snapshots of an idle mind

July 30, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 10:22 am


so i went to hillside and it was… weird a little.

in some ways i sort of blinked and missed it.  i talked to someone else actually and he said that he felt like he just got there and it was over.  we had been so busy with our volunteer jobs that we kind of didn’t notice the festival going by.

it was nice, and it was hillside and it was still better than being anywhere ELSE in ontario this weekend that’s for sure… but somehow i didn’t quite connect to it or it’s energy.

some years have been about music, and some about connecting with people and still others about whatever my volunteer gig was or dancing or personal discovery or whatever.

this year was about food.

i made my way through the festival like kim cattrall in the sex and the city movie.  i ate ice cream THREE times and had like four or five meals a day plus some snacks.

it was all i could do to let my food digest before i ate something else.

[truly this has been going on for a month or so but hillside was amazingly silly]

i tried all this great food that i couldn’t afford in years past.  couldn’t afford because i bought clothes; none of which appealed to me this year… so i ate.

god the food is amazing at hillside.

there was pakoras and samosas and great great great vegetarian meals and turkey and walnut kafka and organic ice cream and green curry something or other and the most amazing chocolate that i brough a bunch home and oh my god.

oh my god.

it’s so rich and delicious and i’m not sure i’ve ever had chocolate like it.  they grind their own beans on a fixed bicycle!

and the cappuccino guy makes what may be the best cannoli in the world outside of italy.


i ate two of them!

he doesn’t pre make them you see.  you order the cannoli and he takes out the shell and he puts the cream in from the freezer and he dusts it with icing sugar and he hands it to you.  most places the cream is already in the pastry shell and it’s just a little soggy.

these ones are… mmmm so good.


what’s funny is that i’ve been having great food for several weeks now and hillside was kind of the culmination of it all.

my theory is don’t worry about it until labour day and then stress for a few months to get back into the good habits.

then of course you slip at christmas and early winter and then get sane again.

yeesh, food sure is a funny thing.

we love it so much but we hate it at the same time.

if only it was the cannoli and not the broccoli that was the healthy choice…

and i even LIKE broccoli.


anyway i think hillside for me this year was the kickoff to a month of relaxation and in a way i treated it that way.

i’m going to two festivals, my parents place twice, camping party all just in the next month AND i’m taking the last week of august off.

SECOND vacation in five years boo yeah!

i know, and i bought equipment and i took a week off in february too!  [the aforementioned FIRST vacation in five years in fact.]

i’m really tired, i can’t wait to spend a week at the farm in the quiet and just doing physical work or reading or whatever…

sounds like heaven.



July 21, 2008

premature anti-climax

Filed under: bliss,dancing,festivals,life,music,pilates,Uncategorized,work — sassinak @ 10:16 pm

so as some of you are aware the hillside festival is this weekend.

as those of you who have paid attention to this blog for a long time are aware i tend to get very excited about hillside many weeks in advance and stay high from it for weeks afterward.

not so much this year.

in fact, next year? next year i think that i will attend as a patron instead. in fact i think i will do that from now on.

there is something very attractive about the idea of having a campsite of my own over near the showers or up by the nice beach or whatever. volunteer camping is losing it’s allure and well.

there’s something changing about the vibe that i can’t explain. i feel like the festival is at the point where it’s a well oiled machine but that that’s not entirely a positive thing.

i used to feel that, as a volunteer, my contribution to the festival was important. i also used to feel like a valued member of something and now?

now i feel more like hrm… like to them they are doing me the favour of allowing me to attend as a volunteer. that they don’t need *me* and even maybe just a little like they’d rather i weren’t there.

and i totally know that i’m the paranoid type okay?

i further know that i’m neurotic and likely to assume the worst based on very few clues… but i still kind of wish that i wasn’t going. well no, that’s not true.

i more just kind of wish that i were going to see the music instead. so i talked to othercat and next year we’re going to do that for a change.

imagine getting to go see ANY band you wanted.

imagine that?

i think that i rather like the idea strangely enough. i think we’re gonna do it.

