snapshots of an idle mind

December 3, 2008

sticky fingers

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 8:20 am


i’m sorry that i haven’t been here.  i got some very bad news on october 24th in the afternoon and i basically couldn’t seem to figure out what to say or where to start.  my friend is dead.  that is all.

anyway i’ve been reeling and eating way too much (seriously i’m kinda like fattish again… or at least i’m developing some extra curves) food that doesn’t even taste good and i’ve been drinking a little more than i drink and basically just being in shock and not taking very good care of myself.

and i keep expecting that to improve.

like i’ll just be fine now since it’s been like a month and a whole menstrual cycle.

but i’m just kind of in this disconnected funk and i can’t really get out of it.

so i thought i would post this piece of a post started years ago with a few additions at the end and let my sticky fingers keep resting…


“things i know to be true”[read this first and then read this the continuation of the list here]

because this list should never end…

. life is supposed to hurt otherwise it’s worthless..

. if you have to ask how my date went, you already know

. it is unbelievable how refreshing a man is that admits that he likes you

. pilates is like crack for your body

. climbing makes pretty muscles

. i’m not fat anymore

. my new shirt is fantastic

. some people like drama more than they like the people in their lives

. i have a lot of email to answer

. my other new shirt is fantastic!

. i like this blog more than i like some of the people in my life

. i’m seeing someone

. yeah i didn’t see it coming either

. and since this post started last year i’m not anymore.

. and that status has changed and changed again still since.

. it’s hard when you like people more than they like you

. it’s harder when people like you more than you like them

. okay it’s a tie

. too much is worse than not enough

. or is it the other way around?

. i’m sort of in love with another cat [it was dumped at the farm, and it’s lovely and black and totally sweet if anyone wants a cat. should probably be an outdoor cat that’s welcome in the house but it may come in and never ever want out again. it tries to come in a lot.]{this is no longer relevant}

. lying is never easier, no never

. i will approach you with cautious but willing trust, sincerity and goodwill. i will expect the same in return and be sad when i do not get that, but i will try every time to stay willing and open

. some loves hit you over the head like a sack of hammers and leave you ever different

others come upon you slowly and steal into your heart when you’re not even looking

. guests who won’t leave after you tell them to are extra frustrating

. dating shouldn’t be work

. sex is an excellent aphrodisiac

. i need a source of cardio that doesn’t bore the shit out of me. any suggestions?

. i never want to go to bed at bedtime. i never have and i probably never will

. all of the truth isn’t always the truth you should tell

. any kind of love is fine, it’s your hate you gotta watch (margaret cho)

. one second of inattention can ruin your whole life

. making out with strangers is more fun than i care to admit

. if you don’t know what to do, ask your inner eight and eighty year olds. they’re smart, they know what you really want to do.

. in any long running dispute, both sides are equally at fault (inglis sign)

. it’s one thing for a guy to catch your eye. and quite another for them to catch your mind (terry – queen dork)

. it’s funny what you give up sometimes when you’re looking in another direction.

. it’s especially important to tell the truth when it’s hard

. once you lose truth the trust and caring needs must follow

. forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me (anonymous)

. love is friendship set on fire (anonymous)

. rain on leaves and distant crickets is one of the most soothing sounds there is

. i’m sad but my life is still good

. sadness and depression are not the same thing.

it’s learning to tell the difference that’s hard

. my new boots are ridiculously gorgeous

. it’s rude to rsvp to a party and then not show up AND not call

. driving on a country road in the fall is one of the nicer ways on earth to spend an afternoon

. i wish people would stop assuming that their personal belief system around sex (or religion for that matter) is the ‘one true way’ and that everyone else is ‘wrong’

. pain is important for perspective (debauchette)

. shopping for sperm donors is a strange and surreal experience

. i have the best job i’ve ever had

. it’s time for my nap


October 21, 2008

20 *good* questions

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 11:06 pm

i lifted these from a guy’s profile on of all things… but don’t they look fun?

