snapshots of an idle mind

January 21, 2009

sweet sadness

Filed under: anxiety,bitter pills,bliss,cars,driving,engines,grief,life,random,surreal — sassinak @ 3:17 pm

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well, it’s official, i have a new car.

okay not entirely official as i don’t take delivery until this afternoon but you know what i mean.  it’s paid for (with some help) and the plates are off my old car and sitting in the windshield/back window.

i may have driven my old honda for the last time and i’m abjectly sad about it.

i understand that i will love my new car just as much and that i will be just as broken hearted when my mechanic says “it’s time, your car is dead” but that isn’t any consolation to me now.

there are a few reasons i’m unhappy about this transition, not the least of which is that i expected to get another five years about of my perfectly tuned, corners like a bmw, gets phenomenal mileage accord.  expected in vain because the body rotted out from under me with very little warning.

in fact i’m a little bit pissed off at my mechanic for not making me understand what was happening.  why was i fixing a rotten car?  why wasn’t i made to understand 3-5 years ago that i needed to spend some money on the body?

how was this a SURPRISE?

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there is something so *wrong* about throwing out something so perfectly tuned.  i know the body is rotten but the engine has another 200,000km in it EASY.

ah well, i think i found a guy who is going to find a solid body and use my parts to build a car… so at least he’s getting something out of it.

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so here i am all broken hearted right?

all sad about the passing of this beautiful machine…

and yet?

and yet there’s a little joy here.

i’m getting my very first NEW car!

not new to me, NEW.

as in no one but me has ever driven it (okay, on and off the truck and the broker is driving it to my house but you know what i’m saying) and i have to break in the engine.

as in i get to be the only person who cares for this car and i will know implicitly every bolt that gets changed and fluid that gets dirty and if it dies it will be entirely my responsibility.

it will be *mine* from the day it got sold until the day i sell it or my mechanic looks at me mournfully and says “it’s time, get a new car.”

and that’s cool right?

i should be excited to own my very first new car and i am… i mean i’m totally stoked and i am fully aware that i will fall madly in love with it in time… it’s just i’m having a hard time getting past the senseless waste of it’s predecessor.

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oh you wanna know what i got?

2008.5 mazda 3 sedan, five speed with no air… cause i like don’t like the air and the power anything…

i do like the ipod plug though… kind of an improvement over the tape deck

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in other news, what is with these idiots who get high performance cars in an automatic?

or worse, with a manual transmission and NO IDEA how to WORK IT???

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only thing worse?

porsche sport utility vehicle…

i mean really, isn’t that an oxymoron?

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oh wow oh wow oh wow

my car is almost here and the plates are off my accord…

god i’m sad for my accord.

man i’m excited about my very first new car…

wow wow wow.

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and for those of you who know how much i love old things?

yes, i really did basically buy the new car version of the old car i’m throwing out….

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anyone wanna buy a really good engine?

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September 7, 2007

oh shit, now i have to become independently wealthy…

Filed under: bliss,cars,driving,engines,ferrari,life,surreality — sassinak @ 11:41 am

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or cylinder envy part deux.

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or oh my, be careful what you wish for even inadvertently.

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yesterday i had the singular privilege of riding in a ferrari.

oh my god you guys you have no idea how hot these cars actually are until you’re in one. i mean sure they’re pretty and they certainly look and sound hot flying by you on the street but somehow, somehow you just don’t get it until you’re sitting in one.

when you’re IN the damm thing you can feel all that power and somehow the happy throaty growl of a well tuned engine on the prowl cannot be replicated no matter how you drive beside it. you have to be in it to get it, you just do.

not to mention the incredible urge to stroke the freaking thing. it’s just so pretty you want to pet it like a really expensive slate-grey cat.

funny things happen when you’re in one of these cars, some guy was so busy ogling the car that he forgot to watch the road and tried very hard to take out our front end while he was drooling over it. literally had his head hanging out the window looking back at us instead of watching where he was driving.

he then informed us that this car must be better than sex whereupon i came up with one of my better lines and replied “clearly you haven’t had sex with me” and he just shook his head and drooled and then the light turned green and he took off as fast as his little accord (one of the ugly ones…. the whole 1994-2006 line of accords is ugly) would take him in some strange attempt to show off.

unfortunately he did it while looking back at us and nearly took out a parked car!

anyway people point and stare and chase your car and take pictures and parking enforcement officers half the time don’t even ticket it…

but then.

oh my god

but then.

clearly my evident appreciation for this gorgeous beast and my questions about transmissions and my total car nutsness had their way with the driver and he whips into mount pleasant cemetery and stops the car and says ‘get out’ and i do.

i think we’re going for a walk in the cemetery. oh no.

not so much.

“come here” says he and i do. “get in and drive” he says and i gulp and sort of look like a panicked deer in the headlights and stare at him.

