snapshots of an idle mind

January 17, 2009

winterlicious

Filed under: bliss,exercise,family,life,outside,pics,seasonal,surreality,work — sassinak @ 9:45 pm

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i am having the strangest week…

not strange bad, more in the sense of all over the place and utterly unpredictable.

for a long time my business has had one source of referrals other than my existing clients and this has bothered me; not enough to advertise or get a job in a gym but enough.  i never like being dependent on one thing because there is always the risk that the person doing the referring will suddenly decide that they don’t like me anymore.

i haven’t been particularly worried because i tend to be extremely competent and this leads to less trouble than the average self-employed pilates instructor might experience.

you see my clients send me their wives/husbands/best friends and with that kind of loyalty my business can do nothing but grow.  it might grow slowly but it will grow nonetheless.

anyway this week i met a gynecologist who asked for my card and promised referrals (one of my areas of specialisation happens to be post partum women with pelvic floor/incontinence/sexual health issues) and a personal trainer client asked for a stack of cards and in fact referred someone to me already.

so suddenly? 

i went from one to three referral sources in a week!!!

this is truly awesome, not to mention that my clients send me more and more clients each year.  hmm maybe i can stop working at seven thirty in the evening someday…

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in the meantime…

on thursday night i had dinner with a being who can make a million dollars on a ten minute phone call from a lounger on grand cayman (married, hush y’all)

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on friday night i met a woman who runs her own company and happens to be getting arthritis in her feet.  what does this mean? 

that none of her 40 years worth of shoes fit her anymore.

why does this matter to me?

i have TWENTY ONE!!!!! new pairs of high heels (well a few are flats) to add to my already ridiculous shoe collection. 

i was like a kid in a candy store i’m telling you!

god you guys some of them are SOOOO sexy.

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and on saturday?

on saturday my father enlisted my help to dig a hole. 

this would not normally be worthy of mention except for two or three little details:

it happens to be a measly nineteen below centigrade today (a mere minus two fahrenheit) and has been at least that cold for days.  it’s not traditionally known to be good hole digging weather.

of course we *were* in a steel structure, that raised the temperature at least 0.1 degree by removing the wind chill so it was really positively balmy in there…

furthermore he wanted us to dig the hole down several feet… (we gave up at the two foot mark and decided to wait for spring)

and still none of that would be worth mentioning except for this:

that is a real grin

that is a real grin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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is that not the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen?

no like ever?

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the tragedy of my life is that i found hacking away at a frozen solid piece of earth with my father to be ridiculously fun.

best part was after we got down a foot or so he carefully positioned a space heater in the hole, covered it with a tarp, and headed in to the house for lunch.

i was sure the whole place would go up in flames but nope, back we come to a hole that is frozen solid except for three inches of mud.  you can see the mud in the pic.

even funnier is that about fifteen minutes after this pic was taken the hat was off, the scarf was gone and my jacket was hanging open… but the camera was frozen ;>

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i was *going* to do some cardio (aka ride mom’s stationary bike) but i decided that two hours with a pickaxe had to count and said screw it.

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and then tomorrow?

off to go skiing….

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you have to admit, it’s been kind of an up and down week…

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well mostly up.

oh yeah, i bought a car!

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for those of you who guessed that this ENTIRE post was so i could post the picture?

smart you…

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that may be my best fashion crime this year…

July 21, 2008

premature anti-climax

Filed under: bliss,dancing,festivals,life,music,pilates,Uncategorized,work — sassinak @ 10:16 pm

so as some of you are aware the hillside festival is this weekend.

as those of you who have paid attention to this blog for a long time are aware i tend to get very excited about hillside many weeks in advance and stay high from it for weeks afterward.

not so much this year.

in fact, next year? next year i think that i will attend as a patron instead. in fact i think i will do that from now on.

there is something very attractive about the idea of having a campsite of my own over near the showers or up by the nice beach or whatever. volunteer camping is losing it’s allure and well.

there’s something changing about the vibe that i can’t explain. i feel like the festival is at the point where it’s a well oiled machine but that that’s not entirely a positive thing.

i used to feel that, as a volunteer, my contribution to the festival was important. i also used to feel like a valued member of something and now?

now i feel more like hrm… like to them they are doing me the favour of allowing me to attend as a volunteer. that they don’t need *me* and even maybe just a little like they’d rather i weren’t there.

and i totally know that i’m the paranoid type okay?

i further know that i’m neurotic and likely to assume the worst based on very few clues… but i still kind of wish that i wasn’t going. well no, that’s not true.

