hours long and that has to stop. in fact i will no longer add new clients before 7:30am or after 7pm but trust me, that’s still more hours in a day than i should be working.

i’m hoping to slowly restrict those hours to 7:30am and 6:30pm but it’s hard. people work and they want me to work when they aren’t working and that leaves me with a brutal schedule.

i’m also thinking of getting a little more picky about who i accept as a client. up until now i’ve been a little bit desperate and i’ve had to take on anyone regardless. i’ve willingly encouraged people to go elsewhere if i didn’t feel that they suited me but always with a bit of a pang. now? now i think i will simply say ‘i’m sorry, i have a waiting list’ or whatever to people who rub me the wrong way when they call.

i want to play with my cats more rather than trusting them to exercise each other and in that light i want to spend more time at my boyfriend’s house because his poor cat is lonely.

i want to save money toward buying a place and create a financial cushion for myself that’s a little more secure than simply keeping a thousand dollars in my savings account… but that’s a start.

most of all? i want to have more patience and be less frustrated and be more open. miss clara hughes said that to the cbc one day and it’s some of the best advice ever. she also said to ‘be better’ to not be simply satisfied with being good but to be better every day. that too is some attitude i can get behind and something i feel like i need.

i still feel myself being more angry that i need to be on occasion and the rage engendered by driving the streets of toronto refuses to fade no matter how gently i approach it. i’m sure there are untapped reservoirs of anger inside myself that i have yet to find but i intend to plumb the depths this year.

life is about self-discovery after all.

i think i resolve to think about clara when i’m at my most angry…

be less frustrated

have more patience

be more open

… don’t just be good, be better

.

happy new year to you and yours.

Advertisements

4 Comments »

  1. Happy New Year to you too, Sass. I’ve fallen into that “have more fun” thing in the past as well. This year I’m just trying to turn off the tv more, enjoy my own brain, spend more time with friends who make me laugh. That’s gotta be good for something!

    You’ll have to keep us posted on your vacation plans! Woo hoo! Congrats on the solid business!!!

    Comment by sweet l'il gal — January 6, 2008 @ 4:35 pm | Reply

  2. The angry/frustrated thing? I hear ya. There are a number of factors that can actually encourage that. Are you where you want to be, doing what you want to be doing, with the one you want to be doing them with? If not, you’ll always resent (at least a little bit) whichever part of that equation you’re not meeting. You seem genuinely happy – that’s good. I won’t pretend to know what you want or need, but you DO seem to have at least *most* of what you want out of life. Maybe there’s just one little thing left that you haven’t achieved. In any case, you certainly seem to be on the right track. Maybe your vacation is the key.

    I’ve been quietly angry and frustrated for years, or, at least I was until recently. It’s a long, depressing story, but soon I’ll be moving to Cabo San Lucas – a place I’ve always wanted to live – and the idea of that alone has improved my outlook dramatically. I wish you all the best things in the world. :)

    Comment by Me — January 7, 2008 @ 6:34 pm | Reply

  3. I like the “not just be good but be better” thingy. I might totally steal it.

    Comment by Natalia — January 10, 2008 @ 5:07 pm | Reply

  4. slg: i think after a while you realise that you’re actually having as much fun as you care to and so it’s time to think about other things… or something.

    i like your ideas, get rid of the negative people and the negative media and find your bliss… dude. go for that!

    will do with the trip to the somewhere warm!
    *
    Me: wow HI nice to see you! it’s funny the comments you make because i’ve had to realize that toronto is my home. i may leave it for a few years and go live in rome/sydney/hong kong/rio/torre del lago, carlisle, ixtapa…

    you know… explore, but i think this is the place i’ll come back to. maybe i’ll approach a resort about opening a studio someday who knows. anyway, for now toronto is home…

    today i found out my credit score is 75 points higher than i thought it was and a lot of angst melted away. you have to be doing okay to have scores like that.

    anyway yeah, i think i’m not taking enough time for myself. i’m practising ‘i’m sorry i only have openings … times’ but it’s HARD not to say yes to them…

    i’m really proud of you for doing that, i think it’s fantastic. maybe i’ll drop in and visit… google maps … oh my sir, look where you get to live!

    nice, drop in and tell us how it is… guest post or something..
    *
    nat: please do, i can’t think of a better motto can you?

    happy new year miss

    Comment by sassinak — January 14, 2008 @ 11:51 pm | Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: