snapshots of an idle mind

May 14, 2009

greedy guts

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 2:09 pm

i have, in my life, dated and friended people both generous and selfish.  in many ways you don’t notice the difference at first but you always do in the end.

i know some folks who truly believe that the world owes them something.  that they are entitled to some kind of free ride or something simply because they exist and consider themselves awesome.

and at first it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter at all that someone is generous or selfish because people are always on their best behaviour when they first make new friends.  so you don’t pay attention to or see the nickel and diming or the failure to give of themselves.

but then the relationship grows and you start to notice things. 

whether sexually or otherwise these people don’t share or maybe it’s that they don’t give.

it’s like the difference between people who like to give gifts and people who like to receive them.  personally i LOVE when i nail it with a gift; when i actually manage to surprise someone with something perfect whether it’s expensive or not.

and yet some folks prefer to count what they get.  to try to count what they give and what they get and think about whether the scales are balanced or what you owe them.

but what the counters don’t realise?  the crucial thing that they’re missing?

when you count you miss the fun part.  the part where you give without counting and receive with thanks and good grace.  where everyone gives what they will and tries to please the other without worrying about who owes what.

when people give without thinking, without worry as to the reward they make it easy to give in return.  so then what you have is a relationship between two people who take care of each other without regard to debt or payment or owing  and without demands.

and if everyone is generous with the people they love without thinking about a bill?  suddenly you have one of those magical lifelong friendships that nurture you when you’re down and hurting.

when you most need the world to take care of you someone actually might.

and if you do that with everyone in your life? 

give them the nice thoughts you think and the love you feel for them?

well then you have a circle around you to keep you glowing inside no matter what happns in your life.  people you love who love you back and care for you as you care for them.

there are some old proverbs out there that really do sum this up;

every thing you send out will come back to you three fold

and it harm none, do what thou wilt

do unto others as you would have them do unto you

say the nice things that you think and try to swallow the nasty ones

yes, that last one is mine. 

of course you have to be careful with your generous friends too.  it’s easy to get expectatious toward people who like to give of themselves and their things.

you can see how easy it might be right?

well you know … if he knew i wanted it he would make it happen right?  i mean what if i just drop a little hint?  what if i drop a big hint?hey why isn’t he getting the big fat hint that i’m dropping?  damn ungenerous bastard!

expectations, deadly things aren’t they?

.

hi leanne

i was really sorry to hear about the fire at maitland street but i don’t seem to have your email address.  i assume that both you and faust are okay?

.

i don’t seem to be blogging here much anymore, make sure to rss me instead of wasting time checking back…

i have a more adult blog, if you want to read it send me an email.

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5 Comments »

  1. Sometimes people have trouble receiving. I find it to be the most generous of folks that feel they are putting someone out when they are receiving something. If it is in ones nature to just give, isn’t that the other extreme of one who feels entitled to everything for nothing?

    I have a saying too:

    One cannot know wealth without knowing poverty.
    One cannot know poverty without knowing wealth.

    There is a third option – one who works their ass off, makes a lot of money and shares it with no one. To me, that is a cold soul.

    Comment by E — May 14, 2009 @ 3:36 pm | Reply

  2. beauriful, sass. reminds me how lucky i am to have so many generous people in my life.

    Comment by terry — May 17, 2009 @ 1:10 am | Reply

  3. It’s a tricky balance. On one hand, money isn’t everything. On the other, those gentlepeeps who say that cashola’s not important have never been poor. Yap, I’ve been lucky enough in my lifetime to know the value of karma and know better than to be so silly to not have what-goes-around on my side.

    Grim but wise.

    Comment by ehm cee — May 18, 2009 @ 8:37 pm | Reply

  4. Hey Sass,

    As you know me and the lil’ devil are fine. Faust and I had no smoke inhalation. Faust was more traumatized by the sound the Jacuzzi made at the hotel we were put up in. You would’ve thought he was being attacked by a gila monster when I turned it on.

    He has, um, minor improvements with age. I’m sending you a gmail with my new apartment pics.

    Comment by Lee — June 5, 2009 @ 7:42 pm | Reply

  5. Yup, friendship in this world of capitalism is grossly undervalued.
    It is one thing that sure gives you happiness, freedom and a careless laugh.
    Personally for me, money is something i am scared of, and i want to keep a good stock of it, coz have had a hard childhood, had no money, didn’t go out, didn’t have much friends. So i guess it is friends that i missed out on, that i rue the most.

    There are times in relationships when people get hurt. And at times, people decide that the reason for this was that they opened themselves up too much, exposed themselves and that is why they got hurt. It is a very logical thought to avoid this in the future, but the need for friendship and intimacy remains. So the workaround is to take what you want, but don’t give it, protect yourself so that you don’t get hurt. But loosing yourself in a relationship is a different experience altogether.

    Regarding the expectations thing, what i have concluded is that it is unwise to make rules. Every time i have got hurt, i have analyzed and understood the situation and decided to behave in a particular way. But God has been kind enough to show me that my plan is not foolproof. Bullshit is in this world, and i am going to get hurt if i attach myself to something. There are no rules that would prevent this. I think it is good to be myself no matter what happens. There was this awesome quote that i read “Work like you don’t need the money, love like you have never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching” Really love it

    Comment by Hemant Kumar — June 24, 2009 @ 7:30 am | Reply


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