i have, in my life, dated and friended people both generous and selfish. in many ways you don’t notice the difference at first but you always do in the end.
i know some folks who truly believe that the world owes them something. that they are entitled to some kind of free ride or something simply because they exist and consider themselves awesome.
and at first it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter at all that someone is generous or selfish because people are always on their best behaviour when they first make new friends. so you don’t pay attention to or see the nickel and diming or the failure to give of themselves.
but then the relationship grows and you start to notice things.
whether sexually or otherwise these people don’t share or maybe it’s that they don’t give.
it’s like the difference between people who like to give gifts and people who like to receive them. personally i LOVE when i nail it with a gift; when i actually manage to surprise someone with something perfect whether it’s expensive or not.
and yet some folks prefer to count what they get. to try to count what they give and what they get and think about whether the scales are balanced or what you owe them.
but what the counters don’t realise? the crucial thing that they’re missing?
when you count you miss the fun part. the part where you give without counting and receive with thanks and good grace. where everyone gives what they will and tries to please the other without worrying about who owes what.
when people give without thinking, without worry as to the reward they make it easy to give in return. so then what you have is a relationship between two people who take care of each other without regard to debt or payment or owing and without demands.
and if everyone is generous with the people they love without thinking about a bill? suddenly you have one of those magical lifelong friendships that nurture you when you’re down and hurting.
when you most need the world to take care of you someone actually might.
and if you do that with everyone in your life?
give them the nice thoughts you think and the love you feel for them?
well then you have a circle around you to keep you glowing inside no matter what happns in your life. people you love who love you back and care for you as you care for them.
there are some old proverbs out there that really do sum this up;
every thing you send out will come back to you three fold
and it harm none, do what thou wilt
do unto others as you would have them do unto you
say the nice things that you think and try to swallow the nasty ones
yes, that last one is mine.
of course you have to be careful with your generous friends too. it’s easy to get expectatious toward people who like to give of themselves and their things.
you can see how easy it might be right?
well you know … if he knew i wanted it he would make it happen right? i mean what if i just drop a little hint? what if i drop a big hint?hey why isn’t he getting the big fat hint that i’m dropping? damn ungenerous bastard!
expectations, deadly things aren’t they?
i was really sorry to hear about the fire at maitland street but i don’t seem to have your email address. i assume that both you and faust are okay?
i don’t seem to be blogging here much anymore, make sure to rss me instead of wasting time checking back…
i have a more adult blog, if you want to read it send me an email.