snapshots of an idle mind

September 12, 2008



so i have some news that will not please some of you; nayrb and i decided a while ago to call it quits.

we were… not treating each other as well as we might have and all the talking in the world wasn’t making it better.  worse maybe since i think the talking was irritating us rather than doing any good.

basically we got steadily less nice to each other.  i got impatient and frustrated and he got kinda needy and we just kept pushing buttons and not really treating each other with kindness.

i’ve been kind of in shock really.

it’s not so much that we believed that we would *never* break up but that we had this deep affection for each other over and above the usual new toy neurological imperatives.  we expected that we would be able to deal with whatever the universe chose to throw at us, that we would at least be together for a few years.

and then it just started to go bad and it didn’t get better.


look a picture of me!  in my studio!  in my living room! on the phone!

me n' my studio...

me n' my studio...

isn’t it purty?


weirder even than being single again?



look harriet!




mouse with the same ball!

my ball!

my ball!


there, see how i distract you with pictures?

really though, he and i are both okay and i’m pretty sure we both think this is for the best.  we remain friendly and are in fact considering throwing a ‘sass n’nayrb split up – bring someone suitable’ party but we’re not sure everyone else would appreciate the humor involved.

still considering it though.


i think maybe the things we saw as problems the very first week might have had a lot to do with it, hard to say though.


in other news; i’m thinking of leaving my band.

there is a person in it who continues to make me uncomfortable in a pretty shitty way some two or three times a year.  and i know it’s her problem and not mine i *really really* do but that doesn’t mean i particularly want her negativity in my life any longer.

it’s desperately difficult for me to imagine not hitting my drum and singing at the top of my lungs every thursday night but aren’t these things supposed to make you happy!???!

truly i love the band and i regret regularly that i ever mentioned it in her presence.  i think i knew from the first that it would come to this but i don’t know how else to handle it.

i love the guys in that band i really do; they are some of the most amazing people that i have in my life and their bickering and interaction and just general good-natured fun with each other never cease to amuse me [except for the occasional moments when i want to kill them of course.]

either way, after her latest insult i will have to stay away for a little while for fear that i will say what i think.  she is a rather fragile human and most of her issue with me seems to stem from lack of self-confidence so really, anything i say will only serve to make it worse.

frankly i wish i could tell her to take her crap and fuck off.  but i can’t… the guys adore us both.

dammit! dammit! dammit!


doesn’t harriet look hilarious with that ball and the sun?


happy weekend!



  1. I love the pictures!

    Comment by cremelloquarterpony — September 12, 2008 @ 7:00 pm | Reply

  2. Long time no see! Ahh break-ups. So fun! Even more fun, knowing the only way you can break-up is to go through a legal proceeding that pretty much requires you to lose half your assets. YIPPEEE! As I say, better to know sooner than later, yes? PS: Baller studio!

    Comment by erizzle — September 14, 2008 @ 11:05 am | Reply

  3. oh wow, wasn’t expecting this one. love your place and the kitty tho. :)

    hey check yer g-mail when you have a chance.


    Comment by Matt Vella — September 14, 2008 @ 3:00 pm | Reply

  4. miss pony: why thank you! i do too, my friend pile took them.

    e!!! yay it’s an e again! you’re right, it is better than a divorce since even if those are uncontested and there’s no stuff division the damn divorce still costs a grand!


    matt: aren’t my cats the prettiest ever?

    will do, any time now i’ll even answer!

    Comment by sassinak — September 15, 2008 @ 11:35 pm | Reply

  5. :P

    Comment by Matt Vella — September 15, 2008 @ 11:59 pm | Reply

  6. divorce sucks, but sometimes looks so attractive.

    Comment by erizzle — September 18, 2008 @ 8:01 am | Reply

  7. Thanks for posting an update and the fab pictures.
    I must get over and see your apartment one day, before the baby comes.
    Send me an email if/when you want to get together.

    Comment by clarity — October 1, 2008 @ 1:22 am | Reply

  8. My Dearest Sass, I have missed your entertaining view of life. You always have such a way of looking at things that brings about the positive.

    I love your new studio and the picture of you is amazing.

    Thank you for your kind compliments about my weight loss. It’s been a long road, but worth every bump in the road. I’m still working on losing more weight, but mostly just trying to tone what’s already there. As for the skin issue, it’s there, but it’s much less than it would be had I not worked my arse off to make it go away.

    Anyway, great seeing you around again!

    Comment by signgurl — October 3, 2008 @ 2:24 pm | Reply

  9. matt: what i answered!

    elle: yeah sometimes it really does… and sometimes you stop feeling like that and sometimes the feeling grows so much that you have to do it.. and i think only time will tell.

    clarity: yeah you should really see my place, it’s ridiculously gorgeous!

    anyway i emailed…

    signgurl: thank you! i’ve been slowly coming back to this blog in fits and starts. i don’t think i’ll ever post as often as i once did but i feel the need to keep this space alive.

    thanks the photographer is very talented!

    they weren’t kind, they were true!

    Comment by sassinak — October 8, 2008 @ 5:43 pm | Reply

  10. {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    I’m sorry that things didn’t work out, but I know that there is something (someone) who DESERVES a wonderful person like you in their lives. Hang in there, roomie!

    Comment by Harleygael — October 10, 2008 @ 12:22 pm | Reply

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