i more just kind of wish that i were going to see the music instead. so i talked to othercat and next year we’re going to do that for a change.

imagine getting to go see ANY band you wanted.

imagine that?

i think that i rather like the idea strangely enough. i think we’re gonna do it.

this is, of course, subject to a revote on sunday but well… it feels pretty like a done great idea at this point :)

man the sleep we’ll get without the people shouting inches from my bed. plus going out for breakfast every morning if we want… nah, that part it too much work unless we’re accidentally up early.
and then i might volunteer to do workshops instead…

:)

breath, pilates and the pelvic floor; a frank discussion of sex with jokes and exercises to take home.

or volunteer pilates…

March 8, 2008

wishes

Filed under: anxiety,bliss,exercise,friendship,life,money,pilates,Uncategorized,work — sassinak @ 11:41 pm

how lovely is this? i got it in an email that informed me i had to forward it or i would have bad luck… of course good luck follows the forward. whatever. that said, it’s such a nice wish that i really would wish it for anyone i knew:

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

and see the thing that’s neat about this? i would absolutely wish that on anyone i know. anyone. this is what i want your life to be; you who is anyone that reads this blog ever.

the world would be better if that wish were true for everyone. people would share more and be nicer and maybe relax and slow down just a little bit. when did we lose the sitting on the porch with a lemonade or a mint julep and watching the sun go down?

why did such lovely moments of simple relaxation disappear? how is it that free time is the one thing we don’t seem to treasure anymore?

i say that, of course, in the middle of a day where i refused to leave the house (after a class i took this morning) and all i did was watch television and blog.  so it isn’t like i don’t treasure my time off.

in fact?  since i took a vacation it’s all i can do not to immediately take another one!

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in point of fact my current financial dilemma is more interesting than that.  you see there are these two courses  that i want to take and they are in may and within a few weeks of each other.  one is a weekend in austin texas which would allow me to a) go to austin b) meet a buncha folks i’ve known on the net for years c) learn from a pilates elder and d) experience a good pilates conference again.

the other involves a really great second generation teacher who is coming to toronto from her town to do a weekend on the cadillac.  my most underutilized but much loved cadillac.  the cadillac that i drove to virginia to get (with my father natch… in his truck)  and use constantly and do not know enough about.

so yeah, i want to do them both!

i want to do them both but i keep spending money and i really don’t have any savings.  i get that i have to invest in myself but it’s really hard because i also get that i need to continue learning because it’s that continued learning that keeps me on top of my field.

[not on top like my teacher or marie jose… on top like competent and involved and steadily evolving]

i want to take these great educational opportunities that would cost me about a thousand dollars in flight and hotel (but probably little to no food) and six hundred and forty dollars in tuition and throw two thousand dollars at them and just do them both but.

but i just got back from a vacation and while i’m doing okay with money in the sense that i’m making slightly more than i spend i am totally failing to save anything.

i have no rainy day cushion whatsoever and i hate that.

for five years i’ve been choosing the business and throwing money at it but it sucks.  it sucks because much as i love my business this constant living on the edge financially is draining and exhausting.

i hate making my rent with pennies to spare.  i hate having a few hundred dollars in my account in one of those ‘between cheque’ periods and i most assuredly hate being terrified of getting sick.

i can afford a week off now.  i have earned five sick days and two weeks vacation a year.  i can even take long weekends but savings?

i guess that’s the next hurdle.  i had thought it would come before time off but it turns out that one needs breaks to maintain sanity.  weird i know.

so there it is…. thirty six and starting to save money.

so now remind me… how do i save money AND go to school?

February 26, 2008

swirls

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it’s all swirly in my head right now:

part of me wants to talk about my friend adam eating’s dog getting killed last week and how sad i am about that

part of me wants to talk about running off to cuba on my first vacation in five years with nayrb

chunks of me are most fascinated that i came back from cuba and like my boyfriend more… which like, really, i didn’t think was possible

some of me wants to wonder why some people can’t just let me go even though they chased me out the door

bits are wondering about posting a couple of cuba pictures… here’s one that nayrb took of me at a crocodile farm we visited, a lovely cuban man handed me this bird…:

parrot.jpg

whole divisions wish to crow about my facility in cuba because i speak italian a little.  one lady even asked me if i spoke spanish!  go me!  not to mention?  i learned some spanish!

some of me is pretty excited about being back in my life.  in fact i got a little bored toward the end there… but that’s as it should be

parts of me wonder how it’s possible that fidel castro stepped down when *i* was in cuba!  like what are the odds?