1. What is the most foolishly dangerous thing you have ever done?

i don’t know because i’m not really afraid of much.  i think it’s probably either some kind of driving insanity or unprotected sex…

2. What is something that you have always wanted to do, but haven’t had the nerve to try?

skydive and surf… one is knees and the other is money rather than nerve.

3. Have you ever embarrassed yourself (vs. gotten in trouble) in front of the law? If so, how?

i was waiting for my father to pick me up in naples, florida when a cop tried to arrest me for soliciting.  this is particularly funny because i was a virgin at the time.

4. Is there anything you regularly spend more money on than you should? If so, what?

any of eating out, books, shoes or chocolate…

5. What is your guiltiest pleasure? (vs. your naughtiest pleasure)


6. What one thing most perplexes you about the opposite sex?

why say you’ll call if you’re not going to?  why bother?  i wasn’t even thinking you would until you said “i’ll call you” or “that was perfect” … if you’re not going to call?  don’t SAY YOU WILL!

7. What is the biggest thing you have ever done totally spontaneously?


8. Have you ever had the opportunity to partake in a big adventure or fulfill a major fantasy, but passed on it doing so, to your regret? Is so, what?

i could have spent the winter with the carnival in puerto rico, barbados and bahamas.  five hour workdays from 5-10pm and winter in the tropics… still regret that one.

9. Is there anything you would really like to know about a guy (gal) you meet, but feel it is inappropriate to ask too quickly? If so, what?


do you mind that in about two months i’m going to start actively trying to get pregnant?  from a sperm donor?  who isn’t you?

wait wait where did you go???

otherwise: do you have any stds?

10. What is the worst or most embarrassing date you have ever had?

the one where he didn’t show up, on valentine’s day.

11. What is the most decadent thing that you have ever done?

mani-pedi at the stillwater spa at the hyatt?

hrm… it all comes back to food, i’m italian and i LOVE food so whatever it was it was food. ahhh maybe new year’s eve dinner in a restaurant in italy?

12. If you could instantly be an expert in anything, what would you choose and why?

languages.  i would love to speak a bunch of them.

why?  because with each language i learn i find a new facet of myself and learn about the world and broaden my mind and…

13. Is there anything that both turns you off and excites you? If so, what?


14. If you could be a member of the opposite sex for one day, what would you do besides have sex?

you know i hadn’t really thought beyond the sex, but i think really it would be investigate my treatment by people to see if it really is different man vs woman.

15. What is the most noteworthy outfit you have worn out on an ordinary day? (Halloween or costume parties excluded.)

aw geeze now i can’t mention my bettie page night outfits…

um… when i was a sweet young thing i used to hang out in rock and roll bars…

so something like a hot pink miniskirt, tall boots and a fringed leather jacket plus bra and a LOT of makeup and BIG hair…

16. What is something outrageous you have done that you can’t believe you got away with, without being caught?

still as a teenager… shoplifting.

a lot.

17. What is something that you now know about the opposite sex that you wish you had known a long-time ago?

not to take them so seriously … life without a man in it is still a fine life.  or maybe not to invest until they proved worth caring about.

18. If a genie granted you three kinky wishes, what would they be?

an orgy

having a penis for a day

hrm… *smiles*

19. Do you have any inhibitions that you wish you could give up? If so, what?

i worry too much about other people when i should be worrying about myself.  who cares if they are uncomfortable… me that’s who.

i kind of wish i cared less about my cats and my clients and wasn’t afraid to sell it all and move somewhere at the opposite ends of the earth… just because

(as i typed that my cat mouse head butted me)

20. What do you think of these 20 questions?

i think they were fun and that they might just become a blogmeme  :)

October 7, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 8:58 am


there’s this thing that men that like me say about me along about the second or third date and it always makes me crazy.  it makes me crazy the way being called perfect does and for many of the same nebulous and hard to pin down reasons.

