snapshots of an idle mind

December 3, 2008

sticky fingers

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 8:20 am

.

i’m sorry that i haven’t been here.  i got some very bad news on october 24th in the afternoon and i basically couldn’t seem to figure out what to say or where to start.  my friend is dead.  that is all.

anyway i’ve been reeling and eating way too much (seriously i’m kinda like fattish again… or at least i’m developing some extra curves) food that doesn’t even taste good and i’ve been drinking a little more than i drink and basically just being in shock and not taking very good care of myself.

and i keep expecting that to improve.

like i’ll just be fine now since it’s been like a month and a whole menstrual cycle.

but i’m just kind of in this disconnected funk and i can’t really get out of it.

so i thought i would post this piece of a post started years ago with a few additions at the end and let my sticky fingers keep resting…

.

“things i know to be true”[read this first and then read this the continuation of the list here]

because this list should never end…

. life is supposed to hurt otherwise it’s worthless..

. if you have to ask how my date went, you already know

. it is unbelievable how refreshing a man is that admits that he likes you

. pilates is like crack for your body

. climbing makes pretty muscles

. i’m not fat anymore

. my new shirt is fantastic

. some people like drama more than they like the people in their lives

. i have a lot of email to answer

. my other new shirt is fantastic!

. i like this blog more than i like some of the people in my life

. i’m seeing someone

. yeah i didn’t see it coming either

. and since this post started last year i’m not anymore.

. and that status has changed and changed again still since.

. it’s hard when you like people more than they like you

. it’s harder when people like you more than you like them

. okay it’s a tie

. too much is worse than not enough

. or is it the other way around?

. i’m sort of in love with another cat [it was dumped at the farm, and it’s lovely and black and totally sweet if anyone wants a cat. should probably be an outdoor cat that’s welcome in the house but it may come in and never ever want out again. it tries to come in a lot.]{this is no longer relevant}

. lying is never easier, no never

. i will approach you with cautious but willing trust, sincerity and goodwill. i will expect the same in return and be sad when i do not get that, but i will try every time to stay willing and open

. some loves hit you over the head like a sack of hammers and leave you ever different

others come upon you slowly and steal into your heart when you’re not even looking

. guests who won’t leave after you tell them to are extra frustrating

. dating shouldn’t be work

. sex is an excellent aphrodisiac

. i need a source of cardio that doesn’t bore the shit out of me. any suggestions?

. i never want to go to bed at bedtime. i never have and i probably never will

. all of the truth isn’t always the truth you should tell

. any kind of love is fine, it’s your hate you gotta watch (margaret cho)

. one second of inattention can ruin your whole life

. making out with strangers is more fun than i care to admit

. if you don’t know what to do, ask your inner eight and eighty year olds. they’re smart, they know what you really want to do.

. in any long running dispute, both sides are equally at fault (inglis sign)

. it’s one thing for a guy to catch your eye. and quite another for them to catch your mind (terry – queen dork)

. it’s funny what you give up sometimes when you’re looking in another direction.

. it’s especially important to tell the truth when it’s hard

. once you lose truth the trust and caring needs must follow

. forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me (anonymous)

. love is friendship set on fire (anonymous)

. rain on leaves and distant crickets is one of the most soothing sounds there is

. i’m sad but my life is still good

. sadness and depression are not the same thing.

it’s learning to tell the difference that’s hard

. my new boots are ridiculously gorgeous

. it’s rude to rsvp to a party and then not show up AND not call

. driving on a country road in the fall is one of the nicer ways on earth to spend an afternoon

. i wish people would stop assuming that their personal belief system around sex (or religion for that matter) is the ‘one true way’ and that everyone else is ‘wrong’

. pain is important for perspective (debauchette)

. shopping for sperm donors is a strange and surreal experience

. i have the best job i’ve ever had

. it’s time for my nap

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6 Comments »

  1. “sadness and depression are not the same thing”

    it always amazes me when people don’t look at it like that and lump every negative, not-so-rosey state of being into this landfill labelled depression.

    you can’t just snap out of a depression, you can snap out of sadness.

    Comment by erizzle — December 4, 2008 @ 10:40 am | Reply

  2. did i really say that? i don’t remember that at all, but i agree…!!

    another fabulous post, sass, filled with wisdom.

    i’m so sorry for your loss.

    Comment by terry — December 5, 2008 @ 2:18 am | Reply

  3. Napping is the ‘one true way’ and everyone else is ‘wrong’.

    I also don’t like to go to bed at bedtime. I’m avoiding bedtime right now as a matter of fact.

    I’m sorry for your loss.

    Comment by clarity — December 5, 2008 @ 9:19 pm | Reply

  4. Hey Sass,

    Sorry for your loss.

    Comment by Lee Anne — December 10, 2008 @ 6:41 pm | Reply

  5. Hey Sass,

    I’m sorry to hear that things are so crap right now. And I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I don’t really have anything to add except to say that I’m thinking about you and hope that things get better soon.

    And try to take care of yourself. There is such a slippery slope from ‘not taking care of yourself’ to physiologically induced blues. I’m sure you know, Ms. Pilates, that taking care of your body will be one of the best ways to get to feeling better. It can’t hurt.

    Hugs
    xx
    SLG

    Comment by Sweet li'l gal — December 11, 2008 @ 12:04 pm | Reply

  6. elle: that might be the best description that i’ve ever heard.
    .

    terry: you totally said that, i wrote it down in my quotes file the second that i read it.

    thanks!
    .

    clarity: mmm napping.

    i totally agree
    .

    lee anne: thanks! give me some news!
    .

    slg: well my life is okay for ME, it’s just shitty for a lot of people i care about.

    thanks slg it helps to hear that sort of thing.

    oh dude i know, i’ve been eating too much and not exercising but it’s changing now, i’ve found some new workout partners… you know, it’s getting better :)

    Comment by sassinak — December 30, 2008 @ 7:05 pm | Reply


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