the eastern division has me thinking about my beloved leafs and their captain.  it’s interesting that he chose to stay but i think ultimately the right thing.  i mean really, was it worth it to the leafs to lose him?  not for me.  of course i know i have a crush on him but i’m also realistic and this is a guy with a lot to teach the kids that are coming

my heart wants to talk to my parents and my sister but they’re always in bed when i have free time…

nayrb went in the ocean for his first time ever… i’m glad i was there:

oceannayrb.jpg

my heart is very heavy for my friend lsd

my skin feels particularly happy and glowing at the moment.  i turned all italian while i was away and i love it. i wish i had a tan all year long…

yeah, so as you can see, i’m feeling a little discombobulated.  kind of can’t figure out which way is up and at the same time feeling a little disconnected from it all.

ah well, i’ll try to enjoy it while it lasts

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i am now addicted to vacations.  i’ve already chosen my next four weeks off… one of them is the week i just passed… but next year  :)

February 6, 2008

relief

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i am looking at a cleaner desk.

i am looking at a cleaner desk that is symbolic of something so much better.

you see i hired my friend to come over and sort through all my papers. she will take all those myriad statements and bills and receipts and turn them in to some kind of useful filing system.

after that? she will enter all of this data into a spreadsheet and then? and then we will hire a bookkeeper who will do my taxes for the last five years.

yeah shut up, i am aware that i should have done them more recently. that said, i pretty much always do them every five years so this is nothing new. in fact i think the government will faint when i start to file annually.

so there are a few interesting thoughts hiding in the above, not the least of which is that i have finally accepted that *i* will NEVER get this crap done. i have been trying to make myself do this stuff for two years!

two years!

do you want to know when even some of it happened? yeah, last time i got this friend to come over and help me.

*sigh* i suck at this stuff. i can hardly call clients back and answer email let alone get my filing and paperwork done; so here’s the thing, i have accepted that i will not do this and chosen to spend some money so that it happens anyway.

i think this is akin to admitting that i cannot keep my house clean enough to run a business in and hiring a maid. i think it’s delegating of the highest order. this is extra funny because i’m always telling my boyfriend that he needs to learn to delegate.

but well, it’s a lot easier to see what other people need than what you do.

the other interesting thing hiding in the above is that i hired someone.

i have in fact hired another human being simply to make my life go better.  not only have i hired them but i’ve committed to paying them.  you know what this means?  this means that i actually BELIEVE my business is doing well enough to commit a couple of hundred dollars a month to making it run better.

yeah i’m kind of stunned to find myself in that position too but there it is.   i actually believe in my business enough to ask someone else to believe in it enough to work for me in expectation of money.  i mean she can make financial decisions because of me!

that’s so strange it is.

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in other news, nayrb and i have finally booked our vacation.

i know!  i’m going away for a WHOLE WEEK!!!!!

no work for a WEEK!

that mythical vacation i’ve been talking about for four years?  finally here!

*snoopydance of glee*

here’s the beach:

cccsena_04.jpg

and because i know you guys love this shit, here is the link to the resort.

the best part?

it’s in cuba which is one of the few places i had really despaired of visiting in time.  by this i mean that when fidel dies something is going to get different in cuba and i really wanted to see it the way it is now rather than the way it will be.  not that it isn’t possible that what’s coming will be better but still, it’s worth seeing now.

i don’t think we’ll be near enough to see havana, but there is apparently a quaint little town nearby that should satisfy our urge to see some real cuba… but let’s be honest, i just want to sleep and eat and drink and swim in the ocean and hang out with my boyfriend…

ahhh bliss.

January 14, 2008

on blogging

Filed under: bliss,blogging,candida,driving,family,food,life,men,pilates,truth,work — sassinak @ 4:21 pm

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it’s interesting this blogging thing, it seems that we pay more attention to these virtual journals at some rate that is inverse to our current levels of contentedness. there isn’t much to say about being happy in your life. somehow … somehow you end up with very little news.

hi mom, how are you

i’m well, your father is well, you?

i’m great

how’s nayrb?

he’s great, how’s your art class…

how’s your pilates…

this is all very interesting stuff you know but well, you can only do it so many times. lately i feel like that’s how the conversations in my life are going. my work is going swimmingly, in fact i think i got a very nice gift of equipment today.

my teacher outgrew a storage unit and i offered to buy it from her… in return she told me to take it. this thing that is perfectly measured to our equipment as designed by her.

like i’m complaining.

but see that doesn’t make for particularly interesting *blogging.* in fact it’s a very nice life to be living but it leaves me with very little to say.

i got a raise at one of the places i work.

seriously what is there to talk about? my current levels of angst are mostly restricted to road rage and scrabble with my boyfriend.

well and paying for my vacation. i think i will do it but it’s closer than i would like since we turn out to be going on a more expensive week. nayrb might have to be in charge of the tipping when we get there. did i mention i’m really excited about my first vacation in five years?

oh like sixteen hundred times now? is that all? can’t i do sixteen hundred and one? please? i’m really excited???

seriously folks it makes for deadly dull writing.