they tell me that i’m awesome because i’m not high maintenance.  and at first i thought this was a great thing to hear, i mean who wants to be high maintenance right?  who wants to be that kind of pain in the ass person right?

it’s just that somehow there’s this entire host of assumptions that go along with this idea that i’m low maintenance.

see that?  see that little switch i pulled?  yeah i didn’t either for a while.  you see when they say that i’m not high maintenance what they mean is that i’m low maintenance and you know what?

those two terms are not interchangeable.

i still want flowers and bon bons and random dinners just because.

i want champagne and door holding and silly romance just for the sake of it.

i’m still difficult and capricious and stubborn and i want my own way and i’m always right of course.

i want valentine’s day in july and my birthday in march and i want to be treasured and respected and wooed.

i also want to be treated like an equal and expected to participate fully in the building and caring for a shared life.  i don’t mean that i want to be a sheltered daisy but i do want something that being ‘low maintenance’ doesn’t seem to lead to.

somehow when you’re low maintenance you’re a host of other things too, things that i don’t entirely have words or descriptions for.  thinks like easy, passive, not stubborn, without strong opinions… and yet that’s not what i mean.

somehow low maintenance equals don’t have to try or something.  i’m not being fair to at least one man i’ve dated in the past okay?

i don’t even know how to protest it really i mean what do you say?  how do you put this into words on a second or third date without coming across like some sore of semantically insane woman who is too picky about words?


it’s kind of like the word perfect. somehow being beautiful and fascinating and hot and stunningly intelligent are all good where the word perfect makes my skin crawl.


perfect puts you up on some kind of pedestal that no one can actually survive the fall from.  it’s as though you are stuck up in the aerie and admired from a distance until the little things start to add up and then the rocks start flying.

the rocks start flying and you fall off the damn pedestal and there you are beaten and bloody on the ground and no longer good enough.

and you can’t measure up to that initial impression, you just can’t.

what i can’t figure out is how to sort the pedestalling men from the regular men.  like how exactly can you tell when a man is going to stick you on a pedestal and hate you when you fall off versus just thinking that you’re awesome but recognizing you as a human being?

because at first?  at first i think those two things probably look exactly the same.


i really don’t want to start having to wear four inch heels as a symbol of my high maintenanceness i really don’t but i fear that my easy hair and casual demeanor may be getting me in trouble.

setting me up as it were to be something i’m actually not because you know what?

i’m high maintenance too, i’m just not high maintenance about my fucking hair!


September 12, 2008



so i have some news that will not please some of you; nayrb and i decided a while ago to call it quits.

we were… not treating each other as well as we might have and all the talking in the world wasn’t making it better.  worse maybe since i think the talking was irritating us rather than doing any good.

basically we got steadily less nice to each other.  i got impatient and frustrated and he got kinda needy and we just kept pushing buttons and not really treating each other with kindness.

i’ve been kind of in shock really.

it’s not so much that we believed that we would *never* break up but that we had this deep affection for each other over and above the usual new toy neurological imperatives.  we expected that we would be able to deal with whatever the universe chose to throw at us, that we would at least be together for a few years.

and then it just started to go bad and it didn’t get better.


look a picture of me!  in my studio!  in my living room! on the phone!

me n' my studio...

me n' my studio...

isn’t it purty?


weirder even than being single again?



look harriet!




mouse with the same ball!

my ball!

my ball!


there, see how i distract you with pictures?

really though, he and i are both okay and i’m pretty sure we both think this is for the best.  we remain friendly and are in fact considering throwing a ‘sass n’nayrb split up – bring someone suitable’ party but we’re not sure everyone else would appreciate the humor involved.

still considering it though.


i think maybe the things we saw as problems the very first week might have had a lot to do with it, hard to say though.


in other news; i’m thinking of leaving my band.