this is, of course, subject to a revote on sunday but well… it feels pretty like a done great idea at this point :)

man the sleep we’ll get without the people shouting inches from my bed. plus going out for breakfast every morning if we want… nah, that part it too much work unless we’re accidentally up early.
and then i might volunteer to do workshops instead…


breath, pilates and the pelvic floor; a frank discussion of sex with jokes and exercises to take home.

or volunteer pilates…

July 9, 2008

thank you sir

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 5:29 pm


sometimes you get to be a part of something awesome just because.

just because someone thinks of something and picks you to do it. or because you’re sitting in the right place at the right time… or because you’re wearing a great hat.


i attended the mariposa folk festival last weekend with my bestest friend othercat where we volunteered in unbelievably boring jobs, ran into old friends, made new friends, danced (me), sat around and listened to awesome music, drank some whisky (duh irish) and ate terrible food.

well terrible is an interesting word in this context.

i ate more ice cream and french fries than i ever usually do in a month this last weekend and each and every single one of them was DELICIOUS… but it’s still terrible food. and don’t even get me started on the wonder that is sweet and salty kettle cooked popcorn.

oh mah gah!!! (hi terry)

seriously it was so good and i gained five or seven pounds in THREE DAYS!


it wasn’t all good. i was enjoying a great set of live blues by the legendary taj mahal in the way i ALWAYS enjoy great blues or other dancin’ tunes when lo and behold the audience started shouting “down in front” at the dancers.

now, i MIGHT sympathize except for a few minor details:

– half the ‘blankets only’ area was empty save for cold and wet blankets that no one had sat on all day (seriously i know this because i sat on several of them throughout the afternoon)

– it’s the BLUES… get up and DANCE for god’s sake

– there is NOT ONE place near main stage at mariposa where you can dance AND hear/see the band. you can dance behind the soundbooth or off to the side where the sound is not too good and the visibility is nil.

– the festival is trying to attract a YOUNGER crowd…

uhm whut?!?

seriously can’t comprehend how cigarettes are more welcome than dancers…


it’s funny what hanging out at hillside does to spoil a girl. i go to other festivals and spend a lot of time disappointed at the waste or the lack of recycling or the not so great garbage habits and so on.

i don’t mind at summerfolk because they are following hillside’s example as fast as they can and such things are steadily improving. but come on people y’all are the ex-hippies and you’re using little 500ml water bottles and tossing the plastic in the trash like it grows on trees or something. aren’t you supposed to be the tree hugging sprout eaters?

funny this world the hippies wrought; filled with conspicuous consumption and disposable everything.


still and all, amid the mild disappointment i discovered some great new music and got to meet my friend nathan‘s wife and daughter and managed to get complimented for dancing by at least a few people so all is not lost.

and then nathan made the entire weekend worthwhile in one fell swoop (as if meeting his gorgeous family wasn’t enough!)

you see the folk community lost a legend to leukemia last thursday (Oliver Schroer) and nathan lost a personal friend. strangely enough the leukemia people were AT mariposa raising money. so, during his last set nathan had me pass my awesome hat in oliver’s name around the pub tent.

awesome hat:

(actual photo was taken in cuba)

(actual photo was taken in cuba)

the hat may even have inspired the move… but really i think it’s just that nathan is that kind of guy. so, there i am with my hat right?

nathan calls me up to pass the hat and people basically mob me for nearly ten minutes to put money in my hat. they were so generous that i was forced to steal a hat off a lovely gentleman’s head and send it on its way around the tent without me!

the thing about this is the way they chased me with money. no one was willing to be missed, if i missed them and was walking away a whole crowd would point me in the missed person’s direction and all of them wanted to make contact with me somehow.

touching my arm or meeting my eyes before they dropped their change or bills into the hat, saying people’s names or upending their change purses. it was as though they wanted to pour hope into the hat with their change (and bills, we got 200 dollars in BILLS alone and that hat was full of change!) or somehow make contact with me as a vessel.

i was so touched i nearly started crying several times [and then in the middle of it some lady thanked me for dancing all weekend and told me how much she enjoyed it!] i wish you could have seen them you guys it was amazing.

thanks nathan, that was a profoundly powerful experience for me and i’m touched and privileged to have gotten to do that.

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