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in other news, i’ve come to the conclusion that i have candida based on a whole pile of urinary tract infections and millions of yeast infections and some gnarly flavours in my mouth.

i’m not too thrilled about this candida idea at all, pretty much it explains some plaguing health concerns in a way that has me utterly convinced that i’m infested with that fucking stuff… so i’m on a diet. [neither of these are canonical references… if you think you may have candida please do your own research]

a diet that allows me to eat basically meat, vegetables, eggs, balkan yoghurt and legumes and not to spice it with soy or anything containing vinegar or anything that’s fermented… don’t forget no meat or yeast…

did you know hot sauce was made of vinegar? that soy sauce had wheat in it? that coffee wasn’t okay? damm them, not even the decaf.

i stare at bread like a starving victim, all puppydog eyes and longing glances.  i swear i’m worse than a teenaged nerd with a crush on the prom queen about yeast and flour bearing objects…

and to add insult to injury?  it’s been a week and i already feel better.

dammit.

i don’t mind the five pounds that i’ve dropped really i don’t, i just mind that the damn diet appears to be helping because it means that i have to stay on it.

ah well, least i’m cooking more at home… and i’ve made a deal with my favourite restaurant so life isn’t all bad…

but i want french fries!!!

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so yeah, that’s the sum total of angst in my life… please to be telling me what exactly i’m supposed to write about?

December 31, 2007

there goes another one

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it’s that time of year again, the time when we eat too much and celebrate our loved ones and our lives or in some cases despair about our lives but no matter who you are you’re thinking right now.

you may be thinking solely about the shenanigans you will be getting up to this evening or perhaps about avoiding the fuss and hiding at home but if nothing else you’re considering your options.

you may, as i am, be thinking about who you will be kissing when the clocks of the city strike midnight or even who you won’t be kissing.

perhaps you are pondering your resolutions. one woman i know takes her resolutions very seriously indeed. last year she resolved to travel and see the world and she went to europe and africa. this is some resolving i can get behind let me tell you.

personally i am usually wont to resolve to do something with no guilt attached. i have oft been heard drunkenly declaiming ‘i resolve to have more fun’ and every year i try to do it. i think this year i will go for something with a little required effort.

perhaps i will resolve to work slightly less or to take a few more full weekends off. i know that i intend to take two weeks off this year which is something i have not done since i started to teach.

in fact i’m planning an actual vacation in february, i’ve even arranged half my substitute teachers already. gawd, an actual vacation, what a trip. it seems funny to have to resolve to do this but it seems i’ve turned into a bit of a workaholic in the last few years.

guess that’s what happens when your small business finally starts to be able to feed you. now i have to learn to say no to my clients, i have far too many days that are twelve or fourteen hours long and that has to stop. in fact i will no longer add new clients before 7:30am or after 7pm but trust me, that’s still more hours in a day than i should be working.

i’m hoping to slowly restrict those hours to 7:30am and 6:30pm but it’s hard. people work and they want me to work when they aren’t working and that leaves me with a brutal schedule.

i’m also thinking of getting a little more picky about who i accept as a client. up until now i’ve been a little bit desperate and i’ve had to take on anyone regardless. i’ve willingly encouraged people to go elsewhere if i didn’t feel that they suited me but always with a bit of a pang. now? now i think i will simply say ‘i’m sorry, i have a waiting list’ or whatever to people who rub me the wrong way when they call.

i want to play with my cats more rather than trusting them to exercise each other and in that light i want to spend more time at my boyfriend’s house because his poor cat is lonely.

i want to save money toward buying a place and create a financial cushion for myself that’s a little more secure than simply keeping a thousand dollars in my savings account… but that’s a start.

most of all? i want to have more patience and be less frustrated and be more open. miss clara hughes said that to the cbc one day and it’s some of the best advice ever. she also said to ‘be better’ to not be simply satisfied with being good but to be better every day. that too is some attitude i can get behind and something i feel like i need.

i still feel myself being more angry that i need to be on occasion and the rage engendered by driving the streets of toronto refuses to fade no matter how gently i approach it. i’m sure there are untapped reservoirs of anger inside myself that i have yet to find but i intend to plumb the depths this year.

life is about self-discovery after all.

i think i resolve to think about clara when i’m at my most angry…

be less frustrated

have more patience

be more open

… don’t just be good, be better

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happy new year to you and yours.