there is a person in it who continues to make me uncomfortable in a pretty shitty way some two or three times a year.  and i know it’s her problem and not mine i *really really* do but that doesn’t mean i particularly want her negativity in my life any longer.

it’s desperately difficult for me to imagine not hitting my drum and singing at the top of my lungs every thursday night but aren’t these things supposed to make you happy!???!

truly i love the band and i regret regularly that i ever mentioned it in her presence.  i think i knew from the first that it would come to this but i don’t know how else to handle it.

i love the guys in that band i really do; they are some of the most amazing people that i have in my life and their bickering and interaction and just general good-natured fun with each other never cease to amuse me [except for the occasional moments when i want to kill them of course.]

either way, after her latest insult i will have to stay away for a little while for fear that i will say what i think.  she is a rather fragile human and most of her issue with me seems to stem from lack of self-confidence so really, anything i say will only serve to make it worse.

frankly i wish i could tell her to take her crap and fuck off.  but i can’t… the guys adore us both.

dammit! dammit! dammit!


doesn’t harriet look hilarious with that ball and the sun?


happy weekend!

September 5, 2008

feast days

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 9:50 am


it’s funny this being self-employed thing you know?  one minute you’re starving and paying for books with twonies [canadian two dollar coins] and the next you’re depositing more than fifteen hundred dollars in cheques from your clients and your piggy bank has spare cash in it again.

it’s a truly odd experience if you had gotten used to twice monthly pay cheques that always came out to the same amount or so.

even odder?  i will deposit the same amount again in the next couple of weeks and suddenly have my rent paid two months in advance.  the same rent i’m barely paying this month.

the thing you don’t really understand when you become self-employed is just how weird it is to have no financial stability at all and just how much pressure that actually puts on your shoulders all.the.time.

all.the.time.  even when the credit card is paid down to zero and the bank account has nice amounts of cash in it there is nonetheless this little piece that knows *exactly* how far that money will go and when more is expected.

furthermore that same piece always expects every single client to quit without notice.  kind of a shitty thing to have wandering around your shoulders you know?


in other news i recently attended the eaglewood folk festival in lovely pefferlaw ontario and i cannot think of a better way to start a vacation.  just can’t.

it was like i took two weeks off instead of one because i was so relaxed by the end of the first weekend.

course hanging at the farm with my parents was sure a nice way to spend the REST of my vacation!


so i’ve ranked the festivals i attended this year, ready?

mariposa: best musical lineup

hillside: best food

summerfolk: comfy like an old shoe

eaglewood: best all around time


and good christ is the weather ever awesome this week!

July 30, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 10:22 am


so i went to hillside and it was… weird a little.

in some ways i sort of blinked and missed it.  i talked to someone else actually and he said that he felt like he just got there and it was over.  we had been so busy with our volunteer jobs that we kind of didn’t notice the festival going by.

it was nice, and it was hillside and it was still better than being anywhere ELSE in ontario this weekend that’s for sure… but somehow i didn’t quite connect to it or it’s energy.

some years have been about music, and some about connecting with people and still others about whatever my volunteer gig was or dancing or personal discovery or whatever.

this year was about food.

i made my way through the festival like kim cattrall in the sex and the city movie.  i ate ice cream THREE times and had like four or five meals a day plus some snacks.

it was all i could do to let my food digest before i ate something else.

[truly this has been going on for a month or so but hillside was amazingly silly]

i tried all this great food that i couldn’t afford in years past.  couldn’t afford because i bought clothes; none of which appealed to me this year… so i ate.

god the food is amazing at hillside.

there was pakoras and samosas and great great great vegetarian meals and turkey and walnut kafka and organic ice cream and green curry something or other and the most amazing chocolate that i brough a bunch home and oh my god.

oh my god.

it’s so rich and delicious and i’m not sure i’ve ever had chocolate like it.  they grind their own beans on a fixed bicycle!

and the cappuccino guy makes what may be the best cannoli in the world outside of italy.