“but i might break it!”

i mean literally i was so excited and really rather terrified at the same time. i think it was worse than a virgin on her wedding night!

okay maybe not that bad.

anyway so in i get with great trepidation and very gingerly place my hands on the wheel and he adjusts all the seats and mirrors and sticks it in automatic mode (rather than manual) and sort of looks expectant.

torontof430.jpg

(yes that’s the actual ferrari i drove sitting at mosport…)

like i’m stepping on an egg i touch the accelerator and start to drive. drive like i’m just learning how and i’m afraid of all the buttons… and oh my you guys. you can’t possibly get how awesome driving a ferrari is until you do it.

mount pleasant cemetery is an old old institution in toronto that happens to have great little windy roads everywhere… View Map

so i drive around and play with the corners and then change to manual mode to try the paddle shifting and generally just giggle like a twelve year old while driving around on what is effectively a little baby private track. except then i run into another city street and he says “okay take it out”

and i’m like “you’re nuts mister… but okay”

and off we fly down this road and that with him all the time chuckling over the responses people give to a woman driving a ferrari and me totally laughing at how much fun this car is from a dead stop. cause yeah, my honda is fun out of lights but this? wow.

eventually we’re on a lovely road through the don valley and “floor it” he says and i do and it throws me back into my seat and “try the brakes” which i slam on and holy shit. SO GOOD.

anyway i take it to a dead stop in the middle of the road and then just punch it (shut up i looked if there were cars behind me first!) and wow. wow.

you guys i do.NOT.HAVE.WORDS!

about the best way i can describe how awesome driving a ferrari is is to say that for the first time EVER in my life i suddenly feel a little bit of this quest for wealth. i mean hey, if i can make a million bucks i can buy a ferrari… or maybe i’ll make a half a million and buy a twenty year old ferrari… or or or…

dudes it’s SO MUCH FUN!

so yeah, you thought i had cylinder envy on wednesday?

*laughs fool head off*

i had no earthly idea. none.

i heard little growly purrings in my ears all night long… (well okay i heard some other stuff too… lol)

September 5, 2007

cylinder envy

Filed under: cars,driving,engines,life,motorcycles,random — sassinak @ 3:38 pm

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i know, i’m supposed to want a penis rather than a vagina but i currently have a raging case of cylinder envy instead. this is particularly surprising if you understand the depth of love i hold for my auld honda.

i mean this car and i? we’ve been through a lot. with the possible exception of some books i don’t think that there’s much i’ve had for longer… thinking thinking… oh and some old ikea furniture.

sassmobile.jpg

anyway i’m the kind of person that gets attached to things and then has a hard time parting with them. so, i will of course end up designating my car an antique someday and stubbornly continuing to fix it.

okay okay i won’t, but i’m holding out for a non-petroleum using vehicle if i can manage it because i don’t like to take the environmental hit of building a new car when my old one still gets 30mpg (12km/L) in the summer. that said, the hybrids are FINALLY starting to get better mileage than i do so my tune may change.

i did see a car (honda fit) that i would get as my next used car if need be though which is a change, first time in ten years i’ve liked anything i’ve seen as much as what i’m already driving.

but that is not the point of this post. the point (what? i have those occasionally!) the point is that i have never understood why anyone would bother to spend a ton of money on an ugly car. i can CERTAINLY understand the point of beggaring yourself for something as pretty as a lamborghini diablo…

2001lamborghinidiablo6294-e.jpg

because seriously, that car is one of the most staggeringly beautiful things i’ve ever seen (particularly the one rocky drove that was black with a ‘sothpaw’ plate… love it since i are one too.)

but i could never understand the point of these high end luxury cars. they’re ugly and usually ballless and don’t look like any kind of fun to drive… like for example this maserati [for the record maserati makes fucking beautiful sports cars…]:

maserati_quattroporte_sportgt_2007_440x220.jpg

kinda ugly and not very exciting at all. not NEARLY as ugly as the one i saw the other day. and until the other day i just could NOT understand why anyone would blow a ridiculous amount of money on something kinda ugly and made for five passengers and yet still all high end.

and then i was coming out of a light on bloor street beside a significantly uglier maserati than this. there we were all neck and neck and i’m thinking ‘as if i’m letting this ugly piece of crap pass me out of a light. yeah right’ and we’re neck and neck until we shift into second and then this guy goes “whatever” and corks it.

dude left me there like i wasn’t even moving which is how i know it’s a maserati…i read the back.

this NEVER happens. i beat PORSCHES out of lights. regularly.

and suddenly, suddenly i got it.

THAT is why any one would spend stupid amounts of money on an ugly car. it has balls.

i have cylinder envy.

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speaking of cylinder envy…

i’ve been seeing motorcycles everywhere i go.

motorcycles that remind me of the one i had once that was then promptly stolen. motorcycles that make me yearn to wrap myself around a motor on two wheels and go flying around corners at ridiculous speeds and crazy angles.

motorcycles that make me want to learn to corner on my knees… which would necessitate knee pucks…

motorcycles that make me realise i cannot go another year without riding one again…

ten years… my old M license is languishing…

yup, cylinder envy…

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client’s finally here!

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