December 18, 2007

lucky

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i am the luckiest girl in the world.

no really i am.

not only do i have a lovely new boyfriend and much loved family and friends that love me but i have a job that i utterly treasure. i have the kind of job where i wake up cranky because my alarm went off and within five minutes of starting work i’m smiling and by the end of the day i’m fully excited about every second of it.

sure i’m happy when the day is over, who isn’t? even donald trump is likely glad when he finishes his day and that man loves to work a ridiculous amount. i’m also happy when i have days off or an unexpected free evening.

heck, the idea of seven days off in a row is enough to make me soak my chair, but that’s not the point. the point is that i have a job that charges me, excites me, challenges me and rewards me just in the doing of it.

along the way i’ve started to make at least a decent living and all signs point to that living firmly falling into the nice category by next year sometime. i mean i’ve almost paid off my credit card even!

i might even be able to buy a chair!

you know, what everyone does when they run out of debt, incur more!

anyway, my life is rocking along and years of really hard work are coming to fruition. i’m planning a vacation in february and to attend some conferences next year and i’m not worrying about how to pay for them.

they told me it would take five years and i’ve finished three or four depending on how you count so i’m even ahead of the game. maybe soon i can put serious money aside and buy a place.

this is already a great place to be right?

and then along comes christmas. along comes christmas and i get nine days off out of eleven or a five day weekend followed two days later by a four day weekend and then a three day week to boot.

i get a new client who buys a ten pack on his first day… and he’s awesome and it’s going to be so fun with him.

three of my clients in the same week come due for packs of ten classes and suddenly i practically have my rent for february paid… and i’m finished my christmas shopping already except for my annual splurge at the liquor store for hostess gift wine and prosecco and hosting libations.

and then?

i know, i’m already feeling incredibly blessed when my aunt hands me down her two year old computer… with a flat screen monitor to boot… [my desktop blew up in november]

yeah and then?

my clients, who i love and who keep me in brunches at maggie’s and finally new clothes? (did i mention i finally got those shoes?)

those clients? the ones who write me cheques and invite me to christmas parties at a chocolate factory?

they start handing me christmas presents.

i know… it makes me want to cry i’m so touched…

my tuesday night class as a group got me a gift… i mean wow.

i’m so moved.

i carried in three presents from two hours of work today… i mean… wow.

like wow.

i just feel really lucky right now and i thought you all should know.

also? yes the chocolate is as good as it looks, i recommend the fleur de sel caramels, the brownies and the gingerbread caramel squares thingies….

peace and love and luck like my current streak go out to all of you, even the ones who have never commented but read this… all of you, even the people who think i’m evil… all of you.

may the season bring joy and laughter and a few tears… but the good kind and kisses and hugs and chocolate and sweet nothings and food you love and small indulgences…

happy solstice and christmas and eid and chanukah.. at least one of which i spelled wrong…

thanks universe.

November 28, 2007

may you live in…

Filed under: bliss,dating,exercise,hockey,life,men,pilates,responsibility,surreal,work — sassinak @ 8:23 pm

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life is funny, last week i worked fifteen hours and this week i’m working 26 and next week too. (i need to work 20 specifically teaching which does not include travel and down time between clients… my scheduled work week is from 3 on monday to 2 on saturday and i work most evenings and every morning early.)

it was great, i got wednesday evening and friday afternoon/evening off!

anyway i’m hoping to get to a state where i work 25 hours a week and don’t have to work late into the evening on the same morning as i start at 6:30am.

more than that i’m hoping to take a vacation in february. first one since i went to new york with my sister just before tr and i split up. wow.

an actual vacation.

what the heck are the odds?

interestingly my friend the rolfer told me it would take five years to get to the point where i had a waiting list, and i’m at three and a half years since i finished my certification and four since i taught my first lesson (hi othercat!)

she was right too because i’m just about at that waiting list point but not quite because i’m still trying too much to find some savings. i think i might need to spend less on my education if i want to do that but that’s hard to countenance.

that said, 20 hours a week is a nice life and a consistent 25 is savings… go schedule!