i ate two of them!

he doesn’t pre make them you see.  you order the cannoli and he takes out the shell and he puts the cream in from the freezer and he dusts it with icing sugar and he hands it to you.  most places the cream is already in the pastry shell and it’s just a little soggy.

these ones are… mmmm so good.


what’s funny is that i’ve been having great food for several weeks now and hillside was kind of the culmination of it all.

my theory is don’t worry about it until labour day and then stress for a few months to get back into the good habits.

then of course you slip at christmas and early winter and then get sane again.

yeesh, food sure is a funny thing.

we love it so much but we hate it at the same time.

if only it was the cannoli and not the broccoli that was the healthy choice…

and i even LIKE broccoli.


anyway i think hillside for me this year was the kickoff to a month of relaxation and in a way i treated it that way.

i’m going to two festivals, my parents place twice, camping party all just in the next month AND i’m taking the last week of august off.

SECOND vacation in five years boo yeah!

i know, and i bought equipment and i took a week off in february too!  [the aforementioned FIRST vacation in five years in fact.]

i’m really tired, i can’t wait to spend a week at the farm in the quiet and just doing physical work or reading or whatever…

sounds like heaven.


July 21, 2008

premature anti-climax

Filed under: bliss,dancing,festivals,life,music,pilates,Uncategorized,work — sassinak @ 10:16 pm

so as some of you are aware the hillside festival is this weekend.

as those of you who have paid attention to this blog for a long time are aware i tend to get very excited about hillside many weeks in advance and stay high from it for weeks afterward.

not so much this year.

in fact, next year? next year i think that i will attend as a patron instead. in fact i think i will do that from now on.

there is something very attractive about the idea of having a campsite of my own over near the showers or up by the nice beach or whatever. volunteer camping is losing it’s allure and well.

there’s something changing about the vibe that i can’t explain. i feel like the festival is at the point where it’s a well oiled machine but that that’s not entirely a positive thing.

i used to feel that, as a volunteer, my contribution to the festival was important. i also used to feel like a valued member of something and now?

now i feel more like hrm… like to them they are doing me the favour of allowing me to attend as a volunteer. that they don’t need *me* and even maybe just a little like they’d rather i weren’t there.

and i totally know that i’m the paranoid type okay?

i further know that i’m neurotic and likely to assume the worst based on very few clues… but i still kind of wish that i wasn’t going. well no, that’s not true.

i more just kind of wish that i were going to see the music instead. so i talked to othercat and next year we’re going to do that for a change.

imagine getting to go see ANY band you wanted.

imagine that?

i think that i rather like the idea strangely enough. i think we’re gonna do it.

this is, of course, subject to a revote on sunday but well… it feels pretty like a done great idea at this point :)

man the sleep we’ll get without the people shouting inches from my bed. plus going out for breakfast every morning if we want… nah, that part it too much work unless we’re accidentally up early.
and then i might volunteer to do workshops instead…


breath, pilates and the pelvic floor; a frank discussion of sex with jokes and exercises to take home.

or volunteer pilates…

July 9, 2008

thank you sir

Filed under: Uncategorized — sassinak @ 5:29 pm


sometimes you get to be a part of something awesome just because.

just because someone thinks of something and picks you to do it. or because you’re sitting in the right place at the right time… or because you’re wearing a great hat.


i attended the mariposa folk festival last weekend with my bestest friend othercat where we volunteered in unbelievably boring jobs, ran into old friends, made new friends, danced (me), sat around and listened to awesome music, drank some whisky (duh irish) and ate terrible food.

well terrible is an interesting word in this context.

i ate more ice cream and french fries than i ever usually do in a month this last weekend and each and every single one of them was DELICIOUS… but it’s still terrible food. and don’t even get me started on the wonder that is sweet and salty kettle cooked popcorn.

oh mah gah!!! (hi terry)

seriously it was so good and i gained five or seven pounds in THREE DAYS!