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i’m now wandering toward the three month mark with nayrb which is an interesting time as well. it’s that point where you start to really look at the person you’re dating and see them more clearly.

you notice the little behaviours which are equally endearing and annoying depending entirely on your mood at the time. you see the edges and the funny habits and the attitudes you may or may not like.

you see where communication is full and where it breaks down and, if you’re me, you start to think. you notice what it’s like when you’re quiet together and when you’re both cranky and you wonder how that will work when you know each other better.

but most fun of all you start to believe just a little.

you start to think that maybe this might be someone that you could have around for a while. in fact you begin to grow accustomed to their presence in your life and their voice in your ear before you sleep at night.

you learn the sound of breath and the cadence of speech and the little private jokes and you start to feel that you are actually connecting deeply to another human being.

and it’s fun.

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oh god the leafs are so bad.

i love the leafs i really do but i might pretend that this year is a hockey strike.

the boys aren’t playing and i just wish that someone would light a fire under their asses.

someone? anyone?

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my lovely client B has decided to watch this year for the soap opera surrounding the leafs rather than for the team itself.

this strikes me as a great plan.

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lately?

i really really really love my job.

it’s the best job ever.

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hillside inside!

one day only on february second the magic of hillside comes to the sleeman centre in guelph…

AND???? xavier rudd is playing!!!

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if you’ll excuse me, i have to go meet a beautiful man for dinner…

October 31, 2007

off to see the wizard

Filed under: bliss,dating,life,men,pilates,socioanthropology,surreal,Uncategorized,work — sassinak @ 10:19 pm

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oh my god i’m going to orlando in the morning!

at 4:07 in the morning to be specific.

yes indeedy, at four oh seven in the eh em i will be standing at a bus stop wiping the sleep from my eyes and staring in wonder at the beautiful man choosing to take the bus to the airport with me.

personally, i think he’s nuts; airports suck.

then, as always, i will have to wander through the check-in and the ‘security check’ and then go and sit for two hours and wait for my plane. i will not, of course, sleep while i wait for fear of missing the plane.

there is something so time warplike about traveling by air. i always wonder if i will land on the same planet that i left or if i will appear magically in an alternate version of this universe or time.

there is, nonetheless, a ritual all tied up with flying. i have routines…

i get to the airport to the minute or earlier of the many extra hours suggested to me and stare in stunned stupefaction around the cavernous not-so-welcoming space until i find the hidden counter that allows me to check-in. the airline is irrelevant, this is always difficult.

eventually, i will find it and stand around semi-patiently while looking half asleep. at some point i’ll get to check in and realize that i’ve forgotten something. i can never figure out what in advance but as long as it isn’t my passport or wallet i don’t give a shit.

then, of course, there is the dubious pleasure of american security. yeah. they stare into my bag and i start to wonder if i’m secretly a terrorist. i mean do i really need a stainless steel water bottle to survive four days of talking to and learning from my fellow pilates instructors? can’t i survive with the available water and those piddly assed glasses they’ll provide?

nope.

and how about those lip glosses you’re checking? do you really need THREE of them?

seriously how do they make me, the most innocent of travelers, feel so much like i’m doing something wrong?

now, if it WEREN’T five am i would then enter the hallowed secured areas of the airport and wander off to the nearest bookstore, there to dissolve my sorrows in aimless wandering through the shelves. i have a deal, i can buy any book i want at the airport to a maximum of three per travel day, preferably no more than two.

i mean i have to get SOMEthing out of all the torture right?

after books i would head for some sort of food, but again, that will be closed and will have to wait until i land in memphis there to enjoy an hour layover. a lovely hour filled with OPEN bookstores and food. yeah baby.

i love airport book shopping, it’s really inexplicable.

.

to the young man who asked me where to find women like me.

who raved about how i was his dream woman (only far too old) and couldn’t exist.

to the older gentleman who doesn’t believe that women like me are real.

to all of you wondering where to find a lady who likes cars and hockey and video games and doesn’t care what she looks like when she’s camping?

try looking beside you.

she’s the girl who is happy to hang out with six guys and doesn’t check her mascara.

she’s the girl you ask for advice about the girls who can’t be arsed to talk to you.

just so you know.

.

oh my god i’m going somewhere warm for four nights and most of five days!

i get to meet nat!

there will be SWIMMING!

and communing with my fellow instructors!

and cool shit to learn!

.

but right now?

there’s a shower and three hours of sleep…

see ya monday kids.

.

you know, assuming i don’t land in an alternate universe…

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