it wasn’t all good. i was enjoying a great set of live blues by the legendary taj mahal in the way i ALWAYS enjoy great blues or other dancin’ tunes when lo and behold the audience started shouting “down in front” at the dancers.

now, i MIGHT sympathize except for a few minor details:

– half the ‘blankets only’ area was empty save for cold and wet blankets that no one had sat on all day (seriously i know this because i sat on several of them throughout the afternoon)

– it’s the BLUES… get up and DANCE for god’s sake

– there is NOT ONE place near main stage at mariposa where you can dance AND hear/see the band. you can dance behind the soundbooth or off to the side where the sound is not too good and the visibility is nil.

– the festival is trying to attract a YOUNGER crowd…

uhm whut?!?

seriously can’t comprehend how cigarettes are more welcome than dancers…


it’s funny what hanging out at hillside does to spoil a girl. i go to other festivals and spend a lot of time disappointed at the waste or the lack of recycling or the not so great garbage habits and so on.

i don’t mind at summerfolk because they are following hillside’s example as fast as they can and such things are steadily improving. but come on people y’all are the ex-hippies and you’re using little 500ml water bottles and tossing the plastic in the trash like it grows on trees or something. aren’t you supposed to be the tree hugging sprout eaters?

funny this world the hippies wrought; filled with conspicuous consumption and disposable everything.


still and all, amid the mild disappointment i discovered some great new music and got to meet my friend nathan‘s wife and daughter and managed to get complimented for dancing by at least a few people so all is not lost.

and then nathan made the entire weekend worthwhile in one fell swoop (as if meeting his gorgeous family wasn’t enough!)

you see the folk community lost a legend to leukemia last thursday (Oliver Schroer) and nathan lost a personal friend. strangely enough the leukemia people were AT mariposa raising money. so, during his last set nathan had me pass my awesome hat in oliver’s name around the pub tent.

awesome hat:

(actual photo was taken in cuba)

(actual photo was taken in cuba)

the hat may even have inspired the move… but really i think it’s just that nathan is that kind of guy. so, there i am with my hat right?

nathan calls me up to pass the hat and people basically mob me for nearly ten minutes to put money in my hat. they were so generous that i was forced to steal a hat off a lovely gentleman’s head and send it on its way around the tent without me!

the thing about this is the way they chased me with money. no one was willing to be missed, if i missed them and was walking away a whole crowd would point me in the missed person’s direction and all of them wanted to make contact with me somehow.

touching my arm or meeting my eyes before they dropped their change or bills into the hat, saying people’s names or upending their change purses. it was as though they wanted to pour hope into the hat with their change (and bills, we got 200 dollars in BILLS alone and that hat was full of change!) or somehow make contact with me as a vessel.

i was so touched i nearly started crying several times [and then in the middle of it some lady thanked me for dancing all weekend and told me how much she enjoyed it!] i wish you could have seen them you guys it was amazing.

thanks nathan, that was a profoundly powerful experience for me and i’m touched and privileged to have gotten to do that.

June 15, 2008

all right all right




i promised myself that if anyone noticed that this blog had died i would write in it again.

i was thinking commenters but it turns out that the people who read this aren’t strangers from the world wide interweeb but friends and family that i don’t speak to that often.


those seem like the kind of people worth writing for.


it got really hard to write here after several people at once attacked me and some of those same people used posts that had NOTHING to do with them to somehow “prove” my evilness.

not so easy to put yourself out there when you know the water balloon filled with piss is waiting to land on your head.

that said, this month (two?) off has given me somewhat of a perspective shift on that. i can’t go around living my life for the people who hate me any more than i can go around living my life for the ones who love me. life has to be lived for yourself even if it means choosing to make sacrifices for loved ones.

no, those really aren’t the same thing.

i also can’t go around being afraid of what people who already hate me are going to say when i talk… i mean really now, how is that healthy?

it’s funny because someone wise once said that twenty five percent of people will love you, fifty percent will be indifferent and the other twenty five will hate you. since you can’t control what people think you may as well go after the first quarter.

generally that is a sentiment i have no problem with.

it’s just… it’s harder when it’s people who were intimates for some period of time before they changed sides. they know a lot about you and can most certainly do more damage. in fact i finally moderated ONE person for the first time ever because she was telling secrets that weren’t even mine. worse she was imagining details to fill in blanks and create patterns that never existed and then she was spewing that all over my comments section.

what are you supposed to do with that?

i considered moving the blog and i considered shutting it down but then you see she would win.

in the end i just didn’t say anything at all and i still lost because my friends and family (love ALL of you and you know who you are) defended me and then were in turn attacked by her. i lost double because i never did get another date with the guy she accused me of whoring myself out to and i quite liked him.

[funny, smart, hot, likes liberated women, science fiction and hot cars… what’s not to like?]

i did learn one thing though. my father is absolutely right when he says that what bullies want is to make you engage, to make you fight and yell and scream and the more you refuse to do that the more you piss them off.

unfortunately she got pissed off in public and my loved ones who DID engage took the brunt of her insanity and many of them ended up with hurt feelings. [incidentally miss g i did not, nor will i ever, coerce ANYONE to reply to you. i did ask a playwright friend for help drafting my single paragraph reply to your initial attack (no, i don’t think g is still reading, least i hope not because if she is her life is even smaller than i imagined and that’s just sad.)]

the part that surprises me is that i have trouble forgetting these people that really didn’t have my back.

it’s like i feel like the conversation isn’t over even though it is.

what’s weird to me is that that feeling exists at all when in all cases i could NEVER trust them again. when i know for a fact that my back is not something they have. when, in fact, i know that if i did turn my back they would likely stick a knife in it.

why is it exactly that i can’t stop wondering if they’re well?

regardless, this is my blog … MINE and no one gets to fuck that up for me, no one.

even if it did take me a while to get there.

April 8, 2008


Filed under: bliss,blogging,cats,eye candy,life,men,outside,pics,travel,Uncategorized — sassinak @ 8:58 pm


hey guys i got nothing… well i got lots of stuff and no time and frankly the posts are sort of gone when i get here… so i’ll post some pics.


oh if you’re one of the people who knows about my angsty week last week? let it be known that the mess has been put to bed…

so to speak… not like the cat vomit i found on my sheets when i got home from seeing my sister…


mmm cat vomit.


i had the kind of week last week where i didn’t notice when my credit card information was scammed and mastercard called me up to tell me that they needed to cancel my credit card and would send me a new one.

i didn’t even notice when the thing got sent express post and i had to go get it at the post office. frankly that’s sort of reassuring really.

anyway i finally noticed when the

01/04/2008 02/04/2008 USD1,032.77@1.045500LOWES #00498* CLARKS

appeared on the bill.

like what the fuck?

anyway it turns out that what happens is they notice the suspicious transaction and call you to confirm that you didn’t do it. then they cancel your card and send you a new one…

BUT the freaking charge still goes through.

so suddenly i was over my limit and going to the mechanic for ‘weirdness’

weirdness is NEVER cheap.

so suddenly i got it. someone can totally screw with your finances doing this shit and moreso i’m super impressed with mastercard’s prompt response. they were awesome. okay, except for not telling that the charge was gonna show up on my bill.

but, to apologize they raised my limit by twelve hundred dollars so i can’t complain. furthermore they’re ‘comfortable leaving it at that level’ which means my little business is doing even better than i think it is.

so, i had a very strange and fully angsty week with financial weirdness that turned out to be a bonus because after that charge comes off my bill i can buy a wunda chair! actually, the angsty weirdness was a bonus too because a LOT of things have been resolved.


oh right, pics!


sorry the lame gallery can’